Find out the signs of happy and healthy relationship.
Regardless of how long intimate partners have been together, they can always benefit from talking over how they currently feel about each other and their relationship.
Setting aside time to do a regular check-in can forestall potential problems and create proactive solutions.
There are many ways for a committed couple to evaluate how they’re doing, but there are seven dimensions of an intimate relationship that are both easy to recognize and to use as a starting point.
They are not meant to replace the areas that may be more unique to a particular relationship, but they can serve as a good beginning to your inquiry.
The seven dimensions are presented below. After reading the following descriptions of each of them, take the simple test after each one to see how you’re both doing in that area.
Have your partner do the same, and then compare your answers and see how your close your scores are to each other.
Whether your scores are the same or different, you can use that information to learn more about how each of you views your relationship, and what thoughts and feelings may be behind those evaluations.
You can compare your current scores with how they may have been when you first fell in love, and also use them to determine if you’d like to make changes in the future, and in which of the seven areas you would need to address.
Answer the questions at the end of each dimension section according to this guide:
Never – 0
Rarely – 1
Sometimes – 2
Often – 3
Regularly – 4
A score of 15 to 20 means your relationship is thriving in that dimension.
A score of 10 to 15 means you should reevaluate your relationship and work on enhancing that part of your life together.
A score of fewer than 10 means you need to challenge where you are in that part of your relationship and how you can heal that rift.
Dimension Number One – Playing Together
There is no better way to evaluate a relationship than to ask the partners when they remember laughing hard together.
Humor and playfulness are part of every healthy relationship and are plentiful at the beginning of most. Whether play time is spontaneous or planned, it is better if it is regenerating, light-hearted, and fun.
Play time means that you are both doing something you mutually love to do at times when you both want to do it. It also requires that you are not carrying the past or future worries and that you set your burdensome responsibilities aside.
When partners play well together, they feel more light-hearted and closer. It is the way couples become magical children for each other in those moments where time doesn’t matter.
1) How often do you and your partner truly enjoy the same experience? ____
2) How often do you and your partner do something impulsive and fun? ____
3) Can you and your partner leave your burdens behind when you play together? ____
4) Are you able to get each other laughing hard? ____
5) Do you find yourselves amused in the same situations? ____
What is your total score? ____
Dimension Number Two – Sharing Dreams
Throughout a relationship, you and your partner should be able to explore what you feel about things that you feel are not part of your everyday lives.
That can be as simple as talking about movies and books and imagining yourselves in those roles. Or, you can dream about what you might do if sudden good luck were to fall upon you.
More concrete ideals, such as where you might travel to or even where you will live when you’re older, are ways you can explore possible dreams together.
Investigating those possibilities can take you to more new imagined adventures, like talking about what you would like to change about yourself, or what you’d love to learn.
These special shared thoughts, even if they seem out of the realm of current possibilities, will expand your knowledge of each other’s inner worlds.
New couples often talk about dreams because their relationship is ahead of them. More established couples tend to forget to open each other up to new possibilities.