Don’t waste your time on people who hurt you

 June 26, 2016

The situations and people that hurt you, can change and remove you from your real self: a strong, courageous and free human being who deserves to be happy.

Of course, we all know that is not easy to get away from something emotionally damaging overnight. When we want to get away from something, usually referring to a physical threat – a knife or a dark and secluded alley, our brain is programmed in a sense to immediately recognize such threats and to promote the reaction: attack or retreat.

However, there is one thing I think we all agree: we cannot recognize as easily all the harmful situations and may be even more difficult to convince ourselves that we need to get away from these. What should we do in this case? What happens when, for example, the person who hurts you is a family member or your partner?

 

The people who hurt you, don’t deserve you

“People who hurt you, do not deserve you.” You know deep inside that the person that damages your self-esteem and does not respect you, does not really loves you. How do you let yourself to accept this? And how should we react?

 

People who hurt others, are only interested in themselves

Referring to people who hurt others, probably the first thing you think of is physical violence. Yes, unfortunately it is a sad part of life. This kind of violence persists and does not calculate borders, culture or class. There are people who are empty of feelings or unable to create relations based on mutual respect.

People who are in a relationship and always put a priority on their own needs are also very destructive. Self-interest and the inability to create a bond through the understanding, trust and respect are characteristics that without any doubt can cause serious damage over time.

 

The words can be devastating

Sometimes it is not just what you say – but mostly the way you say it. Using a disrespecting tone, yelling and being sarcastic affects your self-esteem.

When a child grows up in an ugly environment with miscommunication, it can be devastating, undermining the self-esteem and sense of security of the child.

The way a person reacts to a relationship, the tone of voice and the way of thinking can reveal much about someone.

 

Learn to protect yourself from anything hurtful and from people who make you suffer

The real problem, which we mentioned above, is that people usually react to physical threats and not on emotional or social menaces that threaten their self-esteem.
Usually the people that cause damage, are family members or friendly faces. What can you do if a parent, partner or your best friend are disrespectful or hurt you emotionally?

Don’t be afraid to set limits and say ‘ No ‘ to certain things you don’t like or hurt you.

“No” is not some selfish word. Is the way you define your personality with respect, to inform people around you that they have to take account of your views and that some things hurt you.

5 comments on “Don’t waste your time on people who hurt you

  1. The pain we experience in our minds and hearts is karmic and must be endured or karmically negated before so that part of the Ego can be destroyed to reveal another attribute of the soul. Duality is about misperception of pain and pleasure. When you obtain vairagya through viveka then nothing is seen as good or bad because it is all part of experience of the revelation of soul toward Spirit. Most people do not cancel their karma so they have to live through it.

  2. “There’s one sad truth in life I’ve found while journeying east & west . The only folks we really wound are those we love the best .
    We flatter those we scarcely know , We please the fleeting guest , & deal full many a thoughtless blow to those who love us best . ”
    Ela Wheeler Wilcox ♡

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