For instance, if your man asks you to dress up for him, perhaps put your hair up and dress like a high-powered executive, or even that you wear some sexy yoga gear while you walk around the house, you may be concerned that he’s dressing you as someone that he “actually” wants to sleep with or is having an affair/fantasies of cheating with, but this often isn’t the case.
If he’s comfortable enough to ask you to do special sexy things with him, then you’re doing something right! By going along with the fantasy (only if you’re OK with what he wants) you have his attention, trust, and sexual energy.
Jealousy will only ruin this bond.
3. You’re not actually listening when he speaks to you.
Women like to think that they’re great communicators in relationships, but good communication starts with good listening. Many men I met with as an escort didn’t feel that the women in their lives were good listeners at all.
As a woman, you may tend to personalize (or makeup stories about) what men share instead of just listening. You may think if he wants you to participate in a certain activity, then it must mean you aren’t good enough as you are.
If you can take that “it’s all about me” mindset and put it aside, you can learn a lot about your man in every way — not just sexually.
One way to open the lines to deeper communication right away is to admit when you feel jealous without blaming him for how you feel.
Try something like, “When you talk about me dressing up like a businesswoman, I couldn’t help but think you wanted me to dress like someone you’re attracted to at work. As silly as it might sound to you, I felt so jealous!”
Don’t worry about being right or wrong or look for comfort from him. Instead, state your feelings without accusation or looking for him to fix or justify what he said.
You can then start to focus on enjoying that he shared something he finds arousing with you. Whether you agree to his fantasy or not, he’ll feel connected to you because you allowed him to be open without judging him.
Don’t let miscommunications and worries about cheating drive a wedge between the two of you. Although super simple, these potent methods can help you find your peace, keep your power, and bring your man that much closer.
Written by Mary Eriksen Originally appeared in Yourtango