Are you struggling to find your worth in a relationship? Are you wishing to be more valued by your partner? How to make your partner realize your worth?
If you want to make your partner realize your worth in his/her life, you are at the right place.
When we want to gain certain things, we might have to get a little dirty with our (harmless) tricks. And there’s nothing to feel guilty about it. Just make sure you are not using it too often.
These tricks will not only help you to make your partner realize your worth but also refocus your attention towards your own self-worth.
Related: 5 Clear Signs You Have Found The One In Your Life
Why in the first place are you getting devalued do you think?
If you’re considering a serious relationship with a person who does not value you for who you are, you are better off him/her. He/she should realize your worth without you having to apply manipulative techniques.
In case you are married, and separation is not an alternative, you should consider using these tricks to help regain your partner’s respect and love.
If things are not working even after this, you should ask yourself if he/she is worth your time and effort or not. You need to focus most of your attention on yourself in that case, to restore your self-value.
Warning: Don’t overdo any of these. Some of these might backfire.
Note: These tricks are not hardcore mind games, lies, or manipulative techniques. These are not to hamper your partner’s worth but simply teach you to raise your value so that your partner automatically holds you at a higher worth.
Let’s find out how to make your partner realize your worth.
7 Things You Can Do To Make Your Partner Realize Your Worth
1. Delay gratification
“Things will come slow and steady.”
We human beings are wired to value and appreciate things when we have to earn it. This is true in the case of men. Men love challenges and they love to sweat to win it. Something that comes easy does not appeal to people, more so to men.
Use this remarkable piece of information as gospel truth and guidance to hold your partner’s wandering attention.
Are you always there for your partner whenever they need you? Also when they don’t? Curb that a little bit.
You could do the following to stop showing up too often:
- Stop making your partner feel special too often. (by using phrases like, “I cannot do without you.”, “You are my everything.” etc.)
- Stop compromising your comfort and needs for your partner’s needs.
- Stop putting your partner before yourself.
- Decrease the number of compliments you give your partner.
The point here is for you to make your partner realize your worth and that your love, attention, and time is not granted to him/her. They have to literally work hard to win you over, every single day like it was in the beginning.
Once they change their mindset to start respecting you for who you are, you can go back to being the person you were. Reinforce them with praises and compliments when they start seeing your worth.
2. Triangulation
“Other people do see my worth.”
Yet again, here is little or no room for skeptics. Triangulation works like magic but when used too much can turn abusive, especially if your partner is ‘attention sensitive”.
Many researches show that we want what other people want; the dating world is no exception. All you have to do is make use of this finding. Your trick: Raise your worth in the eyes of other people of the opposite sex.
Alongside, let your partner know you are enjoying the attention they are bestowing on you.
Social comparison is a means by which we put value to ourselves. Now guess what? You have to apply this trick in a social situation, say at parties, gatherings, or some event.
Do not always stick to your partner, hold their hands and make them the center of your attention. This makes you look unavailable and boring for other people of the opposite sex.
Talk and laugh with other people of your opposite sex (avoid cheap flirting). This raises an alarm in your partner’s mind about his/her position, at that current moment.
Remember, you are very much in a committed relationship, but your job is to make your partner realize that he/she is not the only one in your life.
There are other people who see the spark in you and in fact are intrigued by you: they would love to do anything to have you in their lives.
Your intention here is NOT to make your partner feel insecure or cheat on your partner. That’s a double NO. Work towards making them realize your worth.
3. Exercise self-independency
“I survive on self-approval. The value you put on me is a cherry on the cake.”
How often do you think a person who is independent and on their own, ever needs the approval of others to function?
When you are deeply concerned about your life, I promise, you will naturally, effortlessly survive without your partner’s approval. In fact, your wanting to raise your own value in the eyes of your lover indicates how badly you need to work on your self-esteem.
There’s nothing worse than being dependent on your partner for anything and getting your expectations broken. Work on increasing self-reliance. Stop asking for your partner’s help by figuring out things by yourself.
Are you used to taking his/her advice? Stop that too. Your partner’s opinion might matter to you but don’t you think you can take your own decisions? Make your own choices.
This sends your partner a clear message that you can be on your own and does not need your partner’s assistance in everything you do.
Wield the power of being self-sufficient. You are independent and you know how to value yourself and realize your worth.
Related: Why Your Opinion Of Yourself Is The Only One That Matters
4. Curb your availability
“You there?” “Well, not always.”
If you want your partner to realize your worth, then remember this.
This trick is aligned to that of number 1. Curbing your availability is a trick to delay gratification.
Is your partner missing you too much at home? Did he text you? Tell him/her you have extra work at the office and can’t make it earlier instead of typing, “Here I am baby. Just off to you.”
- If you tend to be clingy, stop being so.
- Take time to reply to your partner if it’s not too urgent.
- Call them less often.
- Do not do things they are dependent on you for, like cooking for them, picking them up, or making their bed etc.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. The lesser your partner sees of you, the more he/she will wonder about you. This temporarily created space helps your partner to realize what your absence would mean to them.
5. Define your personal boundaries
Your personal boundaries with your partner define the health of your relationship. Setting a reasonable boundary ensures that your relationship is mutually respectful and caring in nature.
Your set personal boundary establishes guidelines of how other people can behave around you or how much you will allow them to cross those limits.
When your personal boundary is vague and tends to disintegrate with that of your partner’s personal boundary, you lose your sense of self. Compromising your principles will only provide your partner too seize the opportunity to take you for granted.
Make your boundaries less flexible, more well defined, and non-negotiable. This will surely turn your partner’s attention to your new boundaries. Start to say more ‘nos’ and less ‘yeses’.
Balance it well so that it does not look like ignorance. Stop obliging your partner for everything they ask for. This will make them realize your worth and importance.
6. Refocus on self
”If you don’t love yourself, nobody will. Not only that, you won’t be good at loving anyone else. Loving starts with the self.” – Wayne Dyer
The harsh truth is, you do not need to use tricks to make your partner realize your worth. And that is only possible when you have immense love and appreciation for yourself. If this self-love suffices, you will not need to hanker for your partner’s attention.
Retrospect and find moments when you have felt utter pride in yourself. Take a piece of paper, a pen and some spare time. Sit down and write the qualities in you, which you best like in yourself and the ones which bags you the most number of compliments, in decreasing order or goodness.
Stick it to the wall in a place where you can see it regularly. There, you have all your reasons to love yourself.
7. Reshuffle your priorities
How to make your partner realize your worth, you wonder?
Reshuffling your priorities will require you to initially know which priorities need to be kept in the beginning of the priority list. Your list should ideally include self in the very beginning – your health, your ‘me time, your hobbies, your work.
When you have prioritized yourself enough, only then can you extend yourself to prioritize others. And only then will your partner realize your worth.
If currently, you have forgotten self-care, restore back that focus on yourself. Give yourself time, pamper and love yourself.
Make it a point to stick to your priorities unless it’s an emergency situation. Do not uselessly compromise your priorities for your partner.
You cannot make another person realize your worth you (you can but through nasty lies and manipulation, which is better not sort after). But you sure can raise your own value.
Related: The Hidden Intimacy Killer Damaging Your Relationship
I absolutely go by what Stacey Charter said,
“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are – completely; the good and the bad – and make changes as YOU see fit – not because you think someone else wants you to be different.”
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