10 Ways To Prevent Your Friendship From Turning Into An Affair

10 Ways To Prevent Your Friendship From Turning Into An Affair 2

Prevent Your Friendship From Turning Into An Affair. Here are ways to make sure your friend doesnโ€™t end up being your lover.

Donโ€™t want to end up losing another friend?

Pay close attention

Many people worry that the only solution to this problem is to avoid anyone of the opposite sex, but thatโ€™s simply not true. Think about it: If you were to follow this advice to the extreme, half the world would be off-limits to every married person.

Men and women interact all the time despite the reality that a sexual attraction could spark between them.

Well-dressed women sit at the boardroom table with dapper men, stylish female sales representatives drop in on male doctors during lunch breaks, and well-built male physical trainers gently place their female clientsโ€™ body parts in the proper positions on the elliptical machine. Moreover, men and women interact in work cubicles, university lab benches, art, acting and yoga studios throughout the world.

Can people who are potentially sexually attracted to each other form friendships and still be true to their marriage? I believe they can. It is possible to be open to spending time with, work, study or create side-by-side with someone of the opposite sex (if heterosexual) or of the same sex (if gay or lesbian).

But as the friendship evolves, itโ€™s the responsibility of the married individual to pay attention to the nature of the relationship. Feeling comfortable around someone is a blessing. But when friendship crosses the line and you or they are starting to feel very close emotionally, it may be a big warning sign.

When youโ€™re with someone who could tempt you to compromise your commitment to your spouse, ask yourself one question: Is this new person a friend of my marriage? If he or she is a great buddy of yours but doesnโ€™t care to know about, or interact with, your spouse, then that could spell trouble for your marriage.

If youโ€™re not sure about what kind of friend this is, it may take some soul searching on your part. There are instances when friendship crosses the line, and itโ€™s not clear whether someone has crossed a boundary and become a threat to the marriage. In those cases, you must seek the opinion of the one person who matters most: your spouse.

If youโ€™re wary of a friendship that may end up crossing the line, keep these guidelines in mind. Is this person considered a true friend or someone who will put your marriage at risk?

10 Ways To Prevent Your Friendship From Turning Into An Affair

1. Your partner must feel comfortable around this person.

He or she doesnโ€™t have to necessarily have to feel spiritually bonded to your friend, but there should be a sense of comfort about your spending time with him or her.

2. Keep family bonds.

Your new friend must be willing to form a connection with your spouse and your family. Not just as a way to spend more time with you, but out of genuine interest in being a part of your complete life.

3. Hide no secrets from your partner.

You should neither give nor receive any secret communications. Any and all contact with your friend should be in full knowledge of your partner.

If you find yourself meeting with your friend by accident somewhere, you should immediately zip a text back home telling your partner that you ran into each other.

Have you ever noticed how, the longer you let time pass without telling your partner how you honestly feel, the larger the disconnect grows between you? Read What It Means When Couples Keep Secrets From Each Other

4. Donโ€™t speak poorly about your relationship.

Under no circumstances should your friendship include discussions about your mateโ€™s faults in anything but the most general terms.

Explaining a husbandโ€™s mismatched shirt and tie as, โ€œScott doesnโ€™t have a good eye for colorโ€ is acceptable; commenting that the lawn isnโ€™t mowed because โ€œScott is too lazy to get around to itโ€ is not.

5. Donโ€™tโ€™ let your friend speak poorly of their own relationship.

Likewise, your friend should not use your relationship to talk about faults in his or her partner.

6. Never value your friendship above your partner.

Never be in a position to say to your friend, โ€œIโ€™m telling you this because my partner wouldnโ€™t understand,โ€ or otherwise hinting that your friend appreciates you in ways that your spouse does not.

7. Refrain from talking about sexual subjects with your friends.

Under no circumstances should you be talking about any sexual issues with your friend. Itโ€™s fine to discuss the news of your favorite Kardashianโ€™s romantic exploits, but any discussion about your personal sexual preferences or experiences is strictly off-limits.

Avoid situations that can stir up physical intimacy, such as candlelight dinners, sitting in saunas without spouses around, or entering a dance marathon together. You may not feel any romantic inclination toward your friend before doing these things, but the right situation can breed new interest.

8. Minimize alone time.

You should not develop habits of exclusively having alone time with your friend. Itโ€™s critical that your family periodically be included in get-togethers. Be very cautious about regular rituals that you and your friend have.

Itโ€™s okay to say, โ€œWe always watch the Fourth of July parade together,โ€ but not, โ€œEvery morning, we go on a power walk together,โ€ unless you have your partnerโ€™s approval.

9. Stay sober.

You should never engage in excessive drinking or any illegal drug use with this friend, as sharing โ€œsinsโ€ together develops false intimacy, and substance abuse lowers inhibitions.

10. Pay attention to your emotions.

If you begin to feel a romantic attraction to the other person, or if this person begins to express one to you, you must immediately break off all relationships with that person.

Iโ€™m glad we live in a society where men and women can share time, thought and even friendships. But when friendship crosses the line, married men and women must be vigilant for risks of potential infidelity, and do everything in their power to be sure that any individual friend is also a friend of the marriage.

Not every relationship has to be romantic, friendship matters too. The best way to prevent your friendship from turning into an affair is to remember and follow these pointers. Because if you do, you donโ€™t need to worry about any kind of romantic complications in your friendship!

If you want to know more about how to prevent your friendship from turning into an affair, check out this video below:


Written By Scott Haltzman
Originally Appeared Onย Your Tango

10 Ways To Prevent Your Friendship From Turning Into An Affair

— Share —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

BFF Quiz: What Kind Of Bestie Are You Really?

BFF Quiz What Kind Of Bestie Are You Really 2

What kind of friend do you think you really are? Are you the dad/mom friend, or the therapist friend? Are you the fun one always planning adventures, the go-to for advice, or the chill buddy everyone loves to hang out with? Take our BFF Quiz and find out!

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

We all have that unique vibe that makes us different and our friendships special, and

Up Next

The Top 10 TV Duos Whoโ€™ll Give You Major Friendship FOMO

The Top TV Duos Wholl Give You Major Friendship FOMO 1

Ever find yourself binge-watching your favorite TV show and suddenly thinking, โ€œWow, I wish I had a friend like that!โ€? You know, the kind whoโ€™s always up for an adventure, shares your weird sense of humor, and somehow always manages to be there right when you need them? Well, youโ€™re not alone! TV has given us some of the most iconic duos that are so cool, so relatable, and so perfectly mismatched that they make us yearn for a friendship thatโ€™s just as fulfiling.

Up Next

How to Recognize a Real Friend vs. a Fair-Weather Pal

Signs You Have Found A Real Friend 1

Youโ€™ll meet a lot of people in your life, but finding a real friend is a bit like finding a needle in a haystack. Theyโ€™re not just about having someone to hang out with or share a laugh. They are the ones who really get you, the ones who stick around through thick and thin, the one who bring out the better version of you. The ones who make all the ups and downs of life way more meaningful.

(a

Up Next

4 Hidden Perks Of Having A Best Friend At Work

Hidden Perks Of Having A Best Friend At Work 1

Having a best friend at work is not just about having fun during lunch breaks or discussing the latest office gossip. It is a valuable relationship that can support you during stressful times. Learn how to make work friends if youโ€™re struggling to!

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

According to

Up Next

What Is Val-Core Dating: 4 Signs This Is Your Thing!

Is Val core Dating Your thing 1

One of the latest dating trends in 2024 is the Val-core dating or value-based dating. But is it a new trend or has it just been newly named? Have you always prioritized values to choose a partner? Did you feel attracted to someone who shares the same values?

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

In Val-core dating people choose partners based on the values that matter to them.

Up Next

7 Telltale Signs Your BFF Is A โ€˜Tenured Friendโ€™

tenured friend 1

Introducing your forever friend: the tenured friend. Coined by Jennifer Mika on TikTok, itโ€™s that person you can rely on to be around for a long time. These are the ride or die companions who have seen you through everything.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

W

Up Next

8 Signs You Are Outgrowing Your Friends: Growing Pains

Profound Signs You Are Outgrowing Your Friends 1

Do you feel like you are in a different place in your life, compared to your friends? And do you get that persistent feeling that you are outgrowing your friends? It happens to the best of us.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

With time and age, we all grow and change, and sometimes that means outgrowing the friendships you once held dear. The feeling of outgrowing your f