Why Are We So Fearful Of Finding Our Purpose

Why Are we so fearful of finding purpose

Finding your purpose in life sounds very exciting and meaningful, and even though it is important for living a full life, the truth is most people are fearful and cautious of actually finding it.

Some people lead a two-mountain-shaped life, as Peter Brooks describes it in his article on the perils of moral meritocracy. First, they go through the motions of graduating from school, beginning a career, starting a family. They want to become successful in ways society sanctifies and conditioned them to pursue. They want to earn a lot, buy a home, raise a family, and be happy by achieving all this. This is the first mountain they are eager to climb. Nothing wrong with that, unless your focus stops there.

These hustling years are powerfully shaped by our individualistic and meritocratic culture. People wrapped up in their own egos operate under the assumption that happiness and fulfillment come only from achieving such goals as excellence, losing weight, or following certain self-improvement techniques.

Related: 7 Ways To Find Your Purpose in Life

This phase can go on forever or it can end suddenly due to an unexpected event that’s completely out of your control. In the lives of the so-called second-mountain people, something happened that interrupted the pre-planned, linear existence they had imagined for themselves based on what society instilled into their heads. The force of this external event exposed the problem with living only according to individualistic, meritocratic values.

This awakening for some happens when they have achieved success and found it unsatisfying. They realized there must be more to life. They figured they needed a higher purpose. Others failed. They lost their job, got financially destroyed, or endured some tragedies. They had a cancer scare or suffered the loss of a child. These tragedies made the first-mountain victories seem not so important. They have understood that life is about how we deal with moments of great adversity.

finding your purpose
Finding your purpose

Some people are crushed by these events. Others realize that as one door closes another opens. Those who wake up often change their lives radically at this point. They quit corporate jobs and teach elementary school. They dedicate themselves to some social or political cause. Paradoxically, this is exactly why many people are deeply afraid of figuring out their purpose in life.

They fear it will require them to completely change their lives which inevitably leads to the manifestation of their worst fears. Hence, they keep themselves from asking the deeper question about the meaning of their work and existence. It is either the first or the second mountain for them.

If the first mountain is about building up the ego and defining the self, the second is about belonging to a larger system or community. If the first mountain is about acquisition, the second is about contribution. But what if instead of the mountain analogy we imagine it as a balance scale with ego and soul being on the two plates?

We are constantly toggling between these two states: feeding the ego vs. feeding the soul. Total balance is, of course, an illusion but we can strive to have a purpose so that we can impact the people and the world around us in a positive way while also achieving our goals.

Related: How To Answer Your Calling And Find Your Life Purpose

In the case of organizations, some people are there only to serve their individual self-interests — and draw a salary. Others find meaning in their work and set an intention to make a positive difference in the lives of others. Some organizations even expect that you commit to a shared cause and change your allegiance from your ego to what we call the “Soul” of the organization.

We don’t treat one another well. And the truth is that many years of a hyper-individualistic first-mountain ego culture have weakened the bonds between people. Focusing solely on the ego and how to succeed at all costs lead to crippling tribalism, disconnection, and spiritual and moral crises.

But people striving to create a balance between feeding their egos and feeding their souls can blaze the trail for forming new kinds of communities based on a higher purpose and meaningful relationships instead of hatred, fragmentation, and tribalism.

If you want to explore how to use the unique Success MindsetMaps coaching tool for yourself or your clients please check out the upcoming MindsetMaps Coach training on this link.


Written By Mickey A. Feher
Originally Appeared On Psychology Today
Why Are we so fearful of finding purpose PIN

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *



Up Next

Feeling Alone In The Season of Togetherness? 5 Tips To Cope With Loneliness On Holidays

Feeling Loneliness On Holidays? Tips To Brighten Your Days

Winter celebrations like Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa are all about having fun with friends and family. But sometimes, even with all the happiness around, you might get the feeling of loneliness on holidays.

If you’re dealing with bouts of loneliness, it’s important to know that you’re not the only one, and there are ways to deal with it. Dealing with long-lasting loneliness might need some special help. But there are also simple things you can do when you’re feeling lonely during the holidays.

This guide is here to help you understand and handle holiday loneliness. We’ll give you easy tips to feel better and enjoy the festive season more. Let’s beat those holiday blues together with simple steps and support. Happy holidays!



Up Next

How To Use Binaural Beats To Let Go of Fear, Pain, And Overthinking

How To Use Binaural Beats? Best Binaural Beats Benefits

Ever wondered how to use binaural beats correctly? Find the best ways to heal, relieve fear, pain, and excessive thinking. Your journey begins here!

There are a stunningly vast array of benefits you can experience from listening to binaural beats – a fascinating form of soundwave therapy.

When one of America’s most famous living philosophers, Ken Wilber, was asked what the average person could do to raise their consciousness, he replied:

There’s already a technology that can be used to raise human consciousness. It’s called binaural beats.



Up Next

How To Live In The Moment And Be Happy: 15 Strategies For Embracing The Present

How To Live In The Moment And Be Happy: Strategies

Do you ever find yourself caught up in the whirlwind of life, constantly worrying about the past or stressing about the future? But what if I told you that the key to true happiness lies in embracing the present moment? Let’s find out how to live in the moment and be happy.

Today most of us struggle with stress, anxiety and depression as we struggle to face the increasing challenges of the fast-paced world. This not only robs us of our inner joy but also keeps us from being truly happy.

So let’s explore the art of living in the moment and uncover practical strategies to cultivate happiness in our everyday lives. Let us embark on this enlightening journey together and discover the true joy that comes from being fully present.



Up Next

Becoming a Social Butterfly: A 5-Step Guide to Cultivating Popularity

Social Butterfly Meaning: Step Guide to Being Popular

Have you ever wondered how your friend becomes the life of the party? Ever wanted to effortlessly make connections like them? Learning the social butterfly meaning can be your secret to forging similar connections. 

In today’s world, being a social butterfly can make a significant difference. Struggling to connect in a room full of people can negatively impact both your professional and personal life.

That’s where learning how to become a social butterfly can be your beacon of hope!  

Social Butterfly Meaning

A “social butterfly” refers to someone who effortlessly thrives in social setti



Up Next

What Is Self Reflection? 9 Helpful Tips To Understand Yourself Better

What Is Self Reflection? Helpful Tips For Self-Examination

Ever found yourself pondering over your thoughts, actions, and experiences? Have you ever taken a step back to examine your emotions, motivations, and personal growth? These moments of introspection and self-analysis are crucial for personal growth. Let’s explore what is self reflection in psychology and learn some self reflection tips.

What is Self Reflection in Psychology?

Self-reflection, in the realm of psychology, is a process of introspection where individuals examine their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors with a conscious and objective perspective. 

It involves lookin



Up Next

How To Stop Feeling Disconnected From Life? 7 Healing Ways

How To Stop Feeling Disconnected From Life? Best Ways

Ever find yourself in a funk, feeling disconnected and sad? Fear not! Discover seven healing ways to shake off the blues and reconnect with yourself!

You feel disconnected right now, perhaps even a little sad or lonely – or even like no one really cares about you or sees you fully.

Accompanying feeling disconnected, you might feel lost in life, like you’re aimless, bored, unhappy, restless, and have no direction.

In essence, you feel like a tiny island drifting in the middle of a big ocean, cut off from all signs of life for miles.

How do I know this? I’ve experien



Up Next

What Is Existential Intelligence And 9 Ways To Develop It

What Is Existential Intelligence: Ways To Develop It

Have you ever pondered the deeper meaning of life? Contemplated your purpose and the existence of the universe? These existential questions lie at the core of our human experience. Let is dive in the driving force behind these question and find out what is existential intelligence?

Join us as we delve into the fascinating realm of existential intelligence, understanding the characteristics of existential intelligence and discovering activities for existential intelligence. So, let’s embark on a journey of self-discovery and unravel the mysteries of our existence!

What is Existential Intelligence?

Existential