4. Duhkha or Suffering
According to the 4 Noble Truths of Buddhism, suffering is inevitable for all living beings. We must not try to avoid pain or sadness, rather change our attitude towards them and embrace these undesirable experiences of life as necessary lessons. The same goes for our relationships. Every relationship is bound to go through pain, sadness, loss, or some kind of misery sooner or later. If we let go of our expectations of an ideal outcome and accept the reality as it is, it will be easier for us to have a strong and secure relationship, free of emotional baggage.
Read: Arya Satyas: The Four Noble Truths of Dharma
5. Upadana or Attachment
When we attach ourselves to a person, a desire, or an idea, we refuse to accept the situation or the individual in their authentic truth and cling to an illusion that brings us nothing but shattered dreams and disappointment. This is why Buddhism encourages us to practice detachment in our relationships. Only when we will cut ourselves free from our desires and expectations, we can love others truly and selflessly.
6. Anicca or Impermanence
According to the Buddhist Theory of Momentariness, existence is temporary and everything, including humans, is in a constant state of change. If we ingrain this realization, our eyes will open to a greater truth that what we are feeling right now will cease to exist the next moment. It is therefore futile to hang on to disagreements and fights. Our emotions are temporary so we better not say or do anything that might have a long-lasting effect on our relationships.
7. Shoshin or The Beginner’s Mind
To have a beginner’s mind is imperative to have a long-term romantic relationship. A beginner’s mind is essentially free from past baggage of experiences. Sporting this sort of attitude makes us enthusiastic about our relationships. We find ourselves to be eager to know and explore more instead of comparing our relationships with their past versions and what they used to be. If we can be open and acceptable of the present truth of our relationships and stop scrutinizing them, we will be able to stop setting them up for failure.
Read: The Eight Worldly Dharmas and How They Block Our Spiritual Progress
Acceptance and Love Are The Keys To A Better Relationship
To summarize the unlikely paradigm between Buddhism and romantic relationships, we can say that a healthy love life needs unconditional acceptance. If you can accept the current truth of your significant other and still love them without judgment or expectation, you two are bound to have a strong and healthy relationship.
