Choose Her Everyday Or Leave Her
Why the Small Ways We Abandon Each Other Matter
I spent 5 years hurting a good woman by staying with her but never fully choosing her.
I wanted to stay with her. I really wanted to choose her over everyone else. She was an exquisite woman, brilliant and funny, elegant and sensual. She could make my whole body shiver with her quick, dark wit and turned my world tipsy turvy with her exotic beauty. Waking up every morning with her snuggled in my arms felt like home. I fiercely loved her.
Unfortunately, a very common incident with youngsters, is our ignorance of how to do well in love created stressful conflicts in our relationship. Before long, my once blissful morning reverie gave way to the strained, hurtful ways of our everyday life together.
I frequently wondered if there was another woman out there who was easier to love, and who could love me better.
As the time passed and that thought reverberated through my mind, I chose her less and less. Every day, for five years, I chose her a little lesser that the previous day.
I stayed with her. I just didn’t choose her. And that killed us both.
Choosing her would have meant focusing on the beautiful gifts she was showering on me, without me asking for it. She would bring to me the life I would be grateful for. Her laughter, beauty, sensuality, playfulness, companionship and so much of her was inexplicable.