10 Ways To Prevent Your Friendship From Turning Into An Affair

 / 

10 Ways To Prevent Your Friendship From Turning Into An Affair

Prevent Your Friendship From Turning Into An Affair. Here are ways to make sure your friend doesn’t end up being your lover.

Don’t want to end up losing another friend?

Pay close attention

Many people worry that the only solution to this problem is to avoid anyone of the opposite sex, but that’s simply not true. Think about it: If you were to follow this advice to the extreme, half the world would be off-limits to every married person.

Men and women interact all the time despite the reality that a sexual attraction could spark between them.

Well-dressed women sit at the boardroom table with dapper men, stylish female sales representatives drop in on male doctors during lunch breaks, and well-built male physical trainers gently place their female clients’ body parts in the proper positions on the elliptical machine. Moreover, men and women interact in work cubicles, university lab benches, art, acting and yoga studios throughout the world.

Can people who are potentially sexually attracted to each other form friendships and still be true to their marriage? I believe they can. It is possible to be open to spending time with, work, study or create side-by-side with someone of the opposite sex (if heterosexual) or of the same sex (if gay or lesbian).

But as the friendship evolves, it’s the responsibility of the married individual to pay attention to the nature of the relationship. Feeling comfortable around someone is a blessing. But when friendship crosses the line and you or they are starting to feel very close emotionally, it may be a big warning sign.

When you’re with someone who could tempt you to compromise your commitment to your spouse, ask yourself one question: Is this new person a friend of my marriage? If he or she is a great buddy of yours but doesn’t care to know about, or interact with, your spouse, then that could spell trouble for your marriage.

If you’re not sure about what kind of friend this is, it may take some soul searching on your part. There are instances when friendship crosses the line, and it’s not clear whether someone has crossed a boundary and become a threat to the marriage. In those cases, you must seek the opinion of the one person who matters most: your spouse.

If you’re wary of a friendship that may end up crossing the line, keep these guidelines in mind. Is this person considered a true friend or someone who will put your marriage at risk?

10 Ways To Prevent Your Friendship From Turning Into An Affair

1. Your partner must feel comfortable around this person.

He or she doesn’t have to necessarily have to feel spiritually bonded to your friend, but there should be a sense of comfort about your spending time with him or her.

2. Keep family bonds.

Your new friend must be willing to form a connection with your spouse and your family. Not just as a way to spend more time with you, but out of genuine interest in being a part of your complete life.

3. Hide no secrets from your partner.

You should neither give nor receive any secret communications. Any and all contact with your friend should be in full knowledge of your partner.

If you find yourself meeting with your friend by accident somewhere, you should immediately zip a text back home telling your partner that you ran into each other.

Have you ever noticed how, the longer you let time pass without telling your partner how you honestly feel, the larger the disconnect grows between you? Read What It Means When Couples Keep Secrets From Each Other

4. Don’t speak poorly about your relationship.

Under no circumstances should your friendship include discussions about your mate’s faults in anything but the most general terms.

Explaining a husband’s mismatched shirt and tie as, “Scott doesn’t have a good eye for color” is acceptable; commenting that the lawn isn’t mowed because “Scott is too lazy to get around to it” is not.

5. Don’t’ let your friend speak poorly of their own relationship.

Likewise, your friend should not use your relationship to talk about faults in his or her partner.

6. Never value your friendship above your partner.

Never be in a position to say to your friend, “I’m telling you this because my partner wouldn’t understand,” or otherwise hinting that your friend appreciates you in ways that your spouse does not.

7. Refrain from talking about sexual subjects with your friends.

Under no circumstances should you be talking about any sexual issues with your friend. It’s fine to discuss the news of your favorite Kardashian’s romantic exploits, but any discussion about your personal sexual preferences or experiences is strictly off-limits.

Avoid situations that can stir up physical intimacy, such as candlelight dinners, sitting in saunas without spouses around, or entering a dance marathon together. You may not feel any romantic inclination toward your friend before doing these things, but the right situation can breed new interest.

8. Minimize alone time.

You should not develop habits of exclusively having alone time with your friend. It’s critical that your family periodically be included in get-togethers. Be very cautious about regular rituals that you and your friend have.

It’s okay to say, “We always watch the Fourth of July parade together,” but not, “Every morning, we go on a power walk together,” unless you have your partner’s approval.

9. Stay sober.

You should never engage in excessive drinking or any illegal drug use with this friend, as sharing “sins” together develops false intimacy, and substance abuse lowers inhibitions.

10. Pay attention to your emotions.

If you begin to feel a romantic attraction to the other person, or if this person begins to express one to you, you must immediately break off all relationships with that person.

I’m glad we live in a society where men and women can share time, thought and even friendships. But when friendship crosses the line, married men and women must be vigilant for risks of potential infidelity, and do everything in their power to be sure that any individual friend is also a friend of the marriage.

Not every relationship has to be romantic, friendship matters too. The best way to prevent your friendship from turning into an affair is to remember and follow these pointers. Because if you do, you don’t need to worry about any kind of romantic complications in your friendship!

If you want to know more about how to prevent your friendship from turning into an affair, check out this video below:


Written By Scott Haltzman
Originally Appeared On Your Tango

10 Ways To Prevent Your Friendship From Turning Into An Affair
10 Ways To Prevent Your Friendship From Turning Into An Affair

— Share —

— About the Author —

Response

  1. Maninder Avatar

Leave a Reply



Up Next

4 Hidden Perks Of Having A Best Friend At Work

Benefits Of Having A Best Friend at Work: Do You Have One

Having a best friend at work is not just about having fun during lunch breaks or discussing the latest office gossip. It is a valuable relationship that can support you during stressful times. Learn how to make work friends if you’re struggling to!

According to Research, ​work friends are crucial for your health​. This is because positive relationships foster shared purpose and accountability that pushes us to strive for excellence.

So without further adieu let’s learn the main benefits of having a best friend at work. Let’s go!



Up Next

What Is Val-Core Dating: 4 Signs This Is Your Thing!

What is Val-core Dating? signs it is your thing!

One of the latest dating trends in 2024 is the Val-core dating or value-based dating. But is it a new trend or has it just been newly named? Have you always prioritized values to choose a partner? Did you feel attracted to someone who shares the same values?

In Val-core dating people choose partners based on the values that matter to them.

Let us understand the concept first.

Val-Core Dating: Is It Your Thing?



Up Next

7 Telltale Signs Your BFF Is A ‘Tenured Friend’

What Is A Tenured Friend? Clear Signs Your BFF Is One

Introducing your forever friend: the tenured friend. Coined by Jennifer Mika on TikTok, it’s that person you can rely on to be around for a long time. These are the ride or die companions who have seen you through everything.

What Is A Tenured Friend?

Friend Tenure, as defined by Urban Dictionary, is that special bond forged through years of shared experiences. It’s what grants two people permission to share and do things others would never understand. This special connection also makes them nearly immune to consequences.



Up Next

8 Signs You Are Outgrowing Your Friends: Growing Pains

Signs You Are Outgrowing Your Friends: Growing Pains

Do you feel like you are in a different place in your life, compared to your friends? And do you get that persistent feeling that you are outgrowing your friends? It happens to the best of us.

With time and age, we all grow and change, and sometimes that means outgrowing the friendships you once held dear. The feeling of outgrowing your friends can be a bittersweet realization, filled with both nostalgia and the excitement of new beginnings.

If you’re wondering whether you’re going through this transformative process, look out for these eight signs of outgrowing a friendship.

Related:



Up Next

8 Signs Of Tenured Friendships: The Hallmarks Of True Friendship

Signs Of Tenured Friendships: Hallmarks Of True Friendship

Have you ever experienced that comforting feeling of a friendship that seems to have stood the test of time? You know, the kind of bond that feels solid, unbreakable, and… well, tenured? Tenured friendships are those rare gems that have weathered the ups and downs, the highs and lows, and have come out stronger on the other side.

They’re the friendships that have a certain depth and familiarity, like a well-worn pair of jeans or your favorite cozy sweater. But how can you spot the signs of a tenured friend?

Let’s dive in and uncover eight interesting and insightful signs that you’ve found yourself a true and reliable companion. But first, let’s know more about what is a tenured friend.

Related:



Up Next

3 Health Benefits Of Friendships And How You Can Nurture Them

Incredible Health Benefits Of Friendships

What are the benefits of friendships? Friendships aren’t just about having someone to grab a coffee with—they actually do wonders for your health! From boosting your mood to keeping your heart happy, dive into the benefits of friendships and how to nurture your friendships.

“Lying, thinking / Last night / How to find my soul a home / Where water is not thirsty / And bread loaf is not stone / I came up with one thing / And I don’t believe I’m wrong / That nobody, / But nobody / Can make it out here alone.” —Maya Angelou, excerpt from “Alone”

Since I was a little girl, I have had the blessing of many great friends. Some I am related to, some have been part of my life for decades, and others have been present for only a season.



Up Next

Toxic Friend Alert: 10 Warning Signs Of An Emotionally Draining Friendship

Shocking Signs Of An Emotionally Draining Friendship

Do you feel exhausted and drained after spending time with a certain friend? Do you feel like setting some strict boundaries around this “friend”? Then it is likely that you are dealing with an emotionally draining friend. Let’s explore the signs of an emotionally draining friendship and how to set boundaries to protect yourself.

Who Are Emotionally Draining Friends?

Emotionally draining friends are individuals who consistently demand excessive emotional support, monopolize conversations with their own issues, an