How Happy and Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz

They do have the positive edge of memories and can use them to create new dreams for the future.

Whatever route is chosen, the partners in thriving relationships feel open to share whatever they might dream of without fear of invalidation.

1)     How often can you and your partner share abstract thoughts and fantasies? ____

2)     Do you feel that your partner is interested in your dreams? ____

3)     Can you welcome each other’s philosophical and emotional thoughts? ____

4)     Do you allow each other to explore possible dreams without shutting them down? ____

5)     Do you feel free to share whatever is on your wish list? ____

What is your total score? ____

 

Dimension Number Three – Trust

Hopefully, you and your partner are comfortable trusting each other with your innermost thoughts and feelings and can talk about almost anything without fear of rejection, embarrassment, or disdain.

You come to each other first when something is awry, and believe in your partner’s ability to listen and help.

Even when things seem okay, you still keep a running emotional and intellectual interaction going so that you are rarely surprised by something you don’t expect.

When new thoughts or feelings emerge, both of you are willing to put in whatever time it takes to get current and to try to understand and transform along with the other.

Trust is at the core of a healthy intimate relationship. You know that your partner is transparent, reliable, and accountable to what he or she promises.

You also can count on the fact that your partner will tell you up front if anything changes in the way he or she feels about you.

This dimension is where listening skills are the most important. Your goal is to refrain from being defensive, reactive, or threatened when your partner is distressed about the relationship, and you encourage them to open up.

When your first responses are compassion and encouragement, you will learn more about the deeper issues that may be under what is being said.

1)     Do you talk to your partner about important thoughts and feelings without fear of distress? ____

2)     When you are concerned about something important, do you feel your partner will listen deeply to your feelings? ____

3)     Can you count on your partner to be there when you need him or her? ____

4)     Do you consider your partner to be your closest friend? ____

5)     Do you trust your partner to hold your inner thoughts and feelings sacred? ____

What is your total score? ____

 

Dimension Number Four – Working as a Team

All intimate partners must work together to solve life’s challenges and problems if they want to stay closely connected.

Each knows that they both will do their parts as team members for whatever is being asked. They also willingly take over if the other has a legitimate need to temporarily pull out, trusting that the partnership obligations will even out over time.

Some couples decide what their individual roles as team members will be in advance, while others prefer to exchange many of their roles as they see fit at the time, or do more of them together.

In any case, you both feel confident that you can work out disagreements while keeping your mutual goals in mind.

You rely on each other without concern that either will not do what he or she has committed to do.

1)     When there is a job to be done, can you count on your partner to do his or her part? ____

2)     Do you believe your partner comes through with his or her promises? ____

3)     Can you trust your partner to let you know if he or she cannot complete their promised commitment? ____

4)     Do you feel comfortable with the distribution of responsibility and effort when you work together? ____

5)     Can you talk things over when you disagree and come to better solutions? ____

What is your total score? ____

 

Dimension Number Five – Successful Debaters

Arguments in intimate relationships create cumulative stress for both partners. They are usually only resolved when one partner gives in to another, creating resentment and defeat.

Partners who want to turn their conflicts into optimum solutions want to find answers that will make both of them as happy as possible.

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Dr. Randi Guntherhttp://www.randigunther.com/
In her 40-year-career as a clinical psychologist and marriage counselor, She Had Spent Over 100,000 face-to-face hours with singles and couples helping them to sort out their desires and conflicts about intimate relationships. She Had explored all the reasons why their relationships so often start out euphoric only to crumble and how they can turn those disappointments into future successes. She truly believe that the greatest obstacles standing between you and the love you want is often right before your eyes but you are unable to envision the journey. Her specialty is to help you look at yourself and your relationships with heroic honesty and the willingness to look deeply at yourself and what you bring to a relationship so that you can finally create the kind of transformation that will change you forever. You'll finally understand why you've struggled in love, and what skills you'll need to create the kind of relationship you've always wanted - one in which you fall deeper in love while simultaneously scaling the heights of your individual potential. It's how her husband and She have made their marriage their bedrock for over 60 years. Subscribe to her free advice newsletter at www.heroiclove.com where she'll tell you everything she has learned about finding and keeping a truly heroic relationship.
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