When in a relationship, there are many things that you and your partner might do unknowingly, that can slowly ruin your relationship.
May be the relationship you think is secure is actually on the verge of being ruined.
Statistically speaking, the percentage of divorce and breakups is comparatively higher than the percentage of successful and happy relationships.
Nowadays, marriages have lost their credibility and the younger generations tend to stay away from complicated procedures due to possible disagreements in opinion and way of life.
Here Are 10 Things That Can Slowly Ruin Your Relationship
1. Expecting from your partner to change because of you.
In the initial phase of a relationship, while two people are burning in the heat of seduction and play, their feet never touch the ground. They are busy building a castle in the air and everything seems rosy. Our impression of our partners during this period is all consummate in nature. We believe that we have found our ‘eternal love’ and everything feels so perfect that we forever want to capture that image of our partner.
But with time, as the layers of our partner’s personality unfolds, we find it difficult to recognize and accept as it has no congruence with the impression initially created. And here the trouble begins.
You become increasingly intolerant of your partner’s new behavior and attitude and you urgently want him to change according to your desires. What you fail to understand is that your partner hasn’t changed, he/she is just blooming into his/her true self.
Even if your partner changes, he/she will not and should not change according to your desires. If they feel that they want to modify an aspect of themselves, it should be their individualistic decision and not be influenced by your choices.
Learn to respect your partner for who he/she is – treat their virtues and their adversities alike.
2. Always having to win an argument.
People fight to prove a point. Two people in an intimate relationship with separate sets of value systems and ideas will naturally have arguments. But the connotation of the argument is very important.
Is the argument leading to something fruitful or is it to control, manipulate or dominate your partner?
If the argument is to satisfy your need for domination over your partner, and if it’s happening recurrently then you will ultimately end up ruining your relationship because such arguments lead to bitterness and unresolved conflicts.
3. Allowing a third person to interfere.
This mistake is one of the most common ones among partners. When two people are lost in a maze and are not being able to find a solution to the issues in their relationship, they often resort to close people, other companions, and relatives for advice.
The issue is clearer to the people involved and even while we would like to believe that a third person would be able to give us a neutral perspective of the muddle, but they might often mislead you – intentionally or otherwise.
When partners are in trouble, they should have the maturity to handle the problem with aplomb, because they have a clear idea of the trouble.
4. Neglecting the emotional and physical needs of the partner.
It is crucial to understand the emotional and physical needs of your partner. Neglecting the needs of your partner for too long will make her/him seek to fulfill the needs of some other source.
Your partner should never get the impression that you are not trying to emotionally and physically provide for them. Even if you can’t fulfill all of their needs, it necessary for them to see that you are trying your best to the least.
5. Holding grudges.
Holding grudges and focusing on trivial things can worsen your relationship. When you feel bitter with rage over something your partner did, you should stop and reflect, “Is it important enough to let such trifle matters strain your relationship?”
When you start to quarrel, just let the moment pass. Do something that helps you resolve your bitterness instead of seething in anger as holding a grudge has never done any good to anyone.
6. Disrespecting differences.
There are no two same persons in the whole world and differences are a part of human nature. Understanding and accepting that you yourself have a different outlook towards life, distinct ideas, and values which might as well be tough for your partner to welcome.
So, it’s crucial to respect the differences between you and your partner in order to keep your relationship healthy.
7. Not accepting fault.
Most couples tend to allow their egos overrule and they oppose to accepting fault.
Just because it wounds our ego to accept our faults, the easiest retreat is to project the ugly truth about our own selves on to the other person.
Learn to accept when you’re in the wrong and offer your sincerest apology, even when the fault isn’t really yours. However, there’s nothing wrong with saying “sorry”. Never allow the ego to overrule your love. If your partner really loves you, they will also learn to accept their faults.
“If you get your ego in your way, you will only look to other people and circumstances to blame.” – Jocko Willink