The act of falling in love brings with itself a feeling of merging with our beloved.
“We feel like we and our beloved are one! All things seem possible! United with our beloved we feel we can conquer all obstacles. We believe that the strength of our love will cause the forces of opposition to bow down in submission and melt away into darkness. All problems will be overcome. The future will be all light. The unreality of these feelings when we have fallen in love is essential of the two-year-old who feels itself to be the king of the family and the world with power unlimited.
Just as reality intrudes upon the two-year-old’s fantasy of omnipotence so does reality intrude upon the fantastic unity of couple fallen in love.
Sooner or later, in response to the problems of daily living, individual will asserts itself. He wants to make love, she doesn’t. She wants to go to the movies, he doesn’t. He wants to put money in the bank, she wants a dishwasher. She wants to talk about a job; he wants to talk about his. She doesn’t like his friends, he doesn’t like hers.
So both of them, in the privacy of their hearts ,begin to have the sickening realization that they are not one with the beloved, that the beloved has and will continue to have his or her own desires, tastes, prejudices and timings different from the other’s.
One by one, gradually or suddenly, the ego boundaries snap back into place; gradually or suddenly, they fall out of love.
Once again they are two separate individuals. At this point they begin either to dissolve the ties of their relationship or to initiate the work of real loving.” – M.Scott Peck.
In any relationship, the initial feelings of attraction and euphoria are bound to pass. If we spend enough time with someone, we will gradually realize that we don’t agree on all points nor do we have all same preferences and choices or timings.
It is precisely at this point when we face the reality of falling out of attraction with someone, can we decide if we truly love this person.
True love requires effort and willingness to act in loving ways even if one does not feel like love –for the ultimate purpose of our, our partners (and our relationships ) growth.
Successful couples recognize the fact that relationships require effort and hard work and they are willing to work at it.
All couples go through some common problems and learning how to fix them in healthy ways can help us to enjoy a happy, fulfilling and long-lasting relationship.
Here are 7 of the most common issues and problems couples face in relationships along with simple solutions on how to fix them:
1) Lack of open and honest communication
Open and honest communication is the cornerstone of any healthy and happy relationship.
Sometimes, we assume that our partner will understand our needs and wants without even our expressing them but no one is really a psychic and they cannot get in to our head and understand our needs.
We need to communicate openly and honestly with our partner with maturity and calmness without being aggressive or condescending.
When we share a great bond of friendship with our partner, we can talk freely, authentically and without any masks and this will help us in dissolving all arguments cordially.
2) Constant Criticism and Nagging
We all are human beings and imperfect. We have flaws and make mistakes sometimes. It is important to accept and forgive your partners for few flaws they might have or mistakes that they may make sometimes.
Sometimes we chase perfection so much we constantly nitpick on the slightest flaws of our partners and criticize them endlessly.
While a little bit of honest and constructive criticism is required to encourage your partner to grow but constant nagging can cause you two to drift apart.
When we change our perspective and look at the great things that our partner does for us and appreciate them for who they are along with providing constructive feedback, it will greatly help them and the relationship to grow and prosper.