One heartbreak is like a thousand lessons. Being able to love again is implementing the lessons you learnt.
All troubled relationships leave a certain amount of bitterness in our mouth. Most of such relationships are so painful that it makes us a whole new person, in all the degrading senses possible – a person unable to trust others, a person lost in hopelessness, a person who has no faith in humanity anymore; all in all a disintegrated person.
We are unable to look optimistically ahead to the future.
It is common for us to feel disoriented and it almost feels like we have visited hell and back. Experts and psychologists suggest that as time passes, with effort and a little will power, you can see the glimmer of hope.
Here are the top signs that indicate you are on a road to recovery from your unsatisfactory past relationship:
1. You are unaffected by your ex’s actions.
During a breakup, we often move through different phases of emotional outbursts (1) :
- The first of which is being desperate for answers – asking yourself and seeking answers from your close friends and family members about what exactly went wrong, feeling clueless and disoriented about why the other person left you.
- The second is being in denial. Here, we keep on telling ourselves lies about it being ‘just a bad phase’ to move over.
- The third phase is where we keep on bargaining the consequences of the breakup with our partners. We beg them to at least lessen the harshness of the punishment they inflict on us.
- The fourth phase is where you relapse to the pain and agony you were denying so long.
- Now, you are overcome with anger and become extremely violent to yourself and to others; frustration engulfing you whole.
- The last two phases are initial acceptance and redirected hope which makes you entirely free from the poisonous thoughts of the other person.
When you reach the last two phases you will entirely feel yourself rejuvenated with the new sunshine of hope. Your ex partner’s reactive actions on the social media, their sightings, accidental bump-ins with them, their new partner- none of it will matter to you anymore. They become just another part of the crowd and is left in the periphery of your attention.
And now you can sense, other people are centering in on your attention!
2. You sense a feeling of attraction.
Most of us hardly get compliments or are encouraged on our good looks when we are with a troubled partner.
We are hardly noticed for our external appearances, our virtues and and that can take a toll on our confidence level. Another way we hardly pay attention to other people’s flattery and often ignore loud signs of someone being attracted to us, when committed in a relationship.
But with time, you notice how people react to you.
You start feeling special again – you spend more time grooming yourself, changing your lifestyles, actively eating healthy, investing more on ‘me-times’ and not just that but also feel extremely attractive.
Apparently, you are engaging in self-discovery and finding peace in it.
3. You notice others and find them attractive.
With time you start feeling joyous and notice a lot of people of the opposite sex.
As you are healing from the previous relationship, you will see how others are endearing and appeal to you. Even those who initially didn’t catch your attention starts to hold a place in your heart.
You start becoming less critical and observe people with a more open minded. The world and it’s people start looking more positive and better to you now.
4. You treat yourself generously.
Bad relationships are mostly about ill-treatment. Coming from a persistent circumstance of being mistreated, abused, emotionally drained, sabotaged and neglected, you learn to put value to your damaged soul once you are out of the relationship.
You get so used to being mistreated that you may not see good intentions to any action from anyone.
But with time, you not only start acknowledging the good in others, you also feel appreciated. It is then, when you taste respect and self worth again.
You feel gratitude and the will to give back positivity as you receive, returns back.
5. You start appreciating yourself.
A bad relationship is often characteristic of dysfunction communication and connection.