Bad Relationships Are Not Mistakes

 / 

Bad Relationships Are Not Mistakes

Have you ever heard it being said that there is nothing called ‘Wrong’ in this world? Well, nothing that is an Absolute Wrong, anyway. There is your perception of Right and Wrong, and there is everybody else’s: what is your Right won’t necessarily be their Right, and it will definitely differ from my Right. The same goes for the Wrongs.

In my experience though, if you dwell on this thought, you might start questioning other things and mess up your life for a while (I was, for a certain period of time, obsessed with ‘whose Right is it that says I am real?’) — and we really don’t want that to happen. A good way to go about is by understanding that everything is neutral: neither Right nor Wrong. We only think it is.

It is all just a stage, an experience, an inescapable moment, with all the Black & White moments only inside your brain.

Honestly? I know these are only easy to follow on bright days but equally hard to even think about on a gloomy one, especially if you have just lost somebody to what you perceive was a bad relationship.

Anything that you’ve invested your time into becomes special and you believe in it. You believe that it could remain forever. Life, though, is ever-changing. Nothing is forever. Everything that is subjected to the tests of time — for it to keep existing, it requires passing those tests by constantly changing itself and adapting.

If they can’t: you can imagine every second to be something akin to a time bomb which can only be avoided by changing constantly — what doesn’t change gets taken down.

Constant adaptation comes naturally to some things: like nature, knowledge, ideas, and the universe. By constant, I only mean that these things have the ability to change efficiently for more number of times than most things. Not even these are forever — nothing is.

Relationships, however, are so fragile compared to these seemingly forever things. Sometimes, they escape the ticking-time-bomb by maintaining the people involved. Sometimes, they change by leaving them scattered apart.

These times, you’ll end up seeing it as the ‘Wrong Relationship’: something you wasted time in, wasted your emotions upon and sacrificed things that now feel like they would have done you better in the long run.

But, that is not right: the relationship was neutral.

It was one of those inescapable moments. You think you’d do better if you went back in time — you would, no doubt. But that is because you-of-then is different from you-of-now: you have changed. What you’d do as the you-from-now if you were to go back in time is what you have learned from going through all this amount of (ever-ticking) time.

The relationship was an experience that taught you how to be with someone, caring for them selflessly, how to be with different types of people, and how to be invested in somebody else’s happiness and well-being apart from your own.

It teaches you to open up, to speak up your thoughts and vulnerabilities, to communicate effectively, and to give and earn trust. You learn the power of care, affection, loyalty, and love. It taught you to be more than one person.

Showing your vulnerability is never easy, but when you do, it brings you closer to your partner and in a way strengthens your relationship. Read Finding Light In Darkness: How Vulnerability Strengthens Relationships

Every relationship has its good parts: you have learnt the importance of those good parts. There are bad parts too — and even they teach you something; about yourself or the situation — only if you seek.

A one seemingly wrong relationship should never be able to have the power to make you stop believing in relationships altogether. You have survived the ticking time, one unsuccessful relationship is nothing before that. How can it not be better to be living to your fullest? — being happy also couldn’t hurt. Why wallow in some bad parts of something that has ended already?

That being said.

I don’t want you to mistake a relationship to be any kind of necessity to live and achieve happiness.

A broken relationship might be a good way for you to enter into a relationship with yourself. It is never a bad idea to fall for yourself and learn facts about the new you-of-now. Likewise, you could choose to invest all your emotions in something else altogether — like friendship, perhaps. Or really, anything at all.

Time is always going to be ticking and you are always going to have to be changing — you might as well be happy and contented while you’re at it. Keep what makes you strong, leave everything that looks wrong to you, and just be happy.

Sitting and sobbing has done nobody any good. Smile and live. Setting yourself on a journey to happiness is the best way you’ll ever find to move on.


— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *



Up Next

The 3 Most Common Types Of Cheaters: Uncovering The Love Fraudsters

Most Common Types Of Cheaters: The Silent Echoes Of Deceit

In every love story, the sweet haze of romance often hides some unsettling figures lurking in the shadows—figures of deceit that can turn sweet stories bitter. When it comes to infidelity and cheating, you might be a bit surprised to know that there are different types of cheaters, mainly 3 types of cheaters.

Revealing these types of cheaters might bring out uncomfortable truths, but they’re important for understanding the complex world of human emotions. Through their different ways of dishonesty, they show the complicated and tangled nature of cheating. Each one represents a warning about the rough patches that love can sometimes



Up Next

How To Deal With A Jealous Partner

How To Deal With A Jealous Partner: Practical Tips

Jealousy is a normal part of any romantic relationship and to some extent it can even be healthy. But when your partner becomes excessively jealous it can turn toxic. Let’s explore how to deal with a jealous partner and build a healthier relationship. 

Love and jealousy

It’s a tale as old as time – two individuals come together, in love and hopeful for the future, only for one person to find themselves troubled by the other’s past relationships or experiences. 

If this rings true for you, you’re dealing with what’s termed as “retroactive jealousy“. It can be painful, destructive, and truly challenging, especially if



Up Next

Codependency or Love? 8 Signs Of Enmeshment In Romantic Relationships

Eight Signs Of Enmeshment In Romantic Relationships

Ever felt like you’re too close in your relationship? When two become one, where’s the “me” in the “we”? Welcome to the world of enmeshment in romantic relationships. It’s where deep love can sometimes feel like a tight squeeze. So, are you in a cosy embrace or a restrictive hold?

Join us as we shed light on these blurred boundaries and help you find your footing. It’s all about striking the right balance: being close yet maintaining your own space.

Ready to dive deeper into understanding enmeshment in romantic relationships and balancing your love connection? Let’s get started.



Up Next

Dating Someone With Relationship OCD? 7 Strategies For Supporting Your Loved One

Dating Someone With Relationship OCD? Seven Essential Insights

Relationships are built on trust, understanding, and commitment. These are the pillars that hold a relationship steady, even when storms come. And just like any challenge in life, some storms are tougher than others. One such challenge is when you are dating someone with Relationship OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder). 

This condition can bring unique difficulties, but with knowledge and patience, you can meet these challenges head-on. When you are dating someone with OCD and anxiety, both of you must make an effort to understand this disorder.

When both of you are informed, you can navigate the challe



Up Next

What Is A Summer Fling? 20 Tips On How To Have A Summer Fling

What Is A Summer Fling? Twenty Strategies To Have A Summer Fling

Warm breezes, sandy beaches, and a whirlwind romance that lasts just a season – ever wondered what is a summer fling? Dive in as we unravel this sun-kissed mystery and give you the ultimate guide on how to have a summer fling.

What Is a Summer Fling? 

The quintessential charm of summer lies in its fleeting nature, much like the brief but passionate encounters we often refer to as “summer flings”. What is a summer fling? 

It’s a



Up Next

What Is a Serial Dater? The Underlying Psychology and 5 Warning Signs

What Is a Serial Dater? Underlying Psychology and Five Signs

Have you ever come across someone who seems to be constantly dating, jumping from one relationship to another with lightning speed? They just might be a serial dater. What is a serial dater, you ask? 

Serial daters always have a new partner on their arm, leaving behind a trail of broken hearts. If you’ve ever wondered what drives these individuals to engage in such a whirlwind of romantic entanglements, then you’ve stumbled upon the world of serial dating. 

Let’s explore what it means to be a serial dater, identify the telltale signs of a serial dater, and delve into the complexities of this dating phenomenon. So, fasten your seatbelts as we embark on a journey to understand the enigmatic world of serial dating.



Up Next

How To Deal With A Perfectionist Partner

How To Deal With A Perfectionist Partner: Eleven Tips

Do you have a partner who constantly strives for perfection in every aspect of their life? While it may seem admirable at first, dealing with a perfectionist partner can sometimes be challenging. Let’s explore how to deal with a perfectionist partner and build a healthier relationship. 

How to deal with a perfectionist partner

A perfectionist partner has high standards and relentless pursuit of flawlessness, which can create tension and frustration in a relationship. However, it’s important to remember that perfectionism is often rooted in