Love is magical. Love is happiness. Love is the greatest gift in the world. But it can also be a major pain in the neck. Relationships are complicated and it takes a lot of hard work and patience to build a happy and emotionally committed relationship. So what does it take to make a relationship healthy? Here are some secrets you need to know.
“A great relationship doesn’t happen because of the love you had in the beginning, but how well you continue building love until the end.” – unknown
Creating emotionally committed relationships is similar to baking the most delicious muffins.
This weekend, I attempted to bake gluten-free muffins. It got me thinking… if lasting love had specific ingredients, what would need to be mixed together?
What would make it delicious year after year?
9 Secrets To Build An Emotionally Committed Relationship
1. 100% Emotionally Invested:
Caryl Rusbult is a social psychologist who studied commitment in marriages over a 30-year period. This is not a “one foot in, one foot out” type of investment. This is an all-in investment, and it is required by both partners.
Dr. Gottman’s research highlights that successful couples turn towards each other’s bids for connection 86% of the time. Couples who separate only do so 33% of the time. In order to last, tune into what your partner is saying or doing.
Additional research highlighted that it wasn’t how often a couple fought, but how little affection and emotional responsiveness they offered one another that caused a relationship to deteriorate. Responsiveness is the cornerstone of trust and connection.
3. Cherish Each Other:
“A great relationship is about two things, first, find out the similarities, second, respect the differences.” – unknown
Partners who are 100% emotionally invested and responsive have positive views of each other. Whether they are together or separate, they think of their lover’s positive attributes and express what they admire to one another.
4. Put The Relationship First:
This means putting your partner’s needs on par with your own. This doesn’t mean neglecting your needs in favor of your partners. Doing this requires a willingness to kindly express your needs to your partner in a way they can understand because you know those needs are core to your own happiness.