What Is The INFJ Door Slam And Its 4 Stages

the infj door slam and its stages

Stage #2

No matter how patient and empathetic an INFJ might be, after a point, they are bound to run out of understanding and second chances. When they see that no matter how much they are trying to help someone be better, but they refuse to introspect and self-reflect, INFJs gradually begin to feel bitter and indignant about them. INFJs start to see the manipulative games they are playing, but they will still try to help them stay on the right path and do the right thing.

The only difference is that their tolerance starts to ebb, and irritation and annoyance starts to simmer below the surface.

Stage #3

When things get too much for the INFJ to handle, the door slam happens. Maybe it’s one dialogue or sentence, or it’s simply something someone does that serves as the last nail on the coffin. Once someone pushes an INFJ over the edge, and they make up their minds that they are not worth their time and effort anymore, it’s over for good. They slam the door and never look back. Most of the time, the door slam is silent, but always merciless and brutal.

Stage #4

Once the INFJ door slam happens, interactions and conversations take a negative turn and get more savage. Patience is replaced by intolerance. Forgiveness is replaced by harshness. Empathy is replaced by indifference. And the interesting thing about all this is that they will never try to conceal their negative emotions anymore; whatever they feel, they will show it without thinking anymore about how the other person might feel. In this stage, INFJs will be irritated and angered by every little thing, and they will lash out whenever they feel like.

However, chances are unlikely that INFJs will ever directly confront someone, as they believe that arguments and fights are an utter waste of their time. They will simply behave indifferently and uncaringly and will continue to do so, no matter what.

INFJ Door Slam
INFJ Door Slam

Do INFJs Ever Re-Open The Door Again?

It completely depends on what and how the situation is. Sometimes INFJs might choose to re-open the door, sometimes they might not.

The only way an INFJ will re-open the door is when they are convinced that the other person won’t hurt them or break their heart again. The other person has to be genuinely sorry for the hurt they have caused the INFJ and should be ready to give the effort to make things right. Moreover, they need to realize and understand just how much they have hurt the INFJ, and how difficult it was for them to do the door slam.

Related: Which Stressors Put You Over The Edge Based On Your MBTI Personality Type

Once the INFJ truly believes that someone should be given a second chance and they deserve to be a part of their life again, it is only then that the healing process begins. Better boundaries, open and transparent communication, respect, honesty, loyalty, trust, and genuine efforts are the only things that can improve the situation, and help things go back to the way they were before.

How you treat an INFJ and what you say to them matters the most when it comes to understanding them better. INFJs are emotional, deep, and sometimes complex beings, which is why all they want is to be seen and heard. As long as you treat them with the respect they deserve, and there is integrity and stability in the relationship, they will be happy with you.

Most importantly, understand them and their emotions, and try to be as emotionally intelligent as you can, and you will never find yourself to be on the other side of the INFJ door slam.


the infj door slam and its stages pin slam
What Is The INFJ Door Slam And Its 4 Stages
the infj door slam and its stages pin
What Is The INFJ Door Slam And Its 4 Stages
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