Modern Dating: Why You Hate It According To Your Zodiac Sign

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Modern Dating Why You Hate It According To Your Zodiac Sign

We all are accustomed to the ‘swiping factories’. It’s 2019 and one can get groceries, veggies, movie tickets, money, lingerie and almost everything under the sun, online.

Everything but love.

Although, Tinder,  Bumble, OkCupid, Hinge, Happn, Coffee meets bagel and probably a hundred more apps have tried their best to spark our hearts, but sadly half of their customers can’t help but remind the other half of their oozing,  uncontrollable flow of testosterone and estrogen. Getting invitations for one night stands and then being ghosted is too mainstream these days.

Outcomes of these ‘swiping factory’ aren’t as satisfying as they want you to believe.

You ‘match’. You chat and then you keep chatting until you’re tired of the nonsense.

But here is the backstory:

  1. You find out about twenty six other people they’re engaged with and all the texts they send you are copy-pasted.
  2. Their horny ass has been engaging with you only for your v-thing or amaze balls.
  3. They definitely aren’t the person you chatted with. It’s their dressing style or maybe their voice, their height or their atrocious grammar — something is just off.
  4.  He is perfect but apparently has commitment issues and now you don’t know what to do with your life anymore.

And don’t even get started with the norms of modern dating! If you text first, they have the upper hand. If you don’t have sensual photos uploaded, no one is interested. If you reply quickly, you’re desperate. If you reply late, you’re not playing hard to get. If you send three consecutive texts, you’re clingy. If you send one seven-lined text, you’re crazy. If you talk about feelings, you’re an emotional wreck. If you play it cool, you’re a playboy. If you’ve been chatting for a few weeks now, maybe you should meet. Or maybe you should wait for two more weeks. It’s been a few months, now is the time for sex or else he’ll start meeting that girl on Bumble who sent him pictures the day before.

There’s confusion, expectations, doubts, and most importantly the fear of never getting a text back. You never know if it was sarcastic or serious, sympathetic or counterfeit, priority or an option.

Agreed, these apps have thousands of options. In spite of so many options, people are taken for granted. With so much of competition, you text everyone but end up with no one. In fact, now you are left alone with more insecurities than before. Scared of always being ghosted, not being enough, never being loved in the ways we deserve to be —we are left in perplexity.

Love is supposed to be so much more than texting, sexting and blocking.

Agreed, a few people are living the aforementioned fairy tales of their lives with the one they met online and will hopefully have a ‘happily ever after’. But no one can actually guarantee that the virtual dating forms will ever be able to live up to the actual real process. Meeting someone for the first time,  getting to know them for real, their insecurities, their passions, their dreams, their flaws is exclusively raw and unfiltered. Everything is exhilarating and unpredictable.

But most of all, these are what these signs hate about the digital romance and end up sucking at it.

 

ARIES

They love intellectual topics. They are always up for debating— a swiper will most probably ghost you because they mistake your debates for arguments.

Aries loves compliments but they fail to distinguish between the genuine ones and the ones coming their way out of convention. Definitely lacking a major skill of online dating.

 

TAURUS

Taurus are pretty old school when it comes to the dating game and can’t be one of those people who just go from one relationship to another — modern dating is definitely not for them. Here, they literally have to go from person to person until they find the one and Taurus is not built for that.

 

GEMINI

Gemini people are seekers.  They want to have the best. They love to talk a lot. Deep, intellectual conversations keep them going — finding the best of the billions who texts you back and keeps you intrigued? Wish them luck.

 

CANCER

Cancers are sensual and peaceful creatures whose versions of hot night together consist of candles, intimacy and lots of cuddling afterwards. Sorry buddy!  Not your cup of tea. Swipers only hit and then quit. No cuddles. No candles.