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How to Find a Sense of Belonging When You’re Isolated

Find Sense of Belonging When Youre Isolated

What is sense of belonging? As you get to know the need to belong, you will try to find yourself to be affiliated with and be recognized by a group of people. This is sense of belonging.

When you know your worth within a group of members, or you strive to adapt to changes according to the surroundings then you find out the true meaning of sense of belonging.

How do we find a sense of belonging in a world full of increasing loneliness due to social media, crumbling social and religious institutions that no longer meet our needs, and a society plagued by spontaneous pandemics that cause us to go into isolation?

That’s the big kahuna of questions here.

With research showing that depression, anxiety, and loneliness are on the rise, what can we do to take care of ourselves mentally, emotionally, and spiritually?

How can we find a home within this vast and oftentimes chaotic, world?

What Does it Mean to Have a “Sense of Belonging”?

Having an authentic sense of belonging means feeling a kinship, connectedness, and closeness to (typically) a group of people. This group might be a friendship group, a family, a spiritual or religious organization, a sports team, your town, your country, or the world in general.

When you feel a true sense of belonging, you feel comfortable simply being yourself and there is a mirrored sense of respect, acceptance, and empathy between you and those around you.

The Necessity of Being Connected To Someone

We long to belong, and belonging and caring anchors our sense of place in the universe.
– Patricia Churchland

Although this website is about helping you to be a lone wolf and walk your own unique path by listening to your Soul, that doesn’t mean that there’s no room for connection.

We all need both connectedness and aloneness. We need to learn, as a species, how to be both alone and together.

Experience the feeling of being connected and find out true sense of belonging.
Why it is hard to find the sense of belongingness? Because we are vulnerable

As a species, we’re primarily social creatures having evolved from the great apes who are tremendously social and have complex interpersonal relationships.

Through the ages, many sociologists, scientists, and mental health professionals have observed how crucial connection is for our wellbeing. Famous psychologist Abraham Maslow, for instance, defined love and belonging as one of the main five human needs in his well-known Hierarchy of Needs theory.

The fact is that being connected to others helps us in a multitude of ways. In the words of the Canadian Mental Health Association:

“Social connection can lower anxiety and depression, help us regulate our emotions, lead to higher self-esteem and empathy, and actually improve our immune systems.”

But why is staying connected and finding a sense of belonging in this modern world so.damn.hard? Why do so many of us struggle with feeling alone and disconnected?

7 Surprising Reasons Why Finding True Connection is So Hard

If there’s anyone ‘qualified’ to talk about trying to find a sense of belonging, it’s me. I can 100% understand why finding a true connection can be devastatingly hard.

I grew up in a family and religious environment in which I felt like an outsider from infancy (holla if you’re part of the black sheep of the family club!).

Throughout my adult life, after breaking free of my childhood limitations, I came across new struggles: mental illness, unresolved childhood trauma, and geographical limitations that made connecting with others super difficult (I live in one of the most isolated cities in the world, Perth).

So I’ve experienced some pretty deep loneliness, inner emptiness, and chronic disconnection from others.

Perhaps you can relate?

Were you born into a family where you couldn’t connect with anyone in any meaningful way? Maybe you have different neurochemistry/wiring that makes it hard to bridge that seemingly solid gap? Perhaps you have a chronic health condition that makes finding a sense of belonging tricky.

While many of us tend to point our fingers at the people and world around us, declaring that it’s their fault, not ours, that we can’t connect, I’d beg to differ.

It’s not your fault, it’s not their fault, it is what it is – this is just how the situation has evolved.

There’s no need for blame here because it is useless. Blame doesn’t solve our problems. Blame is wasted energy.

So instead, let’s get curious. Let’s examine some of the surprising reasons why finding true connection can be so hard. Some of the main reasons are the following:

1. Unprocessed childhood trauma

2. Unconscious conditioning from our capitalist society to place more value on buying and consuming rather than relating and connecting

3. Believing the mental story that you’re “unworthy of love

4. Believing the mental story that you’ll “never be able to connect with others” (which dictates your behavior and turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy)

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Aletheia Luna

Aletheia Luna is an influential spiritual writer whose work has changed the lives of thousands of people worldwide. After escaping the religious sect she was raised in, Luna experienced a profound existential crisis that led to her spiritual awakening. As a spiritual counselor and professional writer, Luna's mission is to help others become conscious of their entrapment and find joy, empowerment, and liberation in any circumstance. See more of her work at lonerwolf.comView Author posts

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