Language such as “can’t”, “should/shouldn’t”, “ought to”, “have to”, etc. are indications that we have fallen into Victim, Perpetrator, or Rescuer mode. When you’re using words to conceal your true needs or desires, you’re in the Drama Triangle. The same thing goes when you’re withholding communication out of fear of others’ reactions.
In every moment, we have the choice to look for what’s working well or to focus on what’s missing or lacking. One thought pathway leads to freedom and personal responsibility; the other to a mindset of lack and blame.
The words you use will clue you into which way you’re headed.
3. You are responsible for guarding your own energy
You have a built-in guidance system that always lets you know when something or someone is negatively affecting your energy. This internal GPS speaks to you in the language of your emotions.
The moment you begin to feel stressed out, annoyed or defensive, give yourself permission to disengage. Your emotional guidance system will alert you as to whether you are heading down a path of empowerment or one of bondage.
Remember, the Drama Triangle is a manipulation dynamic that feeds on itself. If you don’t play the role you’re being assigned, you starve it of the fuel it needs to survive, leading you to the healthy relationship you deserve.
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