How Expecting Nothing From Everyone Else Can Save You From Yourself

“IF YOU EXPECT NOTHING FROM ANYBODY, YOU’RE NEVER DISAPPOINTED.” — SYLVIA PLATH

Related: Having expectations and not having them live up to can bring you down in so many ways. Here’s The Key To Bliss: Let Go Of Expectations And Avoid Suffering.

What gives us the idea that the people around us are responsible for the way we feel or don’t feel? Why is it that we expect so little from ourselves and so much from others? We want our family to love and care for us; we want our friends to value and cherish us, and we want the entire world to see how incredible we really are. But all this time,  have we learned to provide for ourselves all these things that we seek to get from those around us?

We expect so little from ourselves and so much from others. We constantly seek outside of us for all the things that we feel are missing from within ourselves, which is why we fail to realize the extent of how capable we are, and that we can do so much more for ourselves than the whole world can do for us.

“ALL YOU NEED IS ALREADY WITHIN YOU, ONLY YOU MUST APPROACH YOUR SELF WITH REVERENCE AND LOVE. SELF-CONDEMNATION AND SELF-DISTRUST ARE GRIEVOUS ERRORS. YOUR CONSTANT FLIGHT FROM PAIN AND SEARCH FOR PLEASURE IS A SIGN OF LOVE YOU BEAR FOR YOUR SELF, ALL I PLEAD WITH YOU IS THIS: MAKE LOVE OF YOUR SELF PERFECT. DENY YOURSELF NOTHING — GLUE YOUR SELF INFINITY AND ETERNITY AND DISCOVER THAT YOU DO NOT NEED THEM; YOU ARE BEYOND.” — NISARGADATTA MAHARAJ

After continuous years of working on myself, I got really good at handling my own darkness; I got better at facing my inner demons all by myself, without the help of other people. But I began to act differently after moving back home to finish writing my book, having to deal with so much past happenings and being in the energy of that place for such a long time. Instead of behaving like the person I had become, I started behaving more like the person that I once was. Consequently, I started expecting my family, my friends, and those close to me to lift me up whenever I was feeling down. I began to expect more from those around me than I was expecting from myself. And not before long, I  lost my balance completely.

Entirely detached from the wisdom and the power of my heart and soul, that special place from which my strength, courage, and confidence organically comes from, I started filling my mind with all kinds of toxic, unhealthy, and fearful thoughts. Thoughts that were making me feel as if I was living in an extremely hostile world, a world where I was worthless and incapable – a world where I needed other people to save me since I was no longer able to save myself.

“NO ONE SAVES US BUT OURSELVES. NO ONE CAN AND NO ONE MAY. WE OURSELVES MUST WALK THE PATH.” — BUDDHA

I was in that place for only a limited time and I gradually brought myself back to the surface. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who live their entire lives in that dark and fearful place, which is a terribly sad thing. It’s unfortunate because there is immense power, so much strength and plenty of wisdom within each and every one of us, but because we believe all the lies our minds are constantly telling us, we begin to look outside of us for all the things we believe are missing from ourselves. This leaves us unable to see things clearly, and unable to recognize the truth that lies behind these lies for ourselves – that we have within us the power, the strength, the courage and the confidence to handle and deal with everything that life sends our way.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” — Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

You truly are powerful and capable beyond measure. Even though your mind may try to convince you otherwise, you have to understand and accept that your “salvation” will never come from anything or anyone outside of you. Nobody, despite how close and important they might be to you, is responsible for your own life, health, happiness, and well-being. Absolutely nobody! You are the only one responsible for the way you feel, for how your life looks, and for the mess that’s in and around your life. If you want things to get better, it’s your own responsibility to make them better.

“DON’T GO AROUND SAYING THE WORLD OWES YOU A LIVING. THE WORLD OWES YOU NOTHING. IT WAS HERE FIRST.” — MARK TWAIN

Simply put, nobody can save you but yourself. You are the lead character of your own life, the protagonist of your own life story. This means that you yourself have to “save” yourself from whatever it is that you need to be “saved” from. You and only you can illuminate all those places where there was once so much darkness, and only you can fight and conquer your own demons.

Nobody, absolutely nobody, can fight your battles for you.

Yes, you have friends, family members and all kind of people from whom your mind will definitely tell you to expect things like love, acceptance, happiness, approval, affection, validation, etc., and even though it would be great to get all those things from them, you have to keep in mind that –

 “Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself.” — Rumi.

Understand that you don’t need anything from anyone. Everything and anything you need is already within you. So ask all you want from yourself, so that you may expect more from yourself and less from others.

Learn to honor who you are because your life is yours to live. Learn to expect more from yourself and less from others. Make peace with the idea that everything that’s happening to you, no matter how dark and painful, it’s all a part of your life’s journey. It’s all a part of your evolution and spiritual growth. All of it is meant to mold you, to polish you, and to bring to the surface the immensely wonderful, powerful, and divine being that lies underneath all the darkness. Have faith that –

 “Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.” ― Eckhart Tolle

Walk your path in life with your head held high. Embrace and face your challenges with dignity. Allow your struggles to make you become better, not bitter. Allow your life challenges to lift you up and not to tear you down. Remember, no matter what happens to you in life, never blame anyone for what you’re feeling. 

Stay graceful.

With all my love,

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