10 Reasons Why Most Men Can’t Handle A Deep Woman

Reasons Men Cant Handle Deep Woman

Why Most Men Aren’t Able To Handle A Deep Woman

If you are a deep woman, you are no stranger to the struggles of finding a man who is worthy of a serious relationship. You can go out on dates regularly but after a point, the relationship stagnates. The reason why your relationships stop progressing is your profundity. Very few men have the capacity to handle a deep woman like you.

In this article, we share 10 reasons why most men fail to handle a deep woman:

1. A deep woman questions deeply.

Deep women like to dig deep, as shallow conversations aren’t their thing. Even if it is the first date, they want to know deeper things about your life and often ask intense questions, maybe personal or philosophical, that you aren’t prepared to answer.

2. She is brutally honest.

A deep woman is honest to the point of being blunt. Her integrity is precious to her, and she believes in being brutally honest no matter what. If you are conversing with a deep woman, you must be prepared to hear the clean truth, and she expects the same level of honesty from you too.

3. A deep woman is sure about her wants.

She knows who and what she wants in life. She usually won’t need many dates to understand if she really likes you, she knows it right away. A deep woman doesn’t feel the need to explore other options before coming to a decision about you. She opens her heart only to a few special people, and she can spot them immediately.

Read 8 Reasons Why An Alpha Woman Is The Best Partner You Can Ever Have

4. She wants a real relationship.

She enjoys long conversations about your life, your past stories, your pains, and strives to add value to her man’s life. She is looking for a deep and genuine connection, which goes beyond having fun and fooling around.

5. A deep woman doesn’t fear intimacy.

Her need for intimacy goes hand-in-hand with her profundity. A deep woman wants to go to deeper levels with her person, she treasures the beauty of intimacy, and the fear of getting hurt doesn’t stop her from getting closer. She doesn’t believe intimacy will make her feel vulnerable or entrapped.

6. She sees you as you really are.

She can see through you, knows your vulnerabilities, and is straightforward about how she reads you, even if that makes you uncomfortable. She just wants you to feel that you can be your natural self around her, and know that you are understood.

7. A deep woman desires consistency.

A deep woman is in search of a genuine and strong connection, and she understands how important consistency is for a relationship of that intensity. Hence, she dislikes mind games and erratic behavior.

Read 6 Things A Strong Woman Never Tolerates in A Relationship

8. She is intense.

Whatever she does, she does it with great intensity. Starting from her thoughts to her emotions, to her expression of love- everything is very intense. Not all men can handle this level of intensity, but that’s just how she is when it comes to people she really values.

9. A deep woman can only love deeply.

If you fail to provide her the deep love she is seeking, she will eventually move away. She only gets into a relationship when she has deep feelings for a person, and she doesn’t know how to be casual or “just friends” with that guy. If you can’t love her as deeply as she loves you, she will detach herself.

10. She won’t wait for you.

A deep woman is not going to wait for you to be sure. If you are hesitant about committing to her, she will walk away. If you fail to appreciate her strength, passion, and depth, she will not waste her feelings on you. Although she is searching for a special bond, she is strong enough to be on her own.

Read 10 Qualities A Mentally Strong Woman Wants In Her Man


10 Reasons Why Most Men Can’t Handle A Deep Woman
10 Reasons Why Most Men Can’t Handle A Deep Woman
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10 Reasons Why Most Men Can't Handle A Deep Woman

174 thoughts on “10 Reasons Why Most Men Can’t Handle A Deep Woman”

  1. Avatar of Mary Trinh Ng

    I liked the concept that you were trying to convey, but I think it could have been executed better. I think it should have been written with less of a target on genders by using general terms such as “individuals” or “they/their”, as it is commonly known that humans no matter what gender are multifaceted creatures. Different people like different people. The general tone of the article sounded like it was boasting the qualities of a CONFIDENT woman rather than giving insight into the world of a deep woman. I believe it’s true that people who crave deep, intimate bonds and indulge in introspection and philosophy have a harder time forming romantic relationships and the reasons given were fair; but it could have been expanded in a much more insightful, non-egocentric way.

    For example:
    “When She Gets Intimate, it’s in extremes: She is fearless when she is in love. She likes to cross all the lines and doesn’t care if she gets hurt in the process. She takes pride in being intimate, and she knows that it is not going to make her vulnerable. Men, often get scared when they come across someone who loves so fearlessly. For some reason, this becomes a hindrance in their successful relationship.”

    For this reason, a more insightful and easy-to-take-in way to elaborate would be to expand WHY ‘she’ does, like: “Intimacy is a big deal for deep individuals because they understand the rarity of genuine bonds that exist unfiltered and vulnerable thus their affection and love for the people they feel intimate with are amplified tenfold.” I would also like to comment on the degrading tones on men who “can’t handle” deep women. “Men often get scared when they come across someone who loves so fearlessly”. A more objective way to put this would be: “For some individuals, women who indulge in their relationships so intensely may not be their cup of tea.”

    1. Avatar of Pradeep Tiwari

      Dear Mary Trinh Ng,
      your are absolutely right. Targeting a particular gender is something wrong in the article. There is no need of a rocket science to understand that all men are not same. You can find even a deep man who suffers a lot to get a perfect partner.
      Most of the things covered in the article also go with my personality but for a matter of fact I am an introvert too. And of course these are the reasons that I am difficult to accept most of the girls as my life partner. I do prefer mental openness than physical. It do not get biased, I do not fear to take a stand and present my views. So, as per my experience, yes, anyone who is deep suffers a lot to find a perfect mate but also knows how to handle the imperfection in anyone of them.

  2. Avatar of Jacob Speers

    You make it sound as if men have a duty to women to make their relationships perfect. I’ve never heard of any perfect relationship between any two people, ever. Men have wised up to the fact that “strong women” only want to take from men, and have men cater to their every whim, and then when they’re bored, blame the man who has tried to make her life “perfect” for their own boredom. What follows is him being blindsided with spurious restraining orders, abuse claims, having his life destroyed and his wages garnished all because the woman he tried to make happy got bored.

    Women aren’t finding relationships easy to come by because they have made relationships a lifetime burden for men, and men aren’t interested in putting up with it.

  3. Avatar of Jack Jameson

    You make deep women sound like insufferably pompous bores. I shall continue to give them a wide berth. Joie de vivre, compassion, and faithfulness are what I hope to find in a woman. It takes all sorts I suppose. Good luck in you quest for happiness, or should that be self-actualisation.

  4. Avatar of Pierre

    Thanks to your article, I have just discovered thatI am “a deep woman” ;-). As Annette Vaillancourt points out, this article could/should have been written for both genders.
    However, I do connect with just about everything listed in here, and I have been single most of my life, so I guess there aren’t a ton of deep women out there either (or, I was simply meant to learn lessons related to spending most of my life alone; since I have no regrets, that must be it).
    The article reflects a lot on the psychology of a relationship, it lacks a bit on the spiritual aspect of it. A spiritual (not talking about religion here, but it applies as well) connection is essential as well for a relationship to work.
    But thank you anyway, because as deep as I think I might be (yah! I am biased 😉 ), seeing it written down like this, offers much insights.

    1. Avatar of Cindy Mason

      Pierre, I couldn’t
      have said it better myself. There is truth in everything about this little diddy except, I too resent the gender specificity. Spirituality is essential to most of us deep folk, thats why were never really alone.

  5. Avatar of Annette Vaillancourt

    I consider myself a deep woman. The problem I have with these kind of articles is twofold. First, it makes is sound like it’s impossible for a deep woman to find a satisfying relationship, where there is no evidence, other than the author’s opinion that this is the case. To that, I say, “examine your beliefs. That might be the real thing that is blocking you. It might not have anything to do about the characteristics of ‘most men.'”

    Second, even though this may be intended to be empowering of women, it subtly or not so subtly bashes men. I am sick of man bashing. We don’t have to make others/men wrong or weak to feel validated or strong in ourselves.

  6. Avatar of Matthew Cook

    Number 1 first off is a no go in my book, you pry in my life particularly on the first date and it is an automatically not a second or even a full night date, I cut it off on the spot, leaving her to hang dry alone. Number 2 being honest, you will not be able to handle me, I throw you under the bus quicker than anything else, I am quite blunt and if I see that your not the one for me I leave on the dime I don’t believe I need to tell you why. I am a man of mystery and I love that of myself.

  7. Avatar of Leo Lenders

    The same goes for the other way around. It can be even more confronting for a Deep Woman to handle a Deep Man. In general, society doesn’t expect men to have the depth and awareness spoken about here. Yet, to me it appears there’s a shift happening towards depth and awareness in men, which is part of modern masculinity. Shallowness, in both sexes, becomes all the more obvious to those who seek depth.

  8. Avatar of Karim Gayraud

    It is not a problem of gender as the opposite is also true. It is a societal problem where most values are twisted and corrupted. Then again why philosophers and highly intelligent men have most often been alone. I am sure again it was not a problem of genders! I read something here in TheMindJournal about highly intelligent people having a hard time to find love. I think this is more along the line of a plausible reason, or is it just that opposite attracts like the narcisists to the empaths.

    1. Avatar of Nikki Bee

      I agree ~ it’s a cop out to gender traits such as these. It actually allows skidding through relationships by the seat of their pants strictly because it’s “expected” behaviour from a man. We are all capable of having a deep relationship.

  9. Avatar of Tim

    And when women find a deep man, most of the time they head for the hills, because he asks questions that they are not ready to answer.
    They feels vulnerable and exposed as he sees right through her with is authenticity, not even does he break a sweat when deep questions are asked.
    This has nothing to do with masculine and feminine, but is all about knowing yourself. He/she who has done some extensive soulsearching, enjoys answering and asking deep questions, knows what she/he wants in live.

    1. Avatar of Paal

      Right on. It has nothing to do with gender. But with self love. Being pushy and rightous with another is not self love. If so, I am either into an addiction of mine or some level of judging. To love myself is to pore love, as much as I can, into any struggle and experience I have. Love is acknowledge and wisdom. And that is beyond gender.

  10. Avatar of Hamza Asif

    waiting is the essential part of love… love is all about caring irrespective of other persons carelessness…so how come she a deep women if she even cannot wait for love :O

    1. Avatar of jakk

      such a strong woman, the only place will find solace, is in the arm of another “chortle” strong woman

  11. Avatar of Christy

    To the people who are saying “this is women against men”: women often ARE deeper than men. Not deeper than ALL men. But deeper than most of them. And it’s humanities fault. The men in our society are not emotionally nurtured or encouraged to be in touch with their deeper side. It’s totally messed up. But there comes a point when we have to decide to ditch our unhealthy upbringings and decide to emotionally mature on our own. Too many men get stuck in the emotionally challenged masculine roles they were raised to exist in. We need. to show our men, starting at a young age, that being masculine doesn’t mean being hard and cut off from your deeper self. So yes- MOST, not all men, can handle a deep woman. This will change as more and more men decide to challenge bullshit gender roles imposed on them from birth.

  12. Avatar of Michelle

    Very well said….
    Its same like me….and i found it excellent and very heart warming.
    It may not be applicable to others but an eye opener to all….

  13. Avatar of Corinne

    This is me, recognize myself in every element.
    Sometimes it makes me feel lonely to be so direct and deep, makes me think ‘Why can’t I be more easy-going’, but reading all these mentioned elements in one small article let me realize again that this is something to wear with a great sense of dignity and self-respect.

    1. Avatar of Paal

      You ARE being direct, but not deep. To be deep is to acknowledge that your experience is yours alone. That what brings up emotions in you is your responsebility. To shake loose from an emotionally addiction, you go inside with love. Rather than charge onto another person. It is your addiction. And your emotional charge that is holding you back. Love and let go. In other words. Acknowledge, love and go into the right action.
      Love (from one who’s trying to learn that everything is one. That you are in a sense me, and therefore I try to awake you with conserne and patience…)

  14. Avatar of Paxus Calta

    Sorry, this one just does not work for me. It is a crytographic pitch for monogamy. If you read these with through a polyamorous lens you will see that deep women are not poly. And as one respondent said, there is nothing gender specific about this set of characteristics, you could make the same case for deep men.

    And of course the post is also heteronormative. It is why men can’t handle deep women, but the exact same reasoning would apply to women not being able to handle deep women as well. Unless we think women are structurally better at handling deep. Which does not ring true in my experience.

    Relationship stuff is both complex and culturally dynamic. Lists of 10 reasons why something is universally true are likely to be simplifying problematically and dominant/oppressor culture reinforcing, just like this piece does.

  15. Avatar of Anna

    I am not sure why a deep woman is meant to know her mind so soon, or come to a deep understanding of someone else so quickly. Isn’t such quick assessment more likely to be part of a bias and prejudgment that we carry within us rather than a genuine response to what we learn in the present from our deep level of questioning?

    1. Avatar of Barry Andrews

      Good call Anna. I work in a group home and at present and for the last 5 years we’ve had all teenage female clients. We work at developing relationships with our clients so we can help them with issues. If I was prying all the time and always trying to get deep they would shut down and feel intruded on. . I do the opposite and keep the conversation safe and light and even fun. I had one client tell me she felt good because I laughed a lot and and that made her feel better. Another girl said she liked that I was real talkative cause she knew I was friendly. Interestingly the girls open up more and share serious issues when they feel safe and ready to talk. As well playing board games, cooking, and of course reading to younger clients or even just tossing a ball can help connect to younger children male and female and get them talking . Had a 7 year old who said he thought I really got how he felt and yet we didn’t really talk feelings but I did help him with his daily chore when I saw he was really frustrated and supported him in other ways. . Connecting without prying might even work with a man. HEY WAIT I AM A MAN! LOL Help us guys go deep TOUCHDOWN OH YEAH! Connection with young people we work with means a lot to me. Someone who saw me being silly with the kids was blown away when he saw an article I wrote cause he assumed I wasn’t so smart and a young woman in school treated me like I was dumb but got a shock when I did a presentation and was stunned when she saw my final grade was 90. She got 89 but fun to hear her say over and over You Got 90. Good perspective you bring Anna because it’s easy to judge but better to reserve judgement. I’ve found the youth I do my best to help have far more insight than people realize. Anyone could surprise with their insight even a man.

  16. Avatar of Chris

    I would have titled it
    “Why Most Men and Women, Can’t handle a deep partner!
    The inability to Handle deep people, is not intrinsic to one particular sex.

  17. Avatar of T. Rose

    You know those memes of female skeletons sitting alone with captions that read something like this: “She is waiting for the perfect man” or something to that effect? I want to answer that meme with this: “Ending up an old skeleton all alone is better than compromising and spending it with a shallow, self-serving jerk. Don’t think we can’t “keep” a good partner, anyone can compromise and spend their lives ‘committed’ to a ‘normal’ person who treats them like a glorified roommate (aka f-buddy). I know this because I work on help-lines where 90% of the calls are from people in couples who ‘feel all alone’ or who got dumped by their beloved and don’t think they can live without them. The other 10% are from kids who are still living with their abusive families.”

  18. Avatar of Bernard Lawson

    I’ve only read the original post, not the attachment, but I am a man who has so often been accused of being “deep”….. If what I have just read is true, then only a “deep” woman would be qualified to take me on…. I don’t care if I have to be single the rest of my life;- I would rather be single and happy than be with a “shallow” partner.

  19. Avatar of Maya Broman

    If one feels the need to say they are deep, then what does that say? Just wondering. Also do not mix ‘deep’ with someone with a personality disorder, complicated, difficult and temperemental. However that does not mean they are deep. Narcissists are the first to say they are deep, or interesting, complex, mysterious. This is just my experience in the psychological field. Also, depth cannot be measured, and all people would want to be called deep. You cannot just say, he/she is deeper than so and so. Can you? Let us just live and let live, because this article is another ego-based judgment factor.

    1. Avatar of Susan

      I disagree with your comment that all people want to be called “deep”. I’m okay being called shallow. I don’t really care what others think about my personality, though.

      1. Avatar of Barry Andrews

        Good call. Some people think I’m quite silly but I posted an earlier comment where I said it’s the most fun to fool them. This article has a weakness in that it teachs people to be judgemental. Oh NO I JUST JUDGED THE ARTICLE! Kinda proves my point haha.

    2. Avatar of Nancy

      Have you ever read the first part of the invitation? That is not someone that wants to talk about the latest whatever. It is someone that would rather be alone than chit chat about nothing at a party.
      Narcissist are a completely different ballgame. It is fine that you don’t understand the pain some go to live in this society
      but why judge?

    3. Avatar of Tonya

      Narcissists are actually shallow and they try to act like they have depth. But they dont. They are an empty wounded shell of nothing. Its easy to identify them. Just talk about deep stuff and watch them squirm.

  20. Avatar of Maya Broman

    Good points, but a little too black and white. Life has more nuances, this is categorical as hell. And very subjective, bordering on narrow mindedness and doggedness. Try to expand on your thoughts a little, thank you. x

  21. Avatar of Norbertdienne Gipala Sarita

    i just don’t like how this article is titled. it became women against men. i don’t think it’s about one who cant handle the depth of someone. People just really happened to be different. and it’s a fact that sometimes comes along later on and something that has to be painfully accepted or compromised. so it really matters to know who you are and what you wanto and what you can compromise and let go. but sometimes we just get so scared to face the truth until we have to.

  22. Avatar of Bella Vuchica

    The correct negation of the title would be: And Deep Women Can’t Handle Most men. … 😀 not u guys, don’t take it personally! Just to illustrate point no.2.

    1. Avatar of Brandon Ryan

      Growing up is was just do you look good, are you tough and tall, and do you have a large wallet? And now when things finally change and people realize their values, they make it look like the other person who was in the wrong.

    2. Avatar of Tina Swaney

      No one is in the wrong. People’s tastes mature with age, and in their own timeline. There was a time when manly was attractive but for me personally as I aged I realized that there is more to things than that.

      Wanting someone for their money is always, imo, horrible. However I can see now that when younger the mind and soul wasn’t a big priority. I think when an individual is ready for something meaningful (at whatever age) they will see the depth for what it is. Whereas when not looking for serious connection, big and tough is acceptable.

      Just my experience and what I’ve seen in my friends. 🙂

    3. Avatar of Brandon Ryan

      I don’t agree too much. To say nobody is in the wrong is making it right for the people who made fun of me in high school, the people who bullied others to suicide, the people who brought down what people built up, and the people who make many purposeful bad choices. I am young, but I take responsibility for my actions whereas others, do not.

    4. Avatar of Brandon Ryan

      Bullying is a contributor to emotions, or at least in my personal case. So I withdrew from pretty much everyone. Nobody ever thought for a second that I was worth it. So that’s why I believe that it goes both ways. Nobody can handle deeply emotional people because not everyone wants to deal with it.

  23. Avatar of David Aspegren

    I love women like this! That being said, I don’t like the way the article is written. Instead of primarily being about depth and the difficulty of finding a like-minded person, it becomes about women vs. men. It becomes about blame: blaming men. But this is far from the heart of the matter. Because the difficulty of finding a like-minded person applies to both women and men. It isn’t about your gender. It’s about who you are as a person.

    Furthermore, it’s not that people “can’t handle” a person with depth, or that he or she is “not strong enough”…. it’s that people are different. We have different experiences. We have different capacities for inquiry into those experiences. And thus, we have different perspective on life.

    All that said, I agree with the point of the article. And again, speaking for myself, a woman with depth and with complexity… is so very attractive! I like her fiery too! :3

    1. Avatar of David Aspegren

      Seroun Mouradian Are we talking about you? 🙂 I’ll pretend we’re not 😉 lol. Myself, I love fiery. But TOO fiery? It depends on the type of “fire” we’re talking about. Is it general anger and hostility, or her being overly competitive? In that case, no, that’s very unappealing. But if her fiery temper is coming from passion, or from her being strongly independent of mind, or from her having strong values, etc. then that’s very very attractive to me. I’m not entirely sure why. I think it’s because she’s challenging and she’s her own person….so she’s unique and different, and I respect her highly for the woman she is, or for the woman she wants to be. Also, I’m attracted to her because she’s exciting and unpredictable (she speaks her mind), and there’s a part of me that wants to tame some of her fieriness 🙂 (not completely though, because I like it. lol )

    2. Avatar of David Aspegren

      Seroun Mouradian

      You asked how to strike a balance. Hmmm, I’m not entirely sure. I don’t really think you have to purposefully strike a balance. To me, “balance” would be accomplished by a woman having in addition to her fiery and strong side, a soft and nurturing side. It’s like hardness balanced with softness…. like Yin and Yang— and like Tao 🙂 Even for men too, I think women like that, where a man can be strong but also be kind and gentle. Everything depends on context. For me, that’s “balance.” It’s having multiple sides to you.

    3. Avatar of Seroun Mouradian

      Hmm I think I do have a balance just naturally depending on my moods, but I never know maybe I just think I do you know. I would say my top 3 traits are: loving, adventurous, and humorous idk haha. David Aspegren

    4. Avatar of David Aspegren

      Seroun Mouradian

      For me, any balance that I have is related to having developed certain insights and dissolving aspects of the ego. And some of it, too, is simply related to my personality.

  24. Avatar of David Berger

    I know plenty of women that can’t handle a deep man. When PEOPLE stop with the sexist comparisons and realize that; “feminine” and the “masculine” each have a depth of their own. Notice I used the term feminine and masculine as opposed to man and woman….The reason for this is that some Women have more masculine traits, and some Men have more feminine traits. Masculine acts and reacts in certain ways as does the Feminine. Even in same sex relationships you will ALWAYS find that there is a masculine and feminine aspect in that relationship.

    1. Avatar of Chey Sanchez

      That makes it difficult to be in a relationship. When the woman is more masculine than her man. Often causes bad vibes. I don’t think it’s a good thing to be with a man that has more estrogen than me. Lol

    2. Avatar of Andy

      Right? I’ve met a few deep women and I’ve met an awfully lot of shallow ones. I often think the norm for both sexes is to show very little interest in anything outside of one’s self.

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