9 Secrets To Build An Emotionally Committed Relationship

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secrets to build an emotionally committed relationship

Love is magical. Love is happiness. Love is the greatest gift in the world. But it can also be a major pain in the neck. Relationships are complicated and it takes a lot of hard work and patience to build a happy and emotionally committed relationship. So what does it take to make a relationship healthy? Here are some secrets you need to know.

“A great relationship doesn’t happen because of the love you had in the beginning, but how well you continue building love until the end.” – unknown

Creating emotionally committed relationships is similar to baking the most delicious muffins.

This weekend, I attempted to bake gluten-free muffins. It got me thinking… if lasting love had specific ingredients, what would need to be mixed together?

Read: 16 Valuable Lessons From Couples With The Strongest Relationships

What would make it delicious year after year?

9 Secrets To Build An Emotionally Committed Relationship

Recipe For Lasting Love
Recipe For Lasting Love for an Emotionally Committed Relationship

1. 100% Emotionally Invested:

Caryl Rusbult is a social psychologist who studied commitment in marriages over a 30-year period. This is not a “one foot in, one foot out” type of investment. This is an all-in investment, and it is required by both partners.


2. Responsiveness:

Dr. Gottman’s research highlights that successful couples turn towards each other’s bids for connection 86% of the time. Couples who separate only do so 33% of the time. In order to last, tune into what your partner is saying or doing.  

Additional research highlighted that it wasn’t how often a couple fought, but how little affection and emotional responsiveness they offered one another that caused a relationship to deteriorate. Responsiveness is the cornerstone of trust and connection.


3. Cherish Each Other:

“A great relationship is about two things, first, find out the similarities, second, respect the differences.” – unknown

Partners who are 100% emotionally invested and responsive have positive views of each other. Whether they are together or separate, they think of their lover’s positive attributes and express what they admire to one another.

Read: 100 Practices For Great Relationships


4. Put The Relationship First:

This means putting your partner’s needs on par with your own. This doesn’t mean neglecting your needs in favor of your partners. Doing this requires a willingness to kindly express your needs to your partner in a way they can understand because you know those needs are core to your own happiness.

5. Nurture Love And Respect:

Happy couples nurture gratitude for the partner they have. They honor each other and display respect, even during conflict.

“A healthy relationship is built on unwavering trust.” – Beau Mirchoff


6. Best Friends Forever:

If the above ingredients are available, it’s easy to see why committed lovers feel that there is no better partner in the world than the one that they have. A strong friendship makes it easy to weather relationship storms. Couples who have cultivated a deeply connected friendship are affectionate and even laugh together during conflict.


“A true relationship is when you can tell each other anything and everything. No secrets and no lies.” – unknown


7. Seek To Gain A Greater Understanding During Conflict:

Before happy couples come to an agreement on how to resolve their issues, they first focus on understanding each partner’s perspective. They focus on reconnecting emotionally before trying to resolve their issues.


8. Interdependent:

Each partner is connected and dependent on the other for closeness and comfort, but independent enough to pursue self-interest and share their perspectives openly, gently, and honestly. Even if the issue causes tension or conflict in the relationship.

Read: 11 Signs To Determine If You Are Compatible With Your Partner


9. Calm, Stable, And Safe:

A secure romantic relationship is as smooth as a calm body of water. An insecure relationship feels as unstable as a roller coaster.

By the way, to answer your most important question: No, my muffins were not good. I burnt them. 🙁

I guess the following directions is pretty important in making something delicious!

I’m taking off my “Kiss The Baker” apron and am going to eat my burnt muffins…

With love,

“Not a Muffin Baker” Benson


Here’s an interesting video that you may find helpful:

“In a relationship each person should support the other; they should lift each other up.” – Taylor Swift

Adapting these secrets to make your relationship better and stronger might be a challenge initially. In fact, you might not see any changes or results for some time. However, you need to be patient and maintain your efforts if you wish to enjoy the fruits of love.

The happiness quotient in your relationship primarily depends on the attention and effort both you and your partner invest in the relationship. A relationship will thrive and couples will get closer as long as they realize that both of them need to put in equal amounts of effort to keep the love and chemistry alive. 

Respect your partner and show them all the love and care you have for them. Keep your ego at the door and your expectations realistic. Express your feelings for your partner and appreciate the efforts they take to make you happy.

The happiest couples in the world follow their hearts, stay honest and appreciate their partners every day.


Written by Kyle Benson
Originally appeared in Kyle Benson
9 Surprisingly Simple Secrets To Have A Happy, Committed Relationship
9 Surprisingly Simple Secrets To Have A Happy, Committed Relationship
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