What does being in love feel like? It feels crazy. It feels fantastic. It feels painful. It feels like euphoria. Love feels like magic. Romantic love is a feeling that’s not like anything else. For ages, authors and poets have dedicated their lives to describe what love feels like. But you have to fall in love to know exactly what being in love feels like.
“We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.” — Robert Fulghum
Love is one of those things that everybody wants, but not everybody gets.
It’s the stuff that songs and movies are made of. But the challenge men and women alike find themselves faced with time and time again is that while we all want love, many people can’t identify whether or not they are falling in love, in love, or simply in the throes of infatuation.
So, this beckons the question, how do you know what being in love feels like or means?
While most of us think that we understand love, let’s clarify this.
Love is an intense feeling of deep affection that develops and is grown over time.
One of the beautiful things about love is that accepts imperfections and is more than a physical attraction to your partner. Love doesn’t make a person irrational or jealous. Rather, love is about devotion and commitment growing into and developing a feeling of security that is strengthened over time.
Love is also based on shared experiences, beliefs and attitudes. This is what we mean when referring to compatibility, which is a huge aspect of love.
Essentially, love wants what’s best for the other person and makes you selfless in your relationship.
“Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible – it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could.” – Barbara De Angelis
When someone isn’t sure whether or not they are in love, the reality is most often that they need to reconcile their questions about being in love with the concept of infatuation.
Infatuation is an intense but short-lived passion for someone. It’s that instant attraction and connection, but only lasting temporarily. Infatuation is not willing to recognize the humanity and flaws of others, only seeing perceived perfections. It’s based mostly on physical attraction.
Infatuation is characterized by the idea of falling in love with someone rather than being in love. With simple infatuation, there is no growing relationship or cultivating of something deeper.
Think of it this way — with infatuation, a relationship happens to the couple, whereas with love, the couple creates the relationship they want.
“Infatuation is when you find somebody who is absolutely perfect. Love is when you realize that they aren’t and it doesn’t matter.” – Anonymous
When you’re feeling infatuated with someone, you love the idea of them. When it’s real love, you love and accept who they are.
When things do not go your way with infatuation, there is jealousy and a lack of trust. But in a loving relationship, there is a basis of friendship and trust, so there is no need for jealousy or selfishness.
Infatuation wants what is best for yourself. Love wants what’s best for the other person and the relationship.
While many of us struggle in moments to distinguish between love and infatuation, there are some must-haves all romantic relationships need in order to cultivate and grow love as opposed to infatuation.