Sometimes all you need is a partner with whom you can have fun, and hook up without any obligation or commitment that comes with an official relationship. A casual relationship is a great way to find the pleasures of life and it also helps you to explore yourself with a new person. But what happens when you start to develop feelings for them? Is it an ‘almost relationship’?
An almost relationship is one in which you’re dealing with someone you have feelings for but never dated and can be an extremely confusing yet emotional period, especially when it has a long-term impact on your outlook on love; you can’t just snap out of it. Have you had a similar experience? Well, me too.
However, all is not lost. If you’ve been affected by it you’re most likely to learn some valuable lessons from an almost relationship too.
10 Lessons You’ve Learned From an Almost Relationship
1. Just because someone kept pursuing you doesn’t mean they were looking for something serious.
It’s a simple theory, but accurate most of the time. If a guy wants to be with you, he won’t beat around the bush. He’ll be straightforward and tell you that he is ready to commit. And if he hasn’t brought it up yet, he’s most likely just keeping his options open until someone “better” comes along.
And if you still think that just because they are still pursuing you, they want to date you, then you are wrong. Some people are indecisive and act without much thought. There is no deeper meaning to their actions other than the fact that they are intrigued or somewhat taking an interest in you.
2. If someone likes you enough, they will either say it or show it.
Words mean nothing, but actions speak volumes. If all you got from him was talk and no action regarding what you mean to him he’s shown you precisely who he is, no matter what he told you.
You would not be left in suspense or wondering what would happen next. Both men and women understand how to win over someone they genuinely want to be with. So, if they like you, you’d have noticed it by now. You would no longer have to be puzzled and second-guess yourself.
3. Timing is important but it’s not a deal-breaker.
Sometimes two people have compatibility and chemistry, and you both want it to work, but no matter what you do or how hard you try, the outcome will not be what you expected.
Timing is important for how a relationship grows, but it is not a reason to end it if everything is going well and you are both interested in each other. If you both truly want to make it happen, there is always a way to make it work. Otherwise, timing is just another reason for them to avoid getting into a serious relationship with you.
4. Being honest early on could save you from getting hurt.
Even though they probably made you feel like you wanted more out of the situation and they were always open about their feelings and relationship goals, asking questions is one of the best things you can do to avoid getting hurt. If they can’t handle a simple conversation and communicate with you directly, it speaks volumes about their emotional stability and lack of maturity.
You could be living in your own fantasy if you don’t ask important questions like what the other person is truly looking for and whether they are interested in other people, apart from you.
You may be looking for a relationship, while the other person simply wants to ‘have fun.’ It’s always a good idea to know where you stand in this relationship.
5. Don’t let your emotions blind you.
Sometimes we refuse to let go of relationships because we are afraid of being alone. We are so used to them that the thought of letting go causes pain in the chest. However, when you feel a lot for them and they don’t reciprocate your feelings, it can be extremely painful, and emotionally unhealthy. Don’t let your emotions cloud your ability to see how someone is treating you.
If their actions do not match their words, you should accept that they may not be that invested in you. Don’t make excuses to justify their behavior, when you know you deserve better. It may be difficult, but one courageous step can save you a lot of time and most importantly, can save you from a broken heart.
6. You can’t force someone to be with you, just because you love them.
Even if you are the most understanding person on the planet, you cannot force a relationship on someone who doesn’t want you.
At the end of the day, no matter how great you are or how hard you try, you will never be able to change his mind. If it’s meant to be it will happen, trying to make things work won’t feel like a battle. And if he doesn’t want to be with you, don’t try to change yourself to have him in your life, because you will regret it later.
7. Sometimes you like the challenge, not the person.
Sometimes the idea of winning over someone emotionally unavailable keeps us stuck in an almost relationship, and other times it’s your ego telling you that you have to get what you want.
You’d rather be hurt than cut ties with someone who isn’t emotionally available to you. It’s exhausting to be in a one-sided relationship with someone who can’t support or love you in the way you deserve. You must decide whether you’re in this situation because you genuinely like the person or because you are addicted to the thrill of the chase.
8. If you want a relationship, you are going to have to stand up for what you want.
If you have certain expectations or want more from a relationship, you must ask them rather than accepting whatever they can give you. Holding on to false hope that you two will be something you’re not will make you resent them for something they never promised.
Set boundaries and refuse to settle for something you know in your heart isn’t right for you. And if you both don’t want the same things, it’s better to call it quits before it’s too late. It will save you time and you won’t have to dwell on how you weren’t good enough for them.
9. Waiting may not change the outcome.
If you’re waiting for someone to notice how amazing you are then you are probably just wasting your time in an almost relationship. If someone wants to be with you they will not keep you waiting without at least an explanation or perhaps some clarity. Learn to read between the lines of their actions, if they valued you, you would have known by now.
The next time someone doesn’t give you what you want, you’ll realize that it’s time to leave. If you want commitment, but they keep making excuses, save yourself the trouble and wait for someone who would be delighted to call you his girlfriend instead of just texting you in the middle of the night because they are bored.
10. You may not get closure.
Most relationships like these end without closure. You may never understand why things ended, but it just did. Was it you or was it them? So many questions answered. You’ll soon realize that the relationship ended abruptly because it was never defined in the first place. There was a lack of acknowledgment, explanations and closure as well.
Nothing feels real because you never really knew where you stood in the first place. Not only that but getting past the mental image of memories is the worst part of being in an almost relationship.
Even if it hurts today, just know that it will be okay tomorrow. It may hurt for a while, you will remember all the good times you had together, but you just need to give yourself some time to heal.
An almost relationship is a life lesson, and a risk worth taking. It wasn’t the happy ending you might have expected, but it was something that changed your life and made you see just how strong you really are.