12 Reasons Why “Find Your Passion” Can Be the Worst Advice

find your passion

When it comes to the advice “find your passion’, it can sometimes make someone feel more pressurized, scared, and intimidated rather than motivated, happy, and charged-up.

  • There are a variety of reasons people react poorly to the advice of “finding your passion.”
  • Some reasons include past experiences of being punished for having passions and self-hatred, which may make people feel that they don’t deserve to pursue pleasure.
  • People may also fear the exposure that goes along with declaring one’s passion or think of passions as a waste of time, for example.
  • Because of our fears and history, courage may be needed to pursue “finding your passion.”

These three words might comprise the commonest, best-meant advice proffered to those of us who are bored, sad, anxious, afraid, awkward, lonely, avoidant, self-hating, or struggling with recovery.

Find your passion. It means: Seek joy and purpose. Live your truth, whether that comprises rock-climbing, ferret-raising, dubstep, learning Dutch, anything. Remember and reclaim what you love.

It sounds good: sparkling with the charm of invitation, invocation, inspiration, surging with the hot pulse of permission, which is crucial for those of us who are frozen, frightened, nonstarting, and stuck.

But however they glimmer, those three words are often landmines. “Find your passion” sounds so easy and engaging, but can feel to hearers like a threat, a trick, a trap, a taunt, a fairytale-ish, spin-flax-into-gold ordeal.

Why do those words often wield the opposite of their fine intent? What makes this phrase so loaded? What suffering lurks in its seeming simplicity? Here are 12 possibilities.

Related: If You Haven’t Yet Found Your Passion In Life, This Is For You

12 Reasons Why “Find Your Passion” Can Be the Worst Advice

1. You’ve Been Punished For Having Passions. 

By someone somewhere back there who disapproved or did not understand or was dispassionate or cruel, thus enviously, ignorantly, furiously harmed, humiliated, or excluded you.

2. You Think You Don’t Deserve It. 

Self-hatred declares some of us unworthy not just of feeling pleasure but even of seeking it. Self-hatred warns us that we barely merit mere existence and no unearned extras are allowed.

3. You Fear Exposure. 

Declaring, much less pursuing, heartfelt passions reveal truths about oneself. This can feel unsafe for those who have been compelled to keep secrets, inhabit closets, and/or, for their own protection, lie.

4. Finding Your Passion Means Making A Choice. 

And choice-making is dangerous because the chance of choosing wrongly is huge and wrong choices wreak punishment, panic, and regret. Better to choose nothing than choose wrongly.

find your passion

5. You Think Passion’s A Myth Pursued By Stupid Suckers. 

Warned against “wasting time” better spent “responsibly,” you’ve been shamed into scorning quests as silly fantasies. So being urged to find yours feels demeaning.

Related: 4 Ways to Find The Purpose Of Your Life

6. You’ve Learned That Passion Hurts.

Through punishment but also loss. Loving something that proved prohibitively costly, risky, fragile, temporary, or impossible left you heartbroken, wrecked.

7. You Fear That Once Found, It Will Injure You — Or Worse. 

Some of us live in constant terror, thanks to trauma and/or anxious parents who said every pill was poisonous every stranger was a murderer and bicycles break bones.

8. You Fear That You Will Fail.

To find your passion in the first place or, once having found it, to experience it properly or make the most of it. Self-hatred freezes some of us in fear that we will fail at everything, even experiencing joy.

9. You Think You Can’t Afford It. 

Other people/situations/obligations require your earnings, time, and attention. Pursuing personal passions seems a luxury — selfish, superfluous, and unattainable.

10. You Have Anhedonia. 

Linked with depression, social anxiety, and other issues, anhedonia is the inability to feel pleasure or find interest in anything, even generic “fun things” and one’s own formerly favorite pursuits.

11. You Have Already Tried. 

You’re trying still. One need not be a genius to see one’s own unremitting sadness/flatness/emptiness and know that something’s missing. That’s the easy part. Think I haven’t figured that out?

Related: Ikigai: The Japanese Secret That’ll Transform Your Outlook On Life

12. You Hate Being Told What To Do. 

However healing and/or helpful the suggestion or instructions or advice, you will not take orders from anyone. How dare they order you around?

So yes: Pursuing passions sometimes saves lives. But because our fear and history can hogtie even the simplest and sweetest things, sometimes keen courage is required even to pursue the pursuit.


Written By S.Rufus 
Originally Appeared On Psychology Today 
find your passion pin
Ads

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *



Up Next

7 Toxic Beliefs Normalized By Society : Time to Challenge the Norms!

Toxic Beliefs Normalized By Society: Rethinking Norms

We have grown up in a society where lots of harmful beliefs have been considered normal for centuries. It’s 2024 now, and even though society has changed in ways, there are still many things that are wrong with it. Even today, there’re so many toxic beliefs normalized by society, and it can feel frustrating to say the least.

These harmful beliefs considered normal by society can greatly shape your thoughts, actions, and connections without you even realizing it. Let’s explore 7 of the most toxic beliefs normalized by society, and how normalization of toxic behavior can be extremely dangerous for us.



Up Next

The 5 Profound Regrets of The Dying: Life’s Last Lessons

The Profound Regrets of The Dying: Life's Last Lessons

Dying people tend to have quite a few regrets when on their deathbed. This article is going to talk about the biggest regrets of dying people and what they wish they would have done differently when they had the time. Let’s explore the top 5 regrets of the dying, and try to learn what actually matters in life.

KEY POINTS

Qualitative research on the top regrets of the dying can help us understand how to live happy lives.

Quantitative research confirms many of these findings.

Living authentically and focusing on relationships emerge as important themes in the research.



Up Next

30 Life-Changing Journal Prompts That’ll Boost Your Mental Well-being

Powerful Journal Prompts for Mental Health Strength!

Welcome to a journey of self-discovery and mental well-being! Many people resort to journaling as a method to take care of their mental health—it’s like a safe house for expressing feelings and evaluating oneself.

If you’re here with us, you are most likely interested in prioritizing your mental well-being. For this reason we have curated an exhaustive list of journal prompts for mental health strength, just for you!

Journaling enables you to organize your thoughts, get some clarity, and increase your mindfulness and self-awareness. Let’s explore the concept of journa



Up Next

Sleep Better with Pink Noise: Your Key to Quiet Nights and Restful Sleep

What Is a Pink Noise and Amazing Ways It Helps You Sleep!

Among the many ways to find calm after a busy day, pink noise seems like a secret partner in the fight against insomnia. That is why we have compiled this inclusive article on what is pink noise!

Ever find your brain in overdrive the moment you hit the pillow? Stress and anxiety disrupting your peaceful slumber? You’re not alone. Learning what is pink noise and how it works, could be your secret weapon against sleeplessness!

Now, here’s an interesting thing: you’ve probably heard of white noise, but there’s something called pink noise that scientists say might help with sleep. Could this be the secret to better nights?



Up Next

The Most Powerful Paradoxes Of Life: Unlocking 20 Secrets Of Life

The Most Powerful Paradoxes Of Life: Secrets Of Life

Ever wondered at the unfathomable nature of existence? How does it present us with the most powerful paradoxes of life that seem contradictory, yet are a crucial part of our human experience? Life contradicts itself at every turn, where the expected and unexpected stand together, and profound truths are often wrapped in paradoxes.

Today we will take a look at some of the most powerful paradoxes of life while considering their impact on our personal development, relationships, success and even mortality, among others. 

So come along as we unwrap the intricacies of paradoxes and to get to their core significance.

The Most Powerful Paradoxes of Life

Here



Up Next

10 High-Value Woman Traits That Sets You Apart From Others

Powerful High-Value Woman Traits That Sets You Apart!

When it comes to finding the perfect husband, boyfriend, or partner in life, there’s a straightforward but powerful rule to keep in mind: “You attract what you put out.” So, if you want to attract a high-value you need to show these high-value woman traits!

This means that the energy, attitude, and qualities you show to the world will often determine the type of person you’ll attract into your life. Think of it like a magnet – it pulls in things that are similar to itself. 

So, if you’re on the hunt for the ideal partner, remember that being the best version of yourself can be the most effective way to find someone who matches your desires and values. Together we will explore, what makes a woman high-value as well as understand how you can improve your self-worth and as a result increase your value!



Up Next

Financial Trauma: 10 Untold Secrets to Bounce Back from Cash Crisis to Financial Bliss

Untold Secrets Of Conquering Financial Trauma

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by financial problems? Do you always worry about money, struggling to meet basic needs, or haunted by money mistakes made in the past? If so, then you may be suffering from financial trauma.

Let us explore what is financial trauma, signs of financial trauma, financial trauma from childhood and how to deal with financial trauma.

What is Financial Trauma?

Financial trauma is an emotional and psychological distress caused by severe negative financial experiences and negative economic challenges. Some of these may arise due to various situatio