I forgot that the universe (or higher power) had my back. I forgot that I am worthy of his, and any man’s, love. And I missed out on truly being present and enjoying the relationship because I was so scared of it ending.
Now, I’m trusting that who I am is enough. I also trust that whatever happens, it’s always for my highest and best good, and his as well.
3. Making it too easy.
Because I loved him so much and because I never wanted him to leave me, I felt like I needed to prove myself to him. Whatever he needed, I was there supporting him. When he asked to see me, I’d rearrange my schedule for him.
My priority became him over the dance class I really enjoyed taking or spending time with friends.
Plus, the more things I did for him to prove to him how wonderful I was, the more he started relating to me like his mother, who doted on him whenever she was in town.
Now, I work to find compromises. I am no longer willing to sacrifice doing things that bring me joy for someone else. I also no longer feel the need to prove myself to anyone, especially a man, in order for them to love me.
4. Expecting too much.
Once we became serious, I began having unrealistic expectations of him to love me and fulfill my needs so that I could feel good about myself and my life.
I needed him to prove he loved me, and I would get really upset if he didn’t.
When we first started dating, he came over for dinner. On his way to my apartment, he met a neighbor of mine. They chatted for a bit and then he knocked on my door.
When he told me that he had met my neighbor, I was more concerned about whether he introduced himself as my boyfriend or not. I really didn’t care about what else they discussed.
I even asked my neighbor the next time I saw him if Luke had really introduced himself as my boyfriend. I needed him to say certain things or do certain things so that I could feel more at ease.
I felt like if he did these things, then he really did care about me. And if he didn’t, then he didn’t really care about me.
Immediately after we broke up, I realized that I didn’t like the way that I was choosing to show up in the relationship.
I realized that I didn’t blame him for not wanting to be with me. If a guy that I was seeing was doing all of these things to me, I’d end it, too!
So, I began diving more deeply into understanding how the Law of Attraction works, and anything else that could support me in healing my break up and myself. It was also during this time that I decided to become a love coach so I could help others not show up in this way either, and risk losing their soulmates, as I had, and forfeiting chances at true love.
Because I’ve learned how to value myself, love myself, and know that I’m worthy of love, I show up in my relationships completely like myself. I know that being completely myself is good enough and worthy of all that I desire! And now I teach others to know the same things about themselves.
I am an internationally-known dating coach, professional speaker, workshop leader, and author of The One Simple Secret to Attracting Your Soulmate Now. To learn more about healing your past, loving yourself more, or for a free Become Your Soulmate’s Soulmate Strategy Session, click here.
Written by Kelly Ann Garnett Originally published on YourTango