When it comes to marriage, everyone has different perceptions. Some people want to live in a romantic relationship without ever getting married, while others want to stay single forever. Also, there are people who are willing to marry only after accomplishing career goals, while few are ready for commitment just to feel complete.
Are you in a confusion whether to marry or not?
Here’re 10 Things I Learned While Everyone Else Was Getting Married
1. Don’t settle out of fear.
Most people settle for marriage out of fear of being single, according to recent studies. Negative affirmations like “I cannot find someone better if I get older” or “I should get married else I will be left alone” push you towards poor relationships that are unlikely to last longer.
Fear is an illusion of mind and leads to poor judgment. As you rush to get married just because none of your friends are single anymore, you “miss critical warning signs that a potential partner is a bad news” as per Lori Gottlieb, a psychotherapist based in Los Angeles. It’s better to stay alone until you find a partner who loves you the way you deserve to be loved.
What no one ever told you about people who are single? To know watch out the video.
2. Being single has benefits.
According to a study published in the Journal of Current Directions in Psychological Science – singles are assumed to be immature, maladjusted, and selfish. Such stigma gives rise to discrimination. For example, a rental application denied in favor of a married couple. But recent studies showed that single people are less self-centered, helpful to family, friends and ailing parents and more giving than married and cohabitating couples. Its time to debunk harmful myths like this!
A successful marriage shouldn’t always be the main source of happiness. Being single helps you ponder and figure out what you really want. It’s the phase, where you have the opportunity to indulge in things that interest you, build strong friendships, devote yourself to causes that you’re passionate about. Singlehood is the stage where you can develop a sense of self-worth. You don’t seek an identity that is not attached to a romantic partner’s love and approval.
These experiences will help you feel satisfied in your life with or without a partner. Even if you’re in a relationship, you may be less likely to have unrealistic expectations that your partner can and should meet all your needs.
3. Your list of ideal husband changes over time.
By the time you reach your mid or late twenties, your perception about good husband changes drastically. Instead of charm and other external factors like money and status, you start looking for deeper qualities like responsibility, confidence, honesty, integrity, righteousness and so on.
As you grow up what matters to you most is having a partner who will lead you and your family to the right path, gives the affection you deserve, appreciates little things you do for him, and has patience dealing with troubles. Things that matter to you most keep changing as time passes.
4. Choose the right career over marriage
No matter what a stable career never leaves you. Mid-twenties is the right phase to discover yourself, work as your passion, explore the corporate world and figure out what you want to do in life. Finding the right career and getting stable is important than marriage because it will make you self-sufficient. It adds to your purpose, boosts your self-confidence and self-esteem.
You will grow and learn from new experiences in life. Your financial independence not only makes you internally driven but makes you a happier person. A good career can help you survive even when your partner and parents leave you. So, get professionally stable before you settle down.