The situations and people that hurt you, can change and remove you from your real self: a strong, courageous and free human being who deserves to be happy.
Of course, we all know that is not easy to get away from something emotionally damaging overnight. When we want to get away from something, usually referring to a physical threat – a knife or a dark and secluded alley, our brain is programmed in a sense to immediately recognize such threats and to promote the reaction: attack or retreat.
However, there is one thing I think we all agree: we cannot recognize as easily all the harmful situations and may be even more difficult to convince ourselves that we need to get away from these. What should we do in this case? What happens when, for example, the person who hurts you is a family member or your partner?
The people who hurt you, don’t deserve you
“People who hurt you, do not deserve you.” You know deep inside that the person that damages your self-esteem and does not respect you, does not really loves you. How do you let yourself to accept this? And how should we react?
People who hurt others, are only interested in themselves
Referring to people who hurt others, probably the first thing you think of is physical violence. Yes, unfortunately it is a sad part of life. This kind of violence persists and does not calculate borders, culture or class. There are people who are empty of feelings or unable to create relations based on mutual respect.
People who are in a relationship and always put a priority on their own needs are also very destructive. Self-interest and the inability to create a bond through the understanding, trust and respect are characteristics that without any doubt can cause serious damage over time.
The words can be devastating
Sometimes it is not just what you say – but mostly the way you say it. Using a disrespecting tone, yelling and being sarcastic affects your self-esteem.
When a child grows up in an ugly environment with miscommunication, it can be devastating, undermining the self-esteem and sense of security of the child.
The way a person reacts to a relationship, the tone of voice and the way of thinking can reveal much about someone.
Learn to protect yourself from anything hurtful and from people who make you suffer
The real problem, which we mentioned above, is that people usually react to physical threats and not on emotional or social menaces that threaten their self-esteem.
Usually the people that cause damage, are family members or friendly faces. What can you do if a parent, partner or your best friend are disrespectful or hurt you emotionally?
Don’t be afraid to set limits and say ‘ No ‘ to certain things you don’t like or hurt you.
“No” is not some selfish word. Is the way you define your personality with respect, to inform people around you that they have to take account of your views and that some things hurt you.
It is very important after this statement the other person to respond. If you realize that nothing has changed and that they continue to behave the same way, then it’s time to make a decision: a person who hurts you, does not worth you.
You should understand that it is impossible to make everyone happy. Trying all the time to make happy all the people who are in your life is a goal that will make you unhappy.
In life, you should be able to set priorities and the first priority will have to be you. If you love and respect yourself, you will not allow others to hurt you. The most important relationships you will need to establish are the ones that will allow you to be yourself and show love, respect and understanding.