9 Warning Signs Of A Controlling Boyfriend

2. Becoming a fashion police. 

fashion police

You both are getting ready for a party and you dress up in a sexy miniskirt you have always been dreaming to wear. You remind yourself “He would love this.” 

You are super excited, of course, to see the expression on your boyfriend’s face as you reveal yourself. Tadaa!

And there he is, totally blown to find out your audacity! He calmly tells you to go change the dress and you are astonished at his behaviour. Why would you not be? 

A controlling boyfriend, will ever so sweetly, tell you what to and what not to wear because there are predators waiting to tear you apart! And again, very sadly, you will comply with him, because his behaviour comes in disguise of care.

What you can do about it: 

Never ever change your dressing style for him. I repeat, NEVER EVER.

You are a grown adult and have the maturity to decide which dress looks vulgar, out of the context and odd on you and which doesn’t. If a dress makes you comfortable, you should never abstain yourself from wearing it, however ‘revealing’ or ‘exposing’ it is!


3. Trying to gatecrash your alone time.

Every single person has to give time to himself/herself to reflect his/her entire day and handle their personal issues. It’s natural for your partner to want to get most of your attention and time but it’s not acceptable when he/she doesn’t even give you time for yourself. 

If he fails to respect your personal space and tries to get access to passwords on your phone or other social media accounts you hold, you need to understand that he’ll someday stop respecting you. 

What you can do about it: 

Face him and communicate with him about time management and how you both can maximise the time spent with each other leaving enough space for your “me time” which he would not intrude.

Because when it “us time” it will be only him and you and when it’s me the time it’s only about you and your extremely personal space. 

Teach him the importance of staying away from each other for a considerable amount of time. After all “absence makes the heart grow fonder” is a saying to swear by.

 

4. Having a problem with everyone associated with you.

This is a tricky sign to identify, especially when you know that he has your best interest at heart. Every person you are associated with is a person who is secretly trying to harm you or your relationship. 

He will give you elaborate details as to why it’s safe to avoid that particular guy friend (your chuddy-buddy who is a gay!) who might be flirting with you, or the guy in your workplace who seems to give you too much attention, or the gym guy hitting on you, or the guy who sat beside you in public transport!  

It is of concern if there really are perverted people sneaking around, but every other person you are associated with cannot be a threat to you. They are simply a threat to his ego.

What you can do about it: 

You need to clearly make a point to tell him that you are emotionally mature enough to deal with creeps who might be trying on you. 

It’s necessary that you completely make him aware of the fact that it’s not possible for everyone to have a sexual interest in you. Even if they do have, make sure he knows that you are equipped with tricks to handle them.

Shreyasi Debnath
An editor and writer keeping keen interest in painting, creative writing and reading. I did my Masters in Clinical and Counselling Psychology and have been a counselling psychologist at a primary school for the past 1 year. I love doing absolutely anything that mends a mind and soothes a soul. Most often than not, I ponder over to come up with poems. A wandering soul in search for meaning.
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