Am I perfect? Of course not – far from it. Would I ever cheat on a girlfriend or wife? Absolutely not in a million years. This is the problem with “monogamy” these days, it is seen as circumstantial. “I will commit to you as long as nobody better comes along…”
Screw that. A committed relationship is a committed relationship. If you are going to act single or if you are going to cheat, then just leave. Save your partner the heartbreak and torment of tossing their feelings aside for the sake of a temporary fling.
“Sometimes there a hundred lies behind a smile and not a single truth behind a tear.” – Saahil Prem
Many people will tell me that monogamy is not “natural,” which is actually true. Human beings are not biologically programmed to be with one single other humans for their entire lives. Hell, even marriage is a social construct that started out as a transaction between families to marry off their children in exchange for power or land. But society has evolved, and so have we.
Marriage today is a choice. Women make just as much money as men and no longer need to get married as they did 50 or 60 years ago in order to build a life. This is even more reason why when a couple joins hands and pledges to stay for life, they should mean it.
We know what we’re getting into. We know what our challenges are going to be. We know there are models and 6-packs and airbrushed tans all around us, and none of it is going away. So when we make the conscious decision to be with one single person for life, there should be no question of its sincerity.
Anytime I write an article like this I get people who comment on things like “well, what if there is abuse?” OBVIOUSLY, if there is any sort of abuse, a threat to your well-being, toxicity, or just good ol’ fashioned incompatibility, then YOU SHOULD NOT STAY IN THE RELATIONSHIP.
What I am talking about is people who face normal everyday hardships and choose to walk away because it’s just “too hard.” Divorce and breakups have become so easy they might as well create a drive-through divorce service (hey, nobody steals that idea…).
The bottom line is this – being in a relationship is about choosing your significant other every single day. About feeling as though he/she is the best person out there for you, and putting forth the effort to make the relationship work consistently. This needs to come from both partners, all the time.
“Cheating someone is a choice, not a mistake.” – Sushan Sharma
If it sounds difficult, that’s because nothing worthwhile comes easy. That’s why so many relationships fail today – people aren’t willing to put in the effort.
But just remember, the RIGHT person will keep showing you how much you mean to them, long after they’ve already gotten you.
Here’s a great video that will help you understand why cheating occurs in romantic relationships:
Written by James Michael Sama Originally appeared in The Goodmen Project