Some people say being selfish is necessary. We are all selfish to a certain extent. However, sometimes we tend to be selfish without even realizing it. Most people become so drunk with the idea that being one with themselves and being selfish to take care of themselves is a form of self love, that they forget how important it is to pay attention to where they are going wrong.
The meaning of “selfish” is a person who is consumed or excessively concerned about oneself. Selfishness is a learned behavior that is reinforced with time. Humans are generally programmed to look out for themselves. Some people become selfish as a measure to sustain themselves. However, it is important to understand that there is a huge difference between looking out for oneself and being selfish. Human beings are naturally selfish since it tends to become a need to survive. It is important to redefine selfishness and balance the needs of oneself and the society they live in.
So here are some signs someone is selfish without even realizing it:
1. They never have a flexible routine
Being single, they may be super attached to their routine and that is why they refuse to make changes whether it’s their closest friends or anyone they are close to. If he or she has been single for a while, they are used to calling all the shots personally as well as professionally. Of course, it feels good to not make changes to routines they worked so hard to achieve. But by not making time for friends or close ones can be detrimental to them. It is important to be social while sticking to personal routines.
On the other hand, if they do make time for a date or friends and it gets cancelled for some reason they tend to freak. That’s definitely not a great sign. Sometimes a meeting can get cancelled or a potential date needs to be rescheduled because he or she got stuck at work. There is nothing to do about it. Being flexible sometimes is an important part of not being selfish.
2. They are a control freak
They want to control every aspect of their life, whether personal or professional. Being an absolute perfectionist at the office they tend to get very upset when someone at work makes a mistake or doesn’t do things their way. When friends make decisions that don’t agree with their thoughts, they get annoyed. That’s not being smart, that’s just being a crazy control freak. She make the rules and want the guys you date to play by them or he’s out. It is one thing to be confident and sure of what one wants, it’s another to just be a control freak. If they are controlling every aspect of their life, then there is no doubt that it’s a sign they are selfish.
3. They have too many habits
Their habits are pretty straight forward…Friday nights are for Netflix and popcorn. Sundays are self-care days and pampering themselves and they don’t want anyone to mess with it. They refuse to get out of their comfort zone to try out different things or go on brunch dates on a Sunday afternoon with friends. The point is, if they never let go of the habits, they will not know where true happiness lies. It’s absolutely normal to have habits, good or bad but the world shouldn’t run around them. If they are too consumed with their habits, they probably are a selfish person.
4. They complain all the time
Do they complain all the time? Do they tend to complain about how their work drives them crazy or not being able to afford a vacation or someone screwed up their hair at the salon? If in fact, that’s the case, then they are a selfish person. It’s absolutely ridiculous to expect someone to listen to their constant nagging about how things aren’t working out the way they want them to or how upset they are with their life. They are absolutely not being a good friend if they don’t see things from others point of view. It can happen that the friends have their own things to deal with and if the individual is always whining instead of having fun, then they are just taking advantage of them. Of course, it’s normal to share things with them but not 24/7. Grow the hell up and learn to deal with things without nagging!
5. They do what they want… always
They always do what you want whether they are single or in a relationship…and why not? It just feels good to be free and be able to do whatever. But while doing so, they end up acting like a diva. If this sounds like them, then they are a selfish person. If they continue with this behavior, they will end up losing friends and important relationships and they won’t even realize why. It will probably be because their friends got tired of how self-centered they are. The point is no matter what happens they will still think that they love themselves and there is no saving anyone from that.
6. Thinking only about themselves
Of course, it’s important to think of oneself. But if they only care about what happens to them, then they are probably selfish. It is important to have people in life that care and that it’s a two way street. So booking vacations without consulting the boss or forcing co-workers to do the extra work is not a great sign. Thinking about himself or herself only can only do so much. On the other hand, working together as a team can mean so much more.
7. Having a picture perfect idea about the future
It is absolutely amazing to have goals and dreams and knowing what to achieve in life. This becomes a concern when they don’t want to make room for love and a partner. They probably don’t want to meet someone amazing in the midst of chasing their dreams and goals. They can always have the best of both worlds when the timing is just right. Falling in love is a special and amazing experience. But if they are too consumed with the idea that it may interfere with the future plans then it is being selfish. It is important to not be so focused on the goals that they forget the important aspects of life that may have a positive impact on them and the future.
8. They just can’t be happy for anyone
Did their coworker just get a promotion? Or someone just got way too many followers on Instagram? Or their best friend got engaged? Getting upset every time they hear good news without being super supportive and happy, is a classic sign that they are selfish. Their friends are probably wondering why they have nothing nice to say when their friends share the good news. So unless losing friends is the goal, they might wanna keep their behavior in check.
9. They are super jealous
We all get jealous sometimes and it is normal. For instance, if someone goes on a vacation to where you always wanted to go or does something that you’ve dreamed of doing. Of course, anyone is going to be jealous. Being jealous is a sign of a human being with feelings. It can be a matter of concern if he or she is always the jealous person and tend to compare themselves to everything. This is another classic sign someone is selfish.
Now that you’ve figured out whether someone is a selfish person or not, here’s a few tips to stop being selfish:
- Become a better listener
- Try to put yourself in their shoes and understand their point of view
- Figure out a way to manage time in a fruitful manner
- Walk away from any negative circumstances such as not replying to the rude person at the coffee shop or the bus
- Understand the power of the present moment
- Break the old selfish habits and patterns and build new ones instead
- Release the endless need to control every event and person in life
To conclude, if these signs seem like something you can relate to, it’s time to take a long and hard look at their behaviors and feelings to assess if they are truly are selfish. This will help them to change for the better and give chances to themselves that they deserve. By making a conscious effort and seeing it from a different perspective can help to cultivate compassion and build better relationships. Being selfish only brings loneliness, isolation, and losing connection to your beautiful and authentic self. When we learn to embrace the power of now and understand the beauty that life brings, nothing can stop us from experiencing a magnificent transformation.