This is how you get emotionally attached, too soon, after getting into a relationship.
Jump into new relationships with both feet every single time while ignoring all the red flags.
Feel like every guy you date just might be “the one” after just one or two dates.
Know deep down you have a destructive pattern with men that is hurting your relationships.
Understanding the destructive patterns in your love life is the only way to break them.
If you’re struggling to keep a high-quality man in your life, it may be due to one of these five things.
1. You’ve dealt with abandonment in your childhood.
You may have had a parent who wasn’t there when you needed it. Maybe it was the soccer game you scored the winning goal, or you graduated from high school and your parents didn’t even attempt to come.
If you’ve dealt with abandonment during your childhood, you’re going to have more of a tendency to pull people towards you and be fearful of letting them go.
Worse off, you’ll have a tendency to seek men where you can recreate those childhood moments, even if you don’t know you’re doing it. You’ll subconsciously attract men who don’t give themselves fully, you’ll seek their approval, become dependent on it, and begin to feed off of it.
You need to realize, that you’re no longer a helpless child. You’re an adult who can make decisions for herself. Whatever happened in the past doesn’t mean it needs to happen in the future.
You can open your heart to a man that wants to be with you fully. Just remember, during those first few months of dating to give enough space and not allow yourself to dive in out of fear of losing the person.
2. You get distracted by “shiny” male qualities.
The thing that attracts you to someone in the first place is unlikely to make the relationship better. And sometimes, the very thing you were attracted to in the beginning is what makes the relationship difficult.
For example, let’s say you meet this great guy. He happens to own a couple restaurants, he’s super successful, and everyone really likes him.
As the relationship progresses, these same attributes can be the very thing that makes your life miserable. You won’t spend much time together because he’s hyper-ambitious and works constantly. Remember that charm you found so appealing, he may cross the line with the women at work.
The point, the next time you meet a guy and find yourself overly attached and drawn to his shiny attributes then you need to take a step back. Don’t value flashy qualities too highly because, in the long run, they could be the very thing that ends the relationship.
3. You give away responsibility for your happiness.
People who are unsure of how to take care of themselves emotionally will desperately reach out to someone else. They are constantly seeking approval and happiness from others.
This vicious cycle will cause you to be even more emotionally attached to one person and put a major strain on your relationship.
4. You make dating decisions based on your emotions rather than logic.
By basing your decisions on the emotion you become reactionary. For example, if a guy doesn’t text you back you get really mad and text something embarrassingly over reactive.
Or when you are feeling lonely, you instantly text him and want him to console you. Or when you’re feeling envious about another girl you seek validation from him.
In a healthy relationship, it is great to have someone there to listen to your emotions and be able to respond accordingly. However, you want to avoid becoming completely dependent on getting all of your emotional validation from one person.
Lastly, it is important to work on managing your own emotions. You have total control over your emotions. If you find you’re constantly reacting based on how you feel in the moment, then it’s important to take a step back and develop a practice to calm yourself before acting.
5. You don’t believe that you can be happy when you’re single.
The biggest reason why you get emotionally attached too soon in relationships is that you don’t believe you can be happy when you’re single. The moment that you become happy with your single life is the very moment a guy will come in and sweep you off your feet.