Life After Divorce: Why You Must Start Over and Reinvent Yourself

 / 

Life After Divorce: Why You Must Start Over and Reinvent Yourself

It’s done! You’ve signed the papers and now you’re divorced. It may be heartbreaking for you or may be relieving. Or may be a bit of both. No one gets married thinking about getting divorced later. But now that it’s done, it’s time for you to reinvent yourself and build a new and better life.

Divorce is difficult, painful, heartbreaking and so many other unpleasant things.

It changes your lifestyle, your parenting, and even your sense of self. It can bring you lower than you’ve ever been before. Yet, if you’re determined and choose to be brave, rebuilding a life after divorce can be one of the best things you’ll ever do.

When you were married you changed.

Over time, all married couples do. They change in big ways and small ways. Some changes are great for the marriage and great for the spouse making them. Others are great for the marriage but hard on the individual.

Chances are you made big changes and small ones during your marriage. Some of those changes were probably good for you and some … not so much.

And it’s those changes that were hard on you that you can now examine as you’re contemplating rebuilding a life after divorce.

Now that you’re divorced, you have the freedom to adjust how you’re living. You don’t have to continue living as you did in your marriage. You don’t have to continue making the large and small compromises that felt as if you were giving away parts of yourself for the sake of your marriage.

Granted, this isn’t easy. The freedom may not feel great. It may actually feel scary and lonely because the relationship you built your life on is gone. But, remember, so are the uncomfortable constraints.

And without those constraints, now it’s your opinion that matters most. You’re the one you need to please. You’re the one you need to take care of.

This can feel like you have a lot of new responsibilities. And, truthfully, you probably do. But it’s because of these responsibilities and the freedom that accompanies divorce that you can create a new life for yourself.

Rebuilding a life after divorce is about pleasing and support you. It gives you the opportunity to rediscover the bits and pieces of yourself that you gave up or ignored for the sake of your marriage. It also gives you the space to discover new interests as you regain your sense of personal identity.

It’s when you begin looking at the positive possibilities ahead of you that you’ll be on the path toward turning the devastation of your divorce around.

When you start planning for your future, you’ll begin understanding how your divorce might be allowing you to finally start being you again – strong, confident, and happy. Even if you felt that way during your marriage, the new you, the post-divorce you can be even stronger, more confident and happier because you can now be true to yourself without compromise. – if you’re determined and courageous enough.

Becoming a better version of yourself after divorce takes determination and courage. You’ll be the one making the decisions about how you live and the experiences you want to have. Yet each and every decision you make has the potential to bring you closer and closer to living your best life. And having the power to be your best self is pretty amazing.

Is rebuilding a life after divorce easy? No. It will be one of the most difficult things you’ve ever done. But, when you make the effort and take the time to create a life you love, you’ll know that every tear you cried and every bead of sweat along the way was totally and completely worth it.


Written by Dr. Karen Finn
Originally appeared in Dr. Karen Finn

You may also like:

Life After Divorce: Why You Must Start Over and Reinvent Yourself

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

7 Reasons People Regret Divorce: Understanding The Post-Divorce Journey

Reasons People Regret Divorce: The Post-Divorce Journey

There are many people who feel like they got a new lease of life after getting divorced, but there are also people who end up regretting divorce. But, why do some people regret getting a divorce? This article is going to focus on some of the reasons people regret divorce and what goes through their minds.

KEY POINTS

While divorce can be a healthy option for some people, others might experience pain and regret.

It’s not uncommon to underestimate the effects that divorce will have in various areas of life.

Therapy, communication, and time can help heal the wounds.

Acc



Up Next

7 Emotions You May Feel When You Decide To Divorce

When You Decide To Divorce: Unexpected Emotions You Feel

Making the decision to divorce is one of the hardest decisions to make. When you decide to divorce your spouse, you may feel a ton of emotions that you did not expect at all. This article is going to talk about those feelings and emotions so that if ever you make the decision to divorce, you know what to expect.

KEY POINTS

The decision to divorce is a personal and deeply emotional experience.

There is a common misperception that the person who decides to divorce doesn’t suffer from the decision.

The emotional journey is unique to each individual, and there are no right or wrong ways to feel.



Up Next

10 Honest Reactions Of Children To Divorce

Honest Reactions Of Children To Divorce

When two people divorce, we think about how they might be feeling about the breakdown of their marriage. What about the reactions of children to divorce? How does a child cope with divorce? How do children react to divorce? Let’s find out!

When your children experience your divorce, their reactions will vary depending on their ages, personalities, family dynamics, and the circumstances of the divorce. Some children will experience immediate distress, while others may not show signs of distress until later. Some children internalize their emotions and appear more resilient than they are.

However, the biggest factor affecting their reactions is the level of conflict between you and your spouse. Even if your children don’t witness conflict, they can sense it, even in the way that you hug them.



Up Next

5 Ways To Reduce The Stigma Of Divorce

Stigma Of Divorce: Ways To Normalize Divorce

One of the worst parts of getting divorced is the stigma that comes with it; the social stigma of divorce is sometimes more painful than the actual divorce. That’s why it’s important to normalize divorce and reduce this stigma of divorce. This article is going to explore the best ways to cut back on the stigma of divorce.

KEY POINTS

The language in Western cultures around divorce reinforces the stigma of divorce.

Normalizing divorce can reduce the stigma and foster a more supportive environment for those going through it.

Divorce is often a difficult and emotional process, and offering support can make a significant difference.



Up Next

How To Date A Widower? Finding Love Again

Dating A Widower: Tips and the Red Flags You Can't Ignore!

Picking yourself up after losing a spouse is a traumatizing experience. Learning how to date a widower will allow you to provide a safe space for healing for the man you love and care for.  

If you’re thinking about dating a widower, it’s important to know how to handle things. It can be a tricky road to navigate, but can provide you with a loving and fulfilling relationship.

This article is here to help you out. We’ll give you some simple tips and advice that can make things easier for you.

How To Date A Widower? 

When it comes to dating a widower, it’s essential to approach the relationsh



Up Next

How To Get Over A Failed Marriage

How To Get Over A Failed Marriage: Nine Strategies For Healing

Is your marriage going down the drain? Do you feel heartbroken, lost and confused, with no apparent way to make things better with your spouse? Well, you can still heal yourself and move on. Let’s explore how to get over a failed marriage.

A Union of Blessings or Pain?

Marriage is often considered a sacred bond between two individuals, filled with love, companionship, and dreams of a shared future. It is a union bestowed with blessings, often from a higher power.

However, not all marriages have a fairy-tale ending. When a



Up Next

7 Common Lies About Life After Divorce You May Have Heard: Thriving After Divorce

Seven Common Lies About Life After Divorce You May Have Heard

When someone gets divorced, some people are really eager to feed them all sorts of lies about life after divorce. There are so many lies you may have heard about life after divorce. Even though life after divorce is not exactly easy, but it’s never as bad as it’s made out to be by most people. 

There are several lies you may have heard about what to expect from life after divorce. Life after divorce can be tough and emotionally painful no matter what the situation is. However, it can be a struggle or it can be a time of great healing and rewarding on so many levels.

You may find that you come to a crossroads after the divorce is fin