You stayed up all night, talking endlessly when you weren’t making love. There was never a moment in which you weren’t transfixed by his way of looking at the world and it seemed as if it would last forever. You lived in a mutual world of constant discovery.
You remember the first night he told you the same joke. It seemed a little odd that he didn’t notice your laugh was a little strained. As time went by, he did and said so much you’d heard before.
As the repeated stories became increasingly stale, you tried hard to find reasons to excuse them. Maybe it was just career battle fatigue or secure familiarity that made him stop trying to keep you interested and challenged. You even playfully tried to help him see that he was getting a little too predictable, but it didn’t seem to help.
He acknowledges that you are happier exploring new options, but says he’s really fine the way he is.
6. Diminishing Nostalgia: You’ve abandoned your shared memories.
When times were a little hard in your past, she would always remind you how important it was to hold on to the things you loved about each other and the great memories from the past.
She would make you focus on the delicious moment when you first chose each other, and share those feelings as if they were happening in the moment.
Once, when there wasn’t enough money in your mutual bank account, she found that special book you loved as a child. You’ll never forget her funny, squeaky laugh when she found the puppy in the middle of the bed that you’d seen at the pound.
She knew you didn’t have a mom to nurse you when you were sick as a kid. At the slightest mention that something was not quite right, she’d immediately take care of you no matter what she had to let go of to do so.
She always made you feel that everything would be okay, even when the situation seemed irresolvable. Now, she doesn’t seem to want to go there anymore.
She’s only focused on what’s missing and why the future isn’t brighter. No matter what you do to lighten the moment, or to bring back nostalgia, she is all about the practical, how to just fix what’s wrong, and then get on with it.
You often find yourself alone in your sweet memories and unable to get her to experience them with you anymore. You still love each other enough but wonder how you’ll keep regenerating when things don’t go as planned if you can’t hold on to what was once sacred.
Even just one of these warning signs can signal a relationship that is in trouble.
Intensity, frequency, and duration are further dimensions. You may experience several of these behaviors simultaneously, but they happen rarely, last a short time, and are far apart.