The Difference Between Loving Someone And Being In Love

The difference between loving someone and being in love is mind-boggling, and honestly, sometimes even heartbreaking. Loving someone and being in love are not always the same thing as many people tend to believe.

The word love may be a small four-letter composition but it has a deeper meaning somewhere. When you love someone, mere thoughts of that special one are enough to give you goosebumps. Probably you may not have noticed but there is a fine line that clearly differentiates between loving someone and being in love with someone.

Why you ask? Well, read on to know why that is!

Related: When Your Partner Loves You, But They’re Not In Love With You

The Difference Between Loving Someone And Being In Love

1. You can’t control falling in love.

You love someone because the person may have a similar nature to yours, the qualities which you look forward to in your partner. This is human nature. You have the choice to love that person, whose personality and mindset match yours.

But being in love doesn’t mean the same. You don’t have a choice when you are in love. It is like a free fall where you just can’t stop yourself from falling, and all you can do is go with the flow and trust that everything’s going to work out.

2. Loving someone is temporary but being in love is eternal.

Loving someone can possibly change your feelings if the attitude of that person changes with time. A nasty comment by your partner can frustrate the hell out of you or a silly fight can result in hurt feelings, which can make you want to end the relationship.

But when you are in love, you take the memories to your grave, your bond is unbreakable and you understand the importance of each other in your life. You love each other and accept each other forever, without any strings attached.

Related: Love Is A Choice, Not An Uncontrollable Feeling  

3. Physical presence does not always matter when you are in love.

When you love someone, their physical presence matters the most to you and your happiness. You want to share every minute and every moment of your life with them.

Being in love, on the other hand, is selfless. When in love, you desire the happiness of your partner. All that matters is their smile that can light up your world.

4. Ups and downs when you love someone, a steady flow of emotions when a person is in love.

Life is a journey having crests and falls. One might not always feel the same emotions for the other person for their whole life when it comes to loving them. Disagreements and differences can create a lot of instability, which can lead to the stage where your relationship might even fall apart.

But there will be a smooth and steady flow of emotions when you are in love. The love you have for your partner will be true and never-ending, and this is one of the major differences when it comes to being in love vs loving someone.

5. Being in love is about possessiveness while loving someone defines ownership.

Loving someone brings the demands of commitments. With that arise problematic situations and suspicious thoughts because loyalty tops your priority charts. You claim to own that person.

But being in love makes both of you trustworthy, and confidence and faith come naturally to you both. Thus you live as a team where both participants work for each other’s happiness. You are not possessive because you know the strength of your bond, and have full faith in each other.

Related: What Does Being In Love Feel Like? For Those Who Can’t Figure It Out

6. Loving someone requires effort, but being in love does not.

It is very natural to have problems in a relationship. Also, it is essential that both the partners make attempts to maintain stability in it. But when efforts start to feel tiring and it gets hectic to keep the relationship going, you need to realize that you are not in love.

Love is something that is defined by the emotional flow. When manual efforts overtake your feelings, it is not love that you are feeling, it’s codependency. When you genuinely love someone, you don’t need to force yourself to feel a certain way, you just do.

7. Loving someone can be selfish, but being in love is selfless.

When you love someone, your concern, love, and affection towards your partner are evident. You pray for their well-being and wish for their goodwill. You want them to always be okay because you cannot imagine your life without them.

But being in love makes you want to put in effort for their happiness and betterment. When you are in love, you sacrifice your happiness to make them feel happy and special, because true love always makes you selfless and pure-hearted.

8. You have expectations from your partner but when you’re in love, you just give without expecting anything.

When you love someone, you have many expectations from them and expect them to understand and fulfill all your demands and wishes. You want them to make you feel special and treat you like the center of the Universe.

But being in love with someone will make you love them without any expectations and favors. You will try to make them feel happy and special, without expecting anything in return. You want them to see how much you love them, but you will never make them feel as if they owe you something.

Related: 9 Differences Between True Love And Emotional Dependency

The difference in loving someone and being in love is simple – the former is all about you and your own needs, and the latter is all about how much you love them and how hard you can work to make sure they are happy. Love is a beautiful feeling, but only as long as you love someone the right way.