The Hidden Intimacy Killer Damaging Your Relationship


The Hidden Intimacy Killer Damaging Your Relationship

Relationships are fragile. You need to nurture it and care for it to make sure that intimacy remains intact long after the honeymoon phase is over. In this article we will discuss the hidden intimacy killers damaging a relationship.

We all love being in the honeymoon stage of a relationship. We’re eager to know more about each other, blissfully happy and excited about building our future together.

So what makes a relationship fall down? How can two people who were so in love, become verbally critical opponents who refuse to see the qualities of that person that first made them fall in love?

Regardless of your age, in the early stages of your relationship, you tend to focus on what you like about the person. You admire their strength, their character, their tenacity, and their smile. You’re focused on treating each other well. You both uplift, inspire and encourage the potential you see in each other. You notice their quirks and at first, they’re cute.

Then you start noticing their annoying habits, but you don’t want to rock the boat early on in the relationship so you don’t say anything in case it compromises the relationship.

You might hint at it from time to time, but don’t clearly communicate. Over time, resentment starts to build. This is because you have not clearly communicated the problem and your need for it to be resolved.

For most men and women, intimacy is a prerequisite for a healthy, happy and satisfying relationship. Lack of emotional intimacy leads to a lack of desire for sexual intimacy. When intimacy is lost, a relationship starts to quickly deteriorate.

Many relationships become out of balance because one partner puts all the effort into the relationship and the other becomes complacent.

While complacency is a definite relationship killer, inadequate communication will also do a great deal of damage because it undermines trust and the feeling of safety between two people.

Read 6 Sad Ways You End Up Ruining The Intimacy In Your Relationship

Communication Breakdown Destroys Intimacy

Communication Breakdown Destroys Intimacy
The Hidden Intimacy Killer Damaging Your Relationship

We all have our needs and it’s up to each individual to communicate them in an empowering manner. While some conversations can be difficult, you must be sure to remove blame.

Communication breakdowns occur when you don’t know how to clearly communicate your needs and therefore inadvertently make the other person feel blamed or accused. In the early stages of a relationship, you might kiss and make up, however, consistently placing blame or accusing your partner will incrementally undermine feelings of intimacy, trust, and connection.

Anger, hurt and frustration result from not feeling heard. They also result from not communicating clearly, not respecting each other’s needs and not being responsible for your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

While it may appear that your partner is responsible for triggering you, you are responsible for how you deal with that emotional trigger. To enable clear communication, you need to be able to respond rather than react. Otherwise, you will continue to regurgitate old arguments and unresolved issues and never get to the current issue which needs to be resolved.

Difficult conversations always trigger emotional responses. When you try to ignore the intense, physical sensations of emotional response you lose your ability to communicate clearly. This is due to the mental confusion that results from an unresolved emotional response. This is also what makes you mentally and verbally reactive to what the other person is saying.

Instead of those well-thought-out and calm observations you were going to share with your partner with regards to changes you require, you stumble over your words, appear confrontational and completely mess it up! This usually results in alienating your partner as well as increasing the emotional divide.

Read 12 Important Life Hacks To Improve Communication In Your Relationships

How to Restore Intimacy and Closeness in Your Relationship

Intimacy Killer Damaging Relationship
The Hidden Intimacy Killer Damaging Your Relationship

To be able to restore intimacy you need to take responsibility for how you are showing up in your relationship. It’s helpful to have a shared direction so you are both working toward what you want.

When you’re living with another person or sharing their space there needs to be compromised. We all have our own way of doing things. These can include ‘bad’ habits, which we would be willing to rectify once we know how important it is to our partner.

Just know that changing a habit will require a little (or a lot) of encouragement. Becoming annoyed can hinder the progress, so go easy on yourself and your partner. After all, when someone is being critical toward you, do you feel motivated to make changes? New habits can take some time to become a habit so positive reinforcement is often necessary.

Remember that you need to work as a team. This includes lifting each other up with your words. It’s easy to criticize someone for their errors and this leads to many emotional responses being triggered. The fastest way to get what you want is to inspire people with your own behavior, actions and words.

Read The One Thing Any Couple Can Do for Better Connection and Intimacy

While you can both be wise and apply the emotional reset when you’re triggered, how about also giving praise when your partner remembers to do something you appreciate? Like attracts like and life tends to bring you more of what you are focusing on.

Want to restore happy communication and intimacy with a partner? Gain more insights and schedule a strategy session with Jacqui here.

Written by Jacqui Olliver
Originally Appeared on Starts at 60

The Hidden Intimacy Killer Damaging Your Relationship
The Hidden Intimacy Killer Damaging Your Relationship

— Share —

— About the Author —

Up Next

Why Cameron Diaz Supports Separate Bedrooms For Couples: Is It Key To A Happier Marriage?

Separate Bedrooms For Couples: Strong Reasons Why

In a world where we are always sharing everything, Cameron Diaz has a fresh take on love: separate bedrooms for couples. Yes, you heard that right!

The actor has recently been in a conversation about how couples who sleep in separate beds are happier — and it’s got us questioning everything too.

Why Do We Need Separate Bedrooms For Couples?

You’re lying in bed, ready to drift off to sleep when you hear it… A chainsaw-like noise ringing through your ears. It’s your partner’s snoring — and it’s not the cute gentl

Up Next

What is Fatuous Love? 3 Key Factors Leading to Infatuation!

What is Fatuous Love? Key Factors Leading to Infatuation!

Have you ever felt that super strong crush where everything seems like a fairy tale? You know, the kind where you meet someone, feel a quick connection, and suddenly, it’s like you’ve found your perfect match.

According to experts, that is what is fatuous love all about!

It is like building a house on shaky ground. At first, what feels like love at first sight might not exactly be the case later. You dive in quickly without really taking the time to connect on a deeper level.

In this article, we’ll explore what fatuous love is all about. We’ll unravel the layers of this intense yet fleeting kind of love and understand why it might face some challenges along the way. 

Up Next

7 Qualities Of A Healthy Relationship

7 Qualities Of A Healthy Relationship: Foundations Of Love

In the world of connections, relationships are like cozy blankets made of feelings and shared moments. Just like caring for a garden, a good relationship needs attention to grow and make you happy. Think of it as a dance where two people move together smoothly, helped by a strong bridge of understanding. Let’s explore the 7 qualities of a healthy relationship.

In this discussion, we’ll explore the seven things that make a relationship strong and happy, like the simple notes in a beautiful tune of love and connection. So, are you ready to explore all the signs you are in a healthy relationship? Come on.


Up Next

Married To An Introverted Man? 9 Reasons They Make Exceptional Husbands

Married To An Introverted Man? reasons why it's a blessing

Are you married to an introverted man? Ever wondered about how he can be so unique and amazing as a husband? In a world that honors extroversion, it is crucial that we acknowledge the invaluable qualities that introverts offer in a marriage.

Today, we will explore some compelling reasons why introverts make great husbands and highlight some challenges that might arise in such marriages.

Whether you are an extrovert who wants to understand your quiet spouse better or if you are dating an introverted man, we are here to help you appreciate the joy of marrying an introverted man.

Do Introverts Make Good Husbands? 

Up Next

How To Date A Widower? Finding Love Again

Dating A Widower: Tips and the Red Flags You Can't Ignore!

Picking yourself up after losing a spouse is a traumatizing experience. Learning how to date a widower will allow you to provide a safe space for healing for the man you love and care for.  

If you’re thinking about dating a widower, it’s important to know how to handle things. It can be a tricky road to navigate, but can provide you with a loving and fulfilling relationship.

This article is here to help you out. We’ll give you some simple tips and advice that can make things easier for you.

How To Date A Widower? 

When it comes to dating a widower, it’s essential to approach the relationsh

Up Next

A List of High Standards in a Relationship: Non Negotiable Must-Haves You Shouldn’t Settle for

Big Standards: List of High Standards in a Relationship

When we talk about how we behave in relationships, we’re really talking about who we are deep down. Many people wonder what makes a good relationship tick, so we’ve put together a list of high standards in a relationship.

When pondering “what are standards in a relationship,” we are not referring to arbitrary rules but rather the essential principles that elevate your love to new heights. Stick with us as we go through what it takes to make a strong and healthy connection with someone special.

What are standards in a relationship?  

We each possess a unique threshold for behavior, traits, and values, below which we are unwilling to tolerate a partner. But here’s the fascinating paradox – while we all have these s

Up Next

Cold Feet Or Clear Signs? 8 Major Warning Signs You Are Marrying The Wrong Person

8 Warning Signs You Are Marrying The Wrong Person

Marriage is one of the most profound commitments one can make in a lifetime. The idea of spending the rest of your life with someone can be both exhilarating and terrifying. Most of us have a mental checklist of the qualities we want in our significant other, and often, we are vigilant for the obvious red flags: dishonesty, incompatibility, or a mismatch in values. But what about the more subtle signs you are marrying the wrong person? The uncommon warnings that lurk in the shadows, often overlooked?

It’s essential to pay attention to these because they can provide insight into potential pitfalls in the future. In your quest for lifelong happiness, it’s vital to ensure that you’re not just seeing what you want to see, but rather, you’re unders