Having an emotionally intelligent partner is a godsend because if you are lucky enough to have one, be rest assured that you are in a healthy and happy relationship. The qualities that an emotionally intelligent partner possesses, not everyone does, and that is what sets them apart.
I’m not one to tell you who you should date or what you should value in a partner. No one can. You have to find what it is you care about, both within yourself and with a partner.
Not everyone is going to care about emotional intelligence or think it’s sexy. Let’s be real, a little too much EQ can sometimes ruin the fun and mystery of it all.
If you keep finding yourself going on one date after the other or feel something off about your current relationship, then…it might be your breath. It’s gotta be your breath. But seriously, you might be feeling like you’re missing something right now because you’re actually looking for something more, something deeper.
What does that look like? And how do I know if that’s what I want?
It’s what you want if you care for emotional intelligence, if you value the human experience. This is for those who want meaningful, emotional connections with those closest to them. This is for those who want to show up as a better person for their relationships, and more importantly, for themselves.
This is for those who value awareness of their strengths, weaknesses, and how their emotions can affect their perception of them, who have awakened to something greater than themselves.
These are the qualities of an emotionally intelligent partner.
The self-aware strive to learn how their own mind works. They know their strengths and are not afraid to admit to their faults.
They spend as much time understanding themselves as they do with the ones they care about. They pay attention to how they exude themselves and how it affects people, while not putting too much weight on what people think about them.
They are comfortable reaching out for feedback, criticism, help, ways to improve. They accept them calmly and look for ways to work on them rather than defend or deny them. They are aware of what does and doesn’t work for them, what they like and don’t like. They know that there’s so much we don’t know, enough to never assume or present arrogance.
Empathy is not innate to being human. It is something we learn, practice, and give meaning to. Some will read as much as they can about it. Some will do as much as they can to apply it. Emotionally intelligent people will do both.
They are the ones who can see past just the words that are said and understand the thoughts, feelings, and perspectives behind them. They believe that no one is innately broken. They are empowering because they know that each individual has the ability to both break or strengthen their own core.
They know how to relate. They don’t need to have everything explained to them. They get it. They know that love is communicated not just through physicality, but through feelings and thoughts of the heart and mind. They are considerate, compassionate, and know when and how much to put someone else first. They know that how people feel is more important than what people think.
3. In-tune with emotions
“At the end of the day, people won’t remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou
An emotionally intelligent person is attentive to their own emotions and how it’s portrayed and received. They have learned the vocabulary and patience to identify the specific feeling that’s occurring in not just their brain, but in their body as well. They are vulnerable enough to admit to any weaknesses that may have triggered it.