Differences Between Loving Your Partner and Being in Love with Them


Differences Between Loving Your Partner and Being in Love with Them

Love is a term that is used very loosely these days. People mix being in love with actually loving someone.

Being in love involves attraction, infatuation, obsession or possession.

We meet someone, we find them attractive, and we spend time with them, hold hands, hug, kiss and develop surface feelings. We crave them when they are not around and get high whenever we spend time with them.

It is due to the fact that our brain releases certain chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin when we are falling in love and getting closer to someone but usually this chemical rush doesn’t last long.

Whereas loving someone is deeper and lasts longer.

When you love someone you want to see them grow, you encourage them to reach their highest version. You take the time and effort to nurture the relationship. It requires commitment. Loving someone means giving love unconditionally without keeping score whereas being in love is based on temporary feelings of attraction and what you can get in return from the other person.

Loving someone is an act which requires extending yourself towards the well being of another.

Build your perfect relationship, check what Orion’s Method has to say about finding the right one and your emotional wellbeing. 

This is the major difference between being in love and loving someone.

Here are a few main differences between loving your partner and being in love with them.

1). Being in love can happen involuntarily whereas loving someone is a choice.

“Being in love with someone can stem from infatuation, possessiveness, and obsession. Loving someone, on the other hand, goes beyond the physical presence. You desire to see them grow, you see past their flaws, you see opportunities of building into each other and together; you motivate, encourage and inspire one another.” – Kemi Sogunle, Relationship Expert.

Being in love can happen involuntarily, we might feel attraction or lust towards anyone and start obsessing about them. We meet someone and we feel a rush of certain rush of chemicals in our bodies that trick us into believing that we love this person but this rush doesn’t last long whereas loving someone is not just based on chemical rush, it is a conscious choice that we make where we want to contribute to other person’s growth, we want to see them happy, we motivate them to reach their highest potential and love them without conditions.

2). Loving someone means putting them first

Being in love is focused on what you can get from the other person. You are with someone as long as they are fulfilling your needs but loving someone means putting them first.
It involves extending yourself for the well being of the other person. It is focused on giving unconditionally.

You accept your partner for who he or she truly is without being controlling or judgmental and trying to mold them into any image that you have in your head of how he or she should be.

3). Being in love is based on infatuation and short-lived, loving someone lasts longer

Falling in love can stem from attraction, lust or infatuation.You meet someone, intimate with someone, your brain and body is high on love chemicals and you develop surface level feelings for them and you mistake it for love.

But being in love is generally short-lived as the initial rush doesn’t last longer.

But loving someone lasts longer because it is a conscious decision that you make to stay with this person even after the initial rush has gone because you love them in totality for who they really are and you are willing to put in the time and effort to nurture them and see them grow.

4). Being in love is needy; loving someone is wanting absolute best for them

Being in love is falling in love with someone because of what you can get from them because they make you feel better about yourself or help you to overcome your loneliness. You fall out of love as soon as the other person does not give you what you want in the way you want.
Whereas loving someone is wanting the absolute best for them and wanting to see them happy wherever they are in their lives even if that includes being away from you.

“When you truly love someone, in a clean, unattached way, there is an overwhelming sense of wanting the absolute best for them. True love is wanting the absolute best for someone, even if what is best for them is to not be in a relationship with you,” – Jordan Gray.

5). Being is love is about ownership and loving someone is about a partnership

Being in love is about possessiveness or ownership. You basically view someone else as a way to fulfill your needs and you want to own them because your happiness is based on them. You will just fall in and out of love based on what you can get from a relationship. It is all about “I” and no “We”.
But loving someone is like working together as a team. You want to share your experiences and growth and move forward together. It is all about “We” and not just “I”.

You may also like

5 Certain Signs of Being in Love (according to psychology)

Are you in love, or just attached?

5 Reasons Why You Get Emotionally Attached Too Soon


— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

Opening Up: How To Master Self Disclosure In Relationships For Deeper Connection And Understanding

How Self Disclosure in Relationships Can Transform Your Love

Is your relationship thriving or are you struggling to maintain emotional intimacy? The key to a strong, lasting relationship is mastering the art of self disclosure in relationships.

Have you ever shared your deepest secrets with someone you deeply care about? Have you dared to bare your soul and be vulnerable before your partner? If you have, congratulations! You know the secret to building a close, intimate relationship. 

Sharing our innermost thoughts and feelings with someone we love helps build strong bonds, deeper trust and an intense emotional connection.

Self-disclosure is the secret that unlocks the door to true intimacy and understanding. Today, we are going to explore what is self disclosure in psychology, what are the risks and benefits of self disclosur

Up Next

How To Move On From A Situationship? 3 Things That Can Help You

How To Move On From A Situationship? Things That Can Help

If you have ever been in a situationship, you know that it still hurts when it ends. So, how to move on from a situationship? In this article, we are going to talk about some of the best things to do if you’re trying to move on from a situationship.

A “situationship” is a romantic and/or sexual relationship that isn’t formally defined. You may know it by its other pop culture references like “friends with benefits,” “fun buddies,” or “booty call.”

People in situationships generally aren’t exclusively committed to each other and typically aren’t expected to fork over a ton of emotional investment.

Up Next

3 Reasons Why Alcohol Affects Your Relationship And What To Do About It

Alcohol Affects Your Relationship? Critical Reasons Why

Is alcohol impacting your relationship? If your answer is yes, then you’ve come to the right place. This article is going to explore how alcohol affects your relationship, the reasons behind it, and how to cut back on alcohol.

During an interview on the popular podcast The Tim Ferriss Show, famous entrepreneur and businessman Sir Richard Branson once suggested a simple yet important thought experiment to listeners.

We’ll paraphrase that thought experiment here:

Think back to the few biggest mistakes or arguments of your marriage. Now think how many of them occurred when one or both of you were und

Up Next

4 Signs Of Relationship OCD And How To Make Sense Of It

Signs Of Relationship OCD And How To Make Sense Of It

What is relationship OCD and what are the best ways of dealing with relationship OCD? This article is going to talk about all that and more.

Relationship OCD refers to someone who has become consumed with obsessive doubts about their partner and their past.

Experiencing changes in the emotions we feel towards a romantic partner is a natural part of developing an intimate relationship. At the same time, we all might pay more attention to our partner’s flaws as the relationship progresses.

But for people in the grip of relationship OCD,

Up Next

6 Things Single People Are Tired Of Hearing: Hearing It On Repeat

Things Single People Are Tired Of Hearing: Enough Already

Being single is not a crime, nor is it something to feel sorry about. There are so many things single people are tired of hearing, and they just want all those “well-wishers” to just zip it. Let’s explore 6 of the most annoying things single people are sick of hearing, and the things single people hate hearing.


Despite their good intentions, family and friends often give harmful advice to single people.

It’s important for daters not to get so overwhelmed that they ignore their own values.

Relationships can progress at different speeds and intensities and stil

Up Next

12 Most Romantic Proposals In Movies To Inspire Your Own Love Scene

Best Proposal Scenes In Movies That'll Make You Cry

Ever notice how Hollywood takes love to another level? They know how to make grand gestures and to prove my point here are some of the best proposal scenes in movies. These will train you to create your own emotional, and beautiful scene!

Whether it’s a dramatic confession on the Empire State Building or a cozy candlelit moment, movies set the bar high for what we expect in love.

Your own proposal might not have had A-list actors or a dreamy lighting crew, but these best movie marriage proposals will make you understand what real love feels like.

So without further ado, let’s get into some of the most romantic movie proposals ever!

Up Next

How To Stop Being Negative In Your Relationship? 4 Strategies That Can Make A Difference

How To Stop Being Negative In A Relationship? Strategies

Negativity in relationships is like slow poison; with time, negativity can ruin a relationship for good. So, how to stop being negative in a relationship? This article is going to talk about the repercussions of negativity in relationships and how to stop being negative in one.

Many of us have been there.

You bring up an issue with your partner, and you feel attacked by their response. You get defensive and return fire—only for them to do the same. It’s a battle that no one can win.

Thankfully, it doesn’t have to be this way.

Making small shifts to your mindset can