When You Regret Texting Your Ex: Here’s What You Should Do

when you regret texting your ex

Okay, So If I Didn’t Embarrass Myself In Front Of Them, Then Why Do I Still Feel This Way?

Let me ask you this: is it possible instead of worrying about their judgment of you, that you’re actually just judging yourself? Maybe you thought your fear was that they saw you as [weak, needy, etc], but could it be that you’re just experiencing a lot of fear from the breakup—and it’s about you?

I’d love for you to write down these fears that sound like they’re about your ex. You might discover that a lot of what you feel and think might have less to do with them than it has to do with yourself.

Maybe you’re afraid of being without them, not because they’re a great person, but because you’re terrified of being lonely. Maybe you’ve struggled with this longer than you have known your ex.

Related: 9 Do’s And Don’ts Of Texting In A New Relationship

The subject is loneliness, not your partner. Maybe you’re worried they’ll find someone better than you. Maybe this has been a theme in all your relationships. The subject is your insecurity about your worth, not your ex.

See where I’m going with this?

This article’s title is about what to do when you feel regret after sending a late-night text, so if you haven’t gathered where I’m going with this, let me be clear: it’s less about what you do after, but more about how you think about what you did. It’s about the story you’re holding onto in this experience.

The truth is, you don’t have to do anything, including texting again to apologize for the initial text. You just need to look inside of yourself and genuinely ask yourself with full honesty, why you sent that text in the first place. It’s likely more than just loving them.

Give yourself some compassion—it takes work to look at our insecurities and fear. After all, they’re what make all of us human. Look at it long enough to know that you are not your insecurities and that you simply see that some insecurities exist, and have innocently been guiding your behaviors. It doesn’t say anything about you.

Written By Nancy Ruth Deen 
Originally Appeared On Hello Breakup 
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When You Regret Texting Your Ex: Here's What You Should Do
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Nancy Ruth Deen

Nancy Ruth Deen is a breakup coach and former matchmaker. After quitting matchmaking, she became a certified psycho-spiritual life coach and decided to create a coaching practice dedicated to helping people redefine what it means to go through a breakup, and support them in their spiritual growth. She believes that the key to getting over your ex is rediscovering yourself in the process.View Author posts