When you feel like you are tired of dating apps, and online dating in general, take a break from those dating apps. When you don’t feel even an iota of optimism and excitement when it comes to dating, then maybe you need to take a break from those dating apps.
I was recently with a group of friends and we started talking about the various dating apps. I quickly saw a pattern, and it wasn’t a positive one. There I was, surrounded by several amazing single ladies, each entrenched in online dating, and no one was optimistic. No one was excited. No one was hopeful about the plethora of prospects at their fingertips. Nope. They were downright jaded.
Too many bad dates. Too many disappointments. Too many matches that went nowhere. It was like the dating world of possibility had come crashing down on them, leaving nothing left but a sea of negativity in its wake. I couldn’t blame them—their list of trials and tribulations was legit. And sadly, this pessimism is trending among online daters.
Sound familiar? Well, as with anything you do in life, when you find yourself burnt out, it’s time to take a break. Here are three signs you may need to step away from the swiping.
3 Biggest Signs That It’s Time To Take A Break From Dating Apps
1. You’re Making Too Many Assumptions From Too Little Information.
You see one photo or even something in the background of a photo and boom—you swipe left. You have a reason. Something in the photo told you something about that person that you knew you wouldn’t like.
But here’s the thing: you don’t know. You’re assuming. You’re picking apart each photo and assigning a story to every piece.
We all do this to some extent, and we do it in almost every situation. From coworkers to fellow grocery shoppers, we use limited information as signs of who someone is on a larger scale. The problem is that we are painting a picture of an entire person when only given a few brush strokes. The rest we are making up based on historical data.
In the dating world, this is especially easy to do as you swipe through an endless supply of profiles with only a handful of photos to work with. But you might be taking it a little too far and I’ve witnessed it firsthand…
“I don’t swipe right on anyone with an incomplete profile. If they didn’t take the time to answer some questions, they’re either lazy or douchey.”
“He looks high maintenance.”
“No, he has a little dog. I don’t like guys with little dogs.”
Okay. Yes, you must have some sort of selection process – you can’t swipe right on everyone. But perhaps it’s time to take a step back and really look at your criteria. Look at the large assumptions you are making about someone based on one photo or one answer to a meaningless question. Would you want the same assumptions made about you? Probably not.
It isn’t fair to use a bad date in the past against someone you’ve never met. One person doesn’t define another. And just because you meticulously chose each of your photos, ensuring they all equally contributed to the vibe you wanted to portray, doesn’t mean everyone was that methodical in putting together their profile. Cut them some slack.
The point of the profiles is to show you potential, not give you a reason to pick someone apart.