Think you’re responsible for other people’s feelings? Or about their lives? If you struggle with this feeling then you need to realize that you’re NOT responsible for someone’s emotions. And no one is responsible for your feelings either.
Although you may influence how someone feels, you cannot change how they actually feel. You may try to support them, but can’t really fix it. It’s not your job. They are in charge of their behavior and emotions.
“Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.” – Elizabeth Gilbert
Do you feel responsible for other people’s feelings?
I know that this topic resonates with so many of you as you genuinely care about others. I’ve met more caring people than not in my life, and I also know that if you’re one of them, then you have a hard time to define your boundaries.
Recently, a friend of mine told me about the visit to her best friend who has relationship problems. My friend did her best to make her friend happy, but it didn’t work out. On the contrary, her best friend was complaining even more. All the negativity got out of control.
After my friend left, she felt heavily burdened by all those problems they discussed. She wanted to figure out the way how to help her best friend to feel better. She also felt responsible for making her best friend happy.
But did it work out? No. And here is the reason.
Some people value suffering over happiness, and there is nothing you can do about it unless they genuinely ASK you for help and they’re ready to do the work.
I know that this concept might be difficult to bring into reality, but you’ll save yourself so much worrying which doesn’t lead anywhere good.
Some people just want you to feel sorry for them and it makes them feel good.
They need your attention and they aren’t necessarily interested in solving the problem. They’ll tell you that they know you’re right to text you an hour later telling you what terrible happened once again.
I know that this sounds harsh, but it’s true. You can only meet people where they’re at in their life. And if their current state of mind is the wish to complain, then this is their choice.
You can never help a person who doesn’t want to be helped.
This is especially visible in parent-child relationships. Maybe you see your parents unhappy and restricting themselves in irrational ways, but you can’t explain to them that life can be different. Regardless of how much you help them, it feels like hitting the wall. I guess that many of you have this experience.
“You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of.” – Jim Rohn
Do you feel responsible for other people’s feelings?
1. You’re a loving being
I repeat this often at my workshops; under all that dirt and fear is love.
We want to help others because we genuinely care. That is a good thing, but it’s better to direct your help at people who WANT to be helped.
You can use your good intentions and loving heart for people who are ready for it. Not everyone is ready to receive love.
In reality, this seems to be one of the most challenging things on this planet. People are at different stages and levels of consciousness, so you can choose to do the good for people who are waiting for it.
If you waste all your energy on people, who value pain more than you can’t help where it makes a difference.
Since you’re reading these words, it’s very likely that you’re an empath (a highly sensitive individual).
2. Don’t get involved in people’s dramas
When we’re pulled into the lives of others, we can easily lose sight of our own lives. To put it very simply, if you think and talk about other people’s lives, then you call into your life THEIR energy. This is the same energy that has created the drama in their lives in the first place.
