Common Relationship Problems: Never Ignore These 5 Problems In Your Relationship 

Never Ignore These 5 Problems In Your Relationship 

Are you ignoring these common relationship problems that start to eat away your relationship and damage your bonding with your partner one day at a time?

Pay attention!

Relationship problems are a fact of life and every couple goes through them.

After the honeymoon phase is over, the problems begin. This doesn’t mean you have to give up though.

Take a close look at your relationship. Where do you spend most of your time? Are you caught up with the children or focusing on work?

One of the most common problems I see in my practice with couples is their inability to manage conflict.

Dr. John Gottman, the founder of the Gottman Institute, is a premier researcher on relationships. It’s not surprising that he found all couples have conflict.

What’s important is that you repair after the conflict and learn to manage the conflict. He found that 69 percent of problems in a relationship are unsolvable.

What does this mean? You need to understand the problem before you can solve it. There is nothing worse than feeling like your partner doesn’t understand you. This is when you begin to feel emotionally isolated in the relationship.

If you don’t work on understanding, this can be the beginning to the end.

With that, here are 5 common relationship problems you’ll experience as a couple and how to solve them.

1. Negative sentiment override

When couples are stuck in the negative sentiment override, they don’t notice the positive 50 percent of the time.

The negative sentiment override doesn’t set in overnight. This can take years to set in. But, once it sets in it’s not easy to repair.

What does this mean?

It means that you need to work on building a more positive relationship. Work on understanding your partner and don’t be so critical of one another.

Read 9 Surprisingly Simple Secrets To Build A Happy and Emotionally Committed Relationship

2. Flooding

I see this a lot in couples. This is when you are having a conflict with your partner and your heart rate gets to be 100 BPM or more. If you are athletic it’s 85 BPM or more.

Diffuse Physiological Arousal (DPA) enters the bloodstream and you go into fight or flight. This is a very uncomfortable feeling.

What you need to do is take a break from one another. You take your heart rate and you tell your partner you are flooded by physically separating from one another.

This means you can’t see or hear one another. You don’t even want to think about one another. If you do, this will keep you flooded.

It takes a minimum of 20 minutes to get your heart rate back down. Sometimes, for men, it can take longer. So, the break needs to be a minimum of 20 minutes, but no longer than 24 hours.

3. Not accepting your partner’s influence

When you are in a relationship, it’s easy to get into a groove. You have a family and a job to manage. It might be hard for you to put on the pause button. But, if you don’t your partner will start to feel as if they don’t exist or matter.

Make sure to schedule a time for one another. This is a time for the two of you to discuss what’s going on in your life so you can hear your partner out and accept influence from your partner.

Being in a healthy relationship means trying out what your partner has planned and having an open mind. This is not a time to be critical.

Read 7 Common Relationship Problems And Simple Ways To Fix Them

4. Not having enough fun together

In the beginning, fun was just built into the relationship. But, after a while fun gets further down on the list.

You have a new job, children, and a house to take care of. You stop making the relationship a priority and focus on other things. This means you need to schedule a time for fun like you did in the beginning.

Fun is the glue in a relationship. It is what will keep you together.

5. Letting outside stressors affect your relationship

This is when it is important to talk to your partner and for your partner to really listen to you. You can’t always control what is happening outside the relationship. But, if you have a good foundation in your relationship, then it won’t drive a wedge between the two of you.

In order to do this, you need to have trust in the relationship. This means that when you talk about what is stressing you out, your partner should not judge you or try to solve the problem. Your partner should listen and be supportive.

Read 12 Common Habits In Healthy Relationships Every Couple Swears By

In order to have healthy relationships that last, it’s best to get help for your problems and issues as early as you can.

Couples therapy can teach you to relate to your partner in a new way and give you a new perspective on the relationship.

I have been trained to use The Gottman Method for couples, which comes with over four decades of research. It starts with an assessment, this gives me a lot of information about the relationship. It would take many sessions to find out this information if I didn’t use it.

All relationships go through seasons and couples therapy can help you understand what those seasons mean and grow from them.

Written By Lianne Avila
Originally Appeared On Your Tango

Never Ignore These 5 Problems In Your Relationship 
Common Relationship Problems: Never Ignore These 5 Problems In Your Relationship

— About the Author —

Up Next

9 Tactics To Trigger The Hero Instinct In A Man

Hero Instinct In A Man: Ways To Trigger Their Inner Hero

Do you know there’s a hero instinct in every man? If you want to unlock that side of your man then you have come to the right place. Today, we are going to talk about how to trigger the hero instinct in a man, and do it the right way.

From understanding their innate drive to protect and provide, to unraveling the mysteries of their emotional landscape, we will explore what is the hero instinct, and what does hero instinct in relationships look like.

So, ready to know more about this side to men? Let’s go then.

Related: How To Make Your Man Happy: 25+ Last Minute Gift Ideas For Him

Up Next

Lost Connection: How To Heal From Emotional Neglect In Marriage And Find Hope

How To Heal From Emotional Neglect In Marriage: Tips

Do you know why some marriages appear to be thriving while others seem to be crumbling? What is it that creates such distance among spouses? While there can be various reasons behind marital distress, one often overlooked but significant factor is emotional neglect in marriage.

Emotional neglect can quietly erode the foundation of a relationship, leaving both partners feeling lonely, disconnected, and unfulfilled. Let us delve into the depths of emotional neglect in marriage, exploring what actually is, signs, underlying causes, and most importantly, how to heal and nurture a healthier emotional connection with your spouse.

What is Emotional Neglect in Marriage?

Emotional neglect in marriage refers to a pat

Up Next

6 Minutes To Improve Your Relationship: How To Have Better Communication With Your Partner

Minutes To Improve Your Relationship?

If you are thinking about how to improve your relationship, then you have come to the right place. How to better communicate with your partner? Communication is crucial to building a healthy relationship, and this article is going to talk about that. Let’s explore how to have better communication with your partner.


The three keys to communication are speaking openly, listening empathically, and reflecting back.

We usually skip reflection, so the speaker does not know if they have been heard.

A simple practice of reflection can build this skill.

Does your par

Up Next

6 Unconventional Relationship Choices That May Seem Weird, But They Do Work

Unconventional Relationship Choices That Actually Work

Unconventional relationship choices, huh? They’re like the hidden gems of the dating world, the rebels of romance, the quirks that keep love alive. Even though traditional relationships have their own appeal and charm, sometimes it’s the unconventional that brings some excitement into our lives.

From open relationships to living apart together, these relationship choices may be frowned upon, but for many people, these are the relationship choices that work the best for them. To each his own, you know.

Such non traditional relationships go against what most people think is normal, however, they show us that l

Up Next

7 Research Backed Relationship Remedies

Research Backed Relationship Remedies

When it comes to dealing with relationship problems, science can prove to be really helpful and can provide you with some substantial research-backed relationship remedies. This article is going to talk about some of the most effective and useful relationship remedies that can make a huge difference to your relationship.

You may think these should go without saying, but in my personal and professional experience, they have not.

7 Research Backed Relationship Remedies

1. Be Quick to Repair Injury

One day, my wife sensed my odd vibe, I didn’t like her asking, and it gr

Up Next

What is a Trophy Husband In Today’s Relationship Dynamics?

Signs of a Trophy Husband: Exploring Modern Masculinity

Most of us are aware of the term “trophy wife”. But have you heard about a “trophy husband”? It is a somewhat new term that is a gender-swapped version of the more popular concept of “trophy wife”. 

In today’s evolving society, where gender roles are constantly being redefined, there’s a rising trend of trophy husbands. These men are not only eye-catching companions but also possess qualities that make them desirable partners. 

Today, let us explore this fascinating concept and understand what is a trophy husband,  the signs to look for, why being a trophy husband is exhausting, and the potential issues that can arise in relationships with them.

What is a Trophy Husband?

Up Next

Feeling Like Roommates In A Marriage? 7 Signs Of Roommate Syndrome And What You Can Do To Change That

Feeling Like Roommates In A Marriage? Signs Spark Is Gone

Are you feeling like roommates in a marriage? You know, that sinking feeling when you realize the spark has fizzled, and your relationship has become more about paying bills and coordinating schedules than love and connection.

The thing is, roommate syndrome is more common than you think, and many couples face this, after being together for a long time. When you are in the roommate phase of a relationship, you might ask yourself why and when the romance disappeared or if you’re both just pretending to be happy.

But that might not be the case. In this article, we are going to look at what is roommate syndrome, the signs of roommate syndrome, and how to deal with roommate syndrome, so that you stop feeling like roommates in a marriage.

So, let’s get started, shall we?