Everyone has regrets, and they can be detrimental at times. Regrets fade with time, but they lurk and grow over time as we get older and reflect on things we wanted to do but never did.
The worst part of regret is when we dwell on thoughts and knock ourselves up, replaying a devastating event in our heads over and over. It is self-defeating and may increase feelings of stress while also obscuring judgement in other aspects of life.
While we talk about regrets and making the right decisions, we came across John’s reflection on his life in a subReddit called TIFU My whole life. “My regrets as a 46-year-old, and advice to others at a crossroad.”
We hope you can draw inspiration from this story and make the most of it!
TIFU. More like my whole life really.
Hi, my name’s John. I’ve been lurking for a while, but I’ve finally made an account to post this. I need to get my life off my chest. About me. I’m a 46-year-old banker and I have been living my whole life the opposite of how I wanted.
All my dreams, my passion, are gone. In a steady 9-7 job. 6 days a week. For 26 years. I repeatedly chose the safe path for everything, which eventually changed who I was.
Today I found out my wife has been cheating on me for the last 10 years.
My son feels nothing for me. I realized I missed my father’s funeral FOR NOTHING. I didn’t complete my novel, travelling the world, helping the homeless. All these things I thought I knew to be a certainty about myself when I was in my late teens and early twenties.
If my younger self had met me today, I would have punched myself in the face. I’ll get to how those dreams were crushed soon.
Let’s start with a description of me when I was 20.
It seemed only yesterday when I was sure I was going to change the world. People loved me, and I loved people. I was innovative, creative, spontaneous, risk-taking and great with people. I had two dreams. The first was writing a utopic/dystopic book. The second was travelling the world and helping the poor and homeless.
I had been dating my wife for four years by then. Young love. She loved my spontaneity, my energy, my ability to make people laugh and feel loved. I knew my book was going to change the world. I would show the perspective of the ‘bad’ and the ‘twisted’, showing my viewers that everybody thinks differently, that people never think what they do is wrong.
I was 70 pages through when I was 20. I am still 70 pages in, at 46. By 20, I had backpacked around New Zealand and the Philippines. I planned to do all of Asia, then Europe, then America (I live in Australia by the way). To date, I have only been to New Zealand and the Philippines.
Now, we get to where it all went wrong. My biggest regrets. I was 20. I was the only child. I needed to be stable. I needed to take that graduate job, which would dictate my whole life. To devote my entire life to a 9-7 job.
What was I thinking? How could I live, when the job was my life? After coming home, I would eat dinner, prepare my work for the following day, and sleep at 10 pm, to wake up at 6 am the following day. God, I can’t remember the last time I’ve made love to my wife.