Why? This is the first thing someone who’s cheated on by their spouse or partner asks. Why? How could the person they loved and trusted the most betray them? However, that is not the easiest question to answer. Infidelity can be one of the most devastating things you can experience in life. But why does a person cheat on someone they loved so much at one time? What motivates someone to cheat in a romantic relationship? Let’s take a look.
“Cheating is the most selfish thing a person can do in a relationship! If your not happy with the person your with then end it. It’s that simple!” – Bryan Burden
Cheating. Infidelity. Disloyalty. Untrustworthiness (is that a word?) Whatever you want to call it, cheating in relationships seems to almost be par for the course these days. We often talk about how difficult it is to find happy, healthy, solid relationships in our society – and there are many different sets of circumstances that get blamed for this.
I was out with someone a few weeks ago and she was talking to me about how she felt that all of the temptation put forth by social media has really hurt the concept of monogamy and shifted the dating scene to something much more fleeting. Hence: The hookup culture. A somehow accepted norm in our generation that we just can’t handle being with one person anymore.
We need the flavor of the week. To upgrade. To always be testing the waters. To be onward and upward to the next best thing (person) as soon as they come along. I talk about this often in my articles and videos, discussing our ‘disposable society.’ However, while this is something that social media and the increased pace of our society has brought to light, it is not something that we have created.
“The new infidelity is between people who unwittingly form deep, passionate connections before realizing that they’ve crossed the line from platonic friendship into romantic love. Infidelity is any emotional or sexual intimacy that violates trust.” – Shirley Glass
You see, cheating on significant others has been around for as long as significant others have been around. Even the eras of our history that we romanticize – like the 1950’s – were full of debauchery and cheating. They had no Facebook or Instagrams or Tinders. They had no DM’s to slide into. They just had the newspaper, house phones (maybe), black and white TV, and the copy room at the office…
When the aforementioned girl I was out with told me about her theory of social media causing cheating, I gave my perspective that it doesn’t cause cheating, it is just another tool for it. So if social media isn’t the leading cause of cheating in our society, what is…?
“Cheaters dont think cheating is wrong until they get cheated on.” – Sonya Parker
Cheaters have, and always will be, the cause of cheating in relationships. I fully stand by the position that if a man or woman is in a relationship and has absolutely no interest in pursuing anyone else, that temptation simply doesn’t matter, because they do not even entertain the idea. Cheating has been around long before modern technology and it will be around long after it. It simply empowers the cheater in new ways, it doesn’t create them.
When I find that woman and end up in a relationship, I have absolutely zero interest in flirting with or spending time with other women, unless it is completely platonic friendship, or professional.
For me, if I am single, I am on the prowl just as much as the next guy. I would love to meet a woman who I really click with, am attracted to, and can build a future with. When I find that woman and end up in a relationship, I have absolutely zero interest in flirting with or spending time with other women, unless it is completely platonic friendship, or professional.
Am I perfect? Of course not – far from it. Would I ever cheat on a girlfriend or wife? Absolutely not in a million years. This is the problem with “monogamy” these days, it is seen as circumstantial. “I will commit to you as long as nobody better comes along…”