We help you get the great loving relationship that you want without having to play mind games, without having to play hard to get, and without having to pretend to be someone or something that you are not because I believe that you deserve to be loved for who you are. Today, we’re talking about signs of emotional unavailability.
If you want to learn how to really work on your own emotional unavailability because if you tend to be drawn towards emotionally unavailable people, you might have an issue with that yourself.
You might want to check out our free class called The Five Upgrades To Love Operating System.
Today, we’re talking about six signs of emotional unavailability.
1. NOT A LOT OF TIME BEING SINGLE.
The first sign that somebody is emotionally unavailable is if they do not have a lot of time being single in their history.
They went from one relationship to the next relationship to the next relationship to the next relationship to the next relationship, and so on.
This lets you know that this is a person who does rebound relationships.
Rebound relationships are really a symptom of emotional unavailability.
When somebody doesn’t take time between their relationships and goes from one relationship to the next to the next to the next, that’s really a sign of that they are not going through the healing process.
They’re not actually taking the necessary steps to ‘step into’ emotional availability.
Emotional unavailability is a totally normal thing that happens after a breakup. If you start to turn it into a habitual pattern, it can cement itself in place as more of a long term emotional unavailability and that’s problematic.
So that’s the first sign of emotional unavailability.
2. STILL HUNG UP ON THEIR EX.
The second sign is that this person might still be hung up on their ex.
I don’t necessarily mean that they’re lovesick for their ex or anything like that.
Obviously, that is a sign of emotional unavailability.
It could be anything with their emotional energy is still entwined up in some sort of relationship with their ex.
Maybe they complain about their ex a lot.
Maybe they talk about how their ex was a jerk or how their ex never did this or that.
This shows you that a lot of their energy is still caught up in their ex even if they are talking about how awful their ex was.
Of course, if you’re going to date somebody who has had a previous relationship in one form or another, the topic of their ex will probably come up.
But there’s a very big difference between saying, “Yeah, my ex was like this,” versus , “Oh man, I hate my ex. My ex was always doing this. You’re so much better than my ex,” and all that.
Again, that’s the whole rebound relationship mentality.
3. A VALIDATION-SEEKING MINDSET.
The third sign of emotional unavailability is that somebody is in a validation-seeking mindset.
This can be really hard to pinpoint especially if you’re just getting to know somebody. But you have to look at somebody’s behaviors, their intentions behind doing things, and little things that people do to that let you know if they are validation-seeking.
When somebody is seeking validation or in the validation trap— when they’re seeking validation from someone else— they’re not able to be fully present with you emotionally because their mind is at least, partially, trying to seek validation by thinking,
“If I’m with an attractive woman like you, that makes me ‘The Man’,”
“If I’m with an attractive guy like you, that must mean my ex was wrong for breaking up with me.”
“If I can date someone like you, that means that my mom will finally get off my case about getting married and settling down.”