An Open Letter To Anyone Who Doesn’t Feel Like Themselves Anymore

An Open Letter To Anyone Who Doesn't Feel Like Themselves Anymore


Do you look into the mirror every day and ask yourself, ‘Do I know me?’

It’s been quite a few months you have been feeling that you are not being yourself; that whoever you know is not your true self. It might have been such that something or someone changed you. But is it really worth it? Are you happy with the person you are now? Do you enjoy being the person you are now?

Think again.

You know you are not the same person anymore. You have not been able to accept the change in yourself. It’s something you were forced to embrace.

You feel lost and your past is gone forever. You crave to get back your past self but you are shackled and somehow, you cannot break away from it.

Do you remember how jubilant you were before? How excited were you to meet new people and do new things? That incident at the pub…does it rings any bell?

You were laughing out loud with strangers and even danced. That was the first time you discovered how much you enjoyed dancing. What about now? The other week you went to that same pub and sat with a beer alone; you didn’t even look at others dancing let alone talk to strangers. What’s wrong? Can you understand this?

It’s been quite a while you have bashed someone for doing something wrong. Isn’t it?

Last year you saw a bunch of girls mocking a fat girl at the Student’s Centre. You went up to them and entered into a fight telling them that good looks don’t account for good behavior and that they are mean human beings. Others noticed and appreciated the way you stood by the fat girl.

Why then didn’t you speak up the other day when you saw a man misbehaving with the waiter? What made you control your tongue?

Have you seen how your wardrobe has changed? You think twice before buying a new clothing. At the back of your mind, you are always thinking, ‘What will they say if I wear this?’  You are not comfortable with whatever you are wearing; you aren’t happy with whatever you are wearing.

Your schedule has changed and you have to keep in mind while communicating with people. You have to think a number of times before saying or doing things.

You are not the same person anymore.

Every single day, you wake up and ask yourself, ‘Is this really me?’

You are tired. Deep down, you know you are judged and that your actions will get misinterpreted. You need to be extremely careful while taking every step of your life.

There’s too much to deal with and you need some peace on your own. You do those things because you are scared of negative criticism, you are scared of getting blamed for unnecessary things. A constant fear works in you which makes you accept this change and carry on even though you are not happy about it.

But why is this change when you are not happy about it?

What happened that changed you? Is it love or criticism of some people which made you change? Or is it some traumatic incident in your life? A break-up, perhaps?

If you are changing for the person you love, you should know that love changes people for better and do not have negative impacts on them. Love will change you in such a way that you will feel happy and grateful about it, not the otherwise.

Changing oneself for some negative criticism is a symbol of low self-esteem. It’s not worth it.

If it’s a break-up which changed you, you should remember that it’s good it happened. You didn’t deserve your ex. No need to change yourself because you thought being you was the reason for your breakup, no matter what your ex had said.

You need to keep in mind certain things.

  • We all are growing and changing but that change comes from within. We change a lot but there’s something in our core which makes us who we are. It will always remain same. If you try to change those elements, you will stop being yourself. You will not be the same person anymore and you will not be happy about it either.
  • True love will not force you to change. If you change, it will be because you wanted to and you should be happy about it. If your partner is forcing you to change, then it’s not true love.
  • Let go of people and things who try to control you. You are a free individual. You have every right to live life on your own terms. It’s hard to let go of the person you love most but do remember, it was never meant to be. You should be happy with the person you are with, not succumb to depression.
  • Love yourself. You have the potential to be successful. You deserve to be loved back. Just have patience and give it time. Time heals everything.
  • If you are not being yourself, cut off ties with forces which are changing you. Be happy with yourself. Respect yourself. Love yourself. You are precious.


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Written by Emilia Gordon

Born and brought up in Kansas, Emilia is a writer and a social activist.
She enjoys travelling and meeting new people


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