Why I Need Reassurance, Even when I Love You
Never before had I felt what I feel now. When I met you, I experienced a whole new world where I could spread my wings freely, where my soul was awakened for the first time, where I realized how it is to live without limitations. I felt the unlocked doors of my heart opening one by one.
All this happened without overwhelming me because everything was so natural because I could feel the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle of my life finally falling into the right place. Then why, why do I feel the need for reassurance now and then?
Don’t get me wrong! Don’t think that I lack trust, faith or the belief that what we have is real and everlasting. I need reassurance as I don’t know how to live with the range of new feelings that I am experiencing.
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I need reassurance because I have been broken several times while I journeyed through life to find you.
I am still burdened by my past, and while I trust you fully, I cannot control my heart from fearing that the past will repeat itself. My heart cannot allow itself to be broken once more.
I know, I sound thoughtless when I say that because there is no comparison between you and those who have ever hurt me or even the average kind of guys who came into my life. You are far more than I could have ever wanted.
You are not the picture of perfection, and you won’t hesitate to let me know that, but I am also nowhere near perfection, and that is what impresses me about you. The imperfections in you make you perfect in ways that are unique to you. You treat me respectfully, love me with no holds barred, put your time and effort, encourage and support me through thick and thin. That you don’t shy away from introducing me to your closest ones and you soothe my nerves even when I am in the middle of the worst kind of mood fluctuations typical of women.
Inaccurate words, you are the blessing I have always wanted in my life.
I can’t tell in words why I need reassurance, but I do and I am sorry about it because you give me no reason to fear, but here is what I know:
I know I allow the previous experiences to get in way of my emotions, but I know too well you are like no one else.
I know I think too much and sometimes misjudge you, but I am aware that we are still in the course of knowing each other.
I realize my expectations often want things to be done my way, but I know it fully well that you too have ways to do things, and I am absolutely okay about that.
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I am aware that my doubts about you get the better of me at times and I end up saying things that I don’t mean, but I know deep down that I am attached to you in a manner that you will understand when I mean and when I don’t.
I know sometimes my mind tries to link up my past with my present and that’s when I don’t believe you, my stubbornness takes me over, but I also know that even if your reactions may not meet my expectations that don’t mean you have no concern for me or my feelings.
I know both of us to assume things and we do it quite often, but I can derive relief from the fact that we are capable of communicating with one another too well and that’s why misunderstanding can never creep between us.