#4 – Having grand adventures.
One of the best parts of being alone, for me, was the opportunity to have amazing new life experiences, ones that were so different from those I had had during the time I was married.
I climbed Mt Katahdin in Maine and hiked for 15 days in Peru. I take my kids to the Caribbean every year for Christmas and have 5 glorious, cell phone free days with them.
I started dating and had amazing non-marriage sex and met a bunch of great guys, many of whom I am still friends with.
I sold my big house in Vermont and moved into a 200 sq foot apartment in NYC where every day was an adventure.
I was 46 years old and I was authentically living my life again. I felt truly alive and was getting to know myself in a way that I never had before. What a gift.
#5 – Finding true love.
I spent 6 years dating after my divorce. I enjoyed almost every date (but did walk out on one) and had many amazing boyfriends. One took me hiking in Moab. I road-tripped with one to Telluride and with another to help hurricane victims in Louisiana. I capsized a sailboat with one of my favorite guys on Lake Champlain and later test drove $80,000 Audis just for fun.
But, the best guy I met, on Match.com, was a person who has become one of my closest friends and the person who introduced me to the love of my life.
I was brutally unhappy in my marriage but determined to stick it out because I didn’t want to get divorced and, when it ended, I was devastated. But, if it hadn’t ended, I wouldn’t be living the glorious life that I am with a man who loves and values me, who doesn’t cause me little bits of pain every day, who I laugh and have adventures with and who knows who he is and loves who we are.
I want to assure you that, if you can let go of a love that isn’t serving you, you will find love again. I can also promise you that, if you stay with this person who is making you miserable, you definitely won’t.
I hope that my story has answered whether you can you let go of love and still find happiness.
I have this little game I play when standing in line at the grocery store. I look at the faces of the women in line and try to judge, based on their facial expressions, those women who are in an unhappy relationship and those who aren’t. It’s very easy to tell, believe it or not, especially now that I look in the mirror every day and know what a happy woman looks like.
So, believe that you can find happiness if you are strong enough to walk away from a relationship that isn’t serving you. I am living proof and you can be too!
Go for it!