There is nothing wrong to take things slowly and oftentimes women find themselves wanting to be in a committed relationship. Often they are not surprised by the confession of being perplexed by their man by the topic of commitment and sometimes prepared themselves for the inevitable question of “why labels”.
In this article, we talk about why a man can get weary of the idea of commitment and how to get the guy to commit to you.
One of the best and most powerful parts of being in love is simply being around someone who gets you. And it’s this simple truth that we lose sight of when we’re more focused on the destination with someone instead of the journey.
What do I mean?
The journey is enjoying the person you’re with in this moment, as your time with them unfolds.
It’s the mundane, day-to-day things like how you’re going to spend the next 1,560 Wednesday dinners. It’s the part where you laugh, tease each other and connect.
When people focus on the destination, they worry about window dressing things like marriage.
Hold on. Wait up. I’m saying marriage is window dressing?
Yeah. I am.
Because focusing on marriage first is like focusing on the exterior packaging when the product inside isn’t fully formed. The intention behind wanting to lock someone down into marriage is ownership.
If you’re saying to yourself, “whoa there, love coach. You’re shitting on everything I’m working toward with this ‘getting married and living happily ever after’ thing here, so STFU.” I don’t blame you.
But here’s the thing.
If you’re focused on the destination and not the journey, you won’t make it to your destination. Because the real joy of a relationship is in the journey. It’s in those everyday moments spent with someone.
Let’s zoom out and put this into perspective.
All relationships end. All of them. Even the one with who you feel is you and your fleshy appendages that currently house it.
So what are you focusing on when you focus on marriage as a goal?
You’re focused on ownership.
And when you focus on ownership first, you’ll crush what you really love about someone without meaning to. Because no one really wants to be owned. In fact, masculine energy in particular is all about freedom.
The other day a lovely reader emailed me to ask why men are afraid of commitment. It’s not that men are “afraid” of commitment— which is a myth.
Men are actually quite great at commitment– after all, you can’t go halfway when you’re committing to killing that wild boar for dinner. Or the modern version– acing that promotion to bring home more bacon.
What men aren’t excited about is the idea of making a bad deal. And you shouldn’t be either.