Why The Older You Get, The More You Hate People (and why that’s okay)

Why The Older You Get, The More You Hate People (and why that's okay)

The Older You Get, The More You Hate People

Now that you have come of age and lived a life of an adult, you feel you hate more people than you like. Is this something directly related to growing older? I think it is. When I was young, I could get pally with people easily. I was in the state of mind to put that extra effort to keep those people in my life.

Gradually, as I grew older most people who I considered indispensable to my existence revealed their true colors. They broke my heart, betrayed my trust and did not care to make amends.  In the beginning, it really felt bad to lose my so-called ‘close friends’, but with time I realized I was more at ease with the feeling of having no friends at all.

Why The Older You Get, The More You Hate People (and why that's okay)

As you get older, the desire to please the wrong people vanishes

Why we end up with so many wrong people like our friends (at least we want to think them that way) is our desire to be a part of the ‘hot and happening’ lot, our desire to be popular. Most of us do all kinds of wrong and destructive things to impress people in our bid to be friends with them. During this phase, we ignore all the alarming signals that scream at us that we are being used by toxic people.

But with age, we gain maturity and develop eyes that show us the real picture. It does not feel good to please someone by doing harmful and humiliating things for someone else’s pleasure or fun.

I simply don’t want to put up with people who have no desire to make our friendship long-lasting. If someone just wants to play foul and derive fun from it, they are most welcome to leave because I will no longer bear with their filthy behavior.

As you get older, you don’t feel the need to add new friends

Making new friends slips off your priority list as you grow up. Having a large number of friends is not at all a great idea for me. I have had the experience, and I am well aware of what it is. This does not mean I have stopped socializing. It only means I don’t let people have access to my private life or trust them with my deepest secrets.

I am at an age where I don’t desire to make any friends. My family is all I have and though it may sound unfortunate, actually it isn’t. Believe it or not, I feel quite good about it.

As you get older, you learn to respect yourself

The day you start valuing and caring for yourself, you stop self-ruin. Usually, people wake up when they have led an adult life for some time and learn to look through illusions.

There is an urgent call within your awakened soul to stop doing things that gratify others, and indulge in activities that please you. You will find most friendships evaporating in no time. When you stop allowing people to use you like a doormat, they would dump you as for them you are useless. There will not be the slightest inclination on your part to do wild things just to be a part of a group or ensure a place on someone’s friend list.

Do you sometimes struggle to love yourself? Read 10 Every Day Must Do’s To Make You Love Yourself Better 

Instead of feeling low, you should spend time learning and improving yourself. Ultimately, it is you who is going to be there for yourself. Friends will leave you sooner or later.

If you want to know more about how the older you get the more you hate people, check out this video below:


Why The Older You Get, The More You Hate People (and why that's okay)
Why The Older You Get, The More You Hate People (and why that's okay)

67 thoughts on “Why The Older You Get, The More You Hate People (and why that’s okay)”

  1. And the author is only 25 years old! Wish I had been that wise 36 years ago when I was a quarter of a century old … I could have saved myself from a lot broken heartedness. Is that a word?

  2. I am so glad that I am happy with my own company and don’t feel the need for a lot of friends. I do however, like people, they are ok, they have their own lives to live and I have mine. Life hasn’t made me bitter, it has made me wiser and happier than I have ever been.

  3. I think we learn to love ourselves, therefore put ourselves first and invest our energy in relationships that feel better, which is what the writer is really saying in my opinion. But I also think we just plain hate seeing thevsubconscious hurt/beliefs we carry around mirrored back to us via others! It sucks! And sometimes it really does feel like more bad/hurtful people exist than good, solid, caring, compassionate, loyal, you get it, people do. It’s cold.

  4. You don’t really hate everyone unless you’re a psychopath. The thing is, when we get older, we have more self-confidence, we don’t need to impress anyone and we don’t put up with other people’s crap cause we KNOW how to invest our energy better.

    1. Well put ! Some times putting something so simple in terms most people can understand , shows so much intelligence! It’s about an inner self balance between understanding and staying firm in your perspective. If you can’t come to an agreement move on , some one doesn’t have to be right or wrong sometimes.

  5. I am guessing that when you turn 40 you’ll be writing an article about how little that 25 year old girl knew about life and people. At least I hope so, for your sake.

  6. It’s very saddening to read your cynicism and realize how lonely you must be. And I wonder what part of the country you knew these ex-friends in. They sound like the kinds of shallow relationships Southern Californians form. Are you from Los Angeles or Orange County by any chance?

  7. reading this article hurt my brain, no joke. writer, do yourself a favour – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SaHrqKKFnSA

    yes there are a lot of people that are not worthy of your sustained investment in keeping the relationship alive, but! when youre bitter and angry about it, youre the one who is suffering, its not a good perspective from which to see things, focus on strengthening your own internal and external freedom to be who you are and leave them to it, if they want ot be around you they will, if they dont they wont, if youre bitter and angry about it, youre the one in pain and those beliefs also create that reality, so there you are left in a bitter state and because your attitude and focus is this way, you will constantly have your beliefs validated, and down you go in a shitty angry bitter spiral. dont do it man, get some nice exercise, stretch, eat well, be gentle with yourself and others whenever possible and be thankful for what you have, what we focus on literally, physically, energetically, becomes our reality, this is science now, so dont focus on the hate, focus on the life and strength inside you, feel it and let it grow stronger. part of life is pain, but only to guide you to that place wthin yourself where it doesnt hurt, take care of yourself and pay attention, learn and apply.

  8. Great article, I can totally relate. As you age your tolerance level for bs definitely goes down, that’s part of the reason I’m so happy with this season in my life. It’s not that I hate everyone but I do have very low expectations and I make people earn my trust and my time before I waste any on them. Ironically it wasn’t until I stopped wasting time on idiots and resigned myself to being the Cat Lady that I met the love of my life. Sometimes life has a funny way of surprising you.

  9. This post is bullshit, love everyone that is in front of you, always. Accept they all have their own path, as you do, and when the time comes, just let them follow their path.

  10. “You will never leave you..” In that you are wrong.. beyond imagenation… ….. When you get ill, young or old aged.. you will see and feel yourself falling apart …and sometimes you won’t be able to restore much.. or will not be able to help yourself anymore.. In a way, you will need other people.. to help you with the things you mentally or physically, or emotionally cannot do anymore.. So pick your friends with care.. and if possible maintain good or build good relationships with your family.. Because, “you will leave you” is a plausible and real thing that can happen..

  11. She says this all at 25!! I was wondering about all the vulgarity. I agree w/ most of this–but my friendships dwindled (to almost nothing) my 40’s!! Sorry to say girl–but 25 is YOUNG!! I was having a blast…friends were everywhere…as long as I was care-free, partying and happy! Now, its down to a hand-ful of family and friends. That’s it. <3

  12. Wow – I am so backwards from this mentality. Maybe because I grew up in foster care but when I was young I knew that most people were just programmed within preexisting confines – and my awareness of that only grew with time. I tried to find people who were very aware and the creative daring types. As I have gotten older I am even more appreciative of the good friends when I find them and have gained more insight and tolerance as I have grown as a person. This article made me thankful for not being sheltered as a child with some misguided notion that the world was an ideal functional place, with a fixed sense of existence, and where there are happy endings awaiting you. At 5 I was consumed with the concept of time intertwined with a sense of self. At 7 I was consumed with a sense of my being amongst the vastness of the world. Only other people have every tried set barriers up for me regarding my limitations. A lot of people seem ridiculously obsessed with fencing everyone in and categorizing them. It is no wonder most of you hate people by the time you are older and want to curl up within yourselves. It is you feeling free to explore for yourselves.

  13. surprised the writer of the post is only 25 …. being alone is fine, there is nothing wrong with that at all….. I myself love being alone…but there seemed to be a hard edge and I felt sad for the writer because obviously they have gone through some very hard times…. but each person that comes into your life whether they stay or not, is someone who adds to your life…they add lessons…some good, some hard to learn….never regret the people who come into your life…some people are ‘roots’ and stay in your life for ever…others are branches or twigs ….each has it’s role….

  14. I have learned to love me more and that’s fine, because people will come and go..but the one’s that stay are precious and few.<3

  15. I am almost 85 and do not hate anyone. Hate is destructive. A wise man once told me ” People who walk away never intended to stay in the first place”. So true, Newton. Life is too short to hate. Go on the best you can.

  16. I suffered this and still am. And it’s very sad to see how at early ages this begins to happen, more in this times than before. Selfishness is winning space and you see very young people being disappointed by “friends”. I came to the point of asking myself what would happen if I had none friends at all…. and finally came to realize that is ok. I’m enough. Time will keep the true ones. If not, I’m also done.

  17. Through experience: I’ve found it’s more empirically valid to start from the position that I won’t like a person. I’m polite about it of course, no reason to offend anyone, unnecessarily. But yeah, 40 (almost) years on the planet met thousands of people, have a handful of friends – do the math! Maybe a 5% chance I’ll genuinely like a person, at a push?

  18. I am trying to walk out if it. I suffered a career ending neck injury after 13 years in the USAF 2005. I played pool full time in 06 but a year later became withdrawn. I need to find social happiness again. This is worth actively researching.

  19. I am trying to walk out if it. I suffered a career ending neck injury after 13 years in the USAF 2005. I played pool full time in 06 but a year later became withdrawn. I need to find social happiness again. This is worth actively researching.

  20. This is not much of a surprise. You get to this crossroads faster when you get stricken by a debilitating physical condition. Then you quickly realize that it’s a solitary walk. Everyone is too busy with their own mental chatter. Improve your outlook… seek a better vantage point, or wither from bitterness.

  21. This is not much of a surprise. You get to this crossroads faster when you get stricken by a debilitating physical condition. Then you quickly realize that it’s a solitary walk. Everyone is too busy with their own mental chatter. Improve your outlook… seek a better vantage point, or wither from bitterness.

  22. Aisa isliye hota hai kyon Ki logo Ki jinko hum apney jaan se bhi jyada pyar kartey hai,woh log apney swarth ke liye humara tiraskaar karney lagtey hai,ya neglect kartey hai toh yeh baat pahley nahi samaz me aati hai ye baatey humko apni umra khokar he pata chalti hai.tab sabkey asli rang samney aatey hai.jab hum unko apni problem batatey hai saaf bahar nikal jatey hai,help karne ke bajay humko us halat ka responsible declare kar detey hai.aur khud gayab ho jatey hai. Tab humko apni karni per he dookh hota hai Ki jiske liye humne sab kuch hastey hastey chod diya woh toh kabhi apna tha he nahi.aur Jo apna tha usko humne kabhi apna samza he nahi.actually God is the lord n beloved of every one.lekin jab yeh baatey samaz me aati hai tab tak hath ke totey toh udd chukey hotey hai na.

  23. Aisa isliye hota hai kyon Ki logo Ki jinko hum apney jaan se bhi jyada pyar kartey hai,woh log apney swarth ke liye humara tiraskaar karney lagtey hai,ya neglect kartey hai toh yeh baat pahley nahi samaz me aati hai ye baatey humko apni umra khokar he pata chalti hai.tab sabkey asli rang samney aatey hai.jab hum unko apni problem batatey hai saaf bahar nikal jatey hai,help karne ke bajay humko us halat ka responsible declare kar detey hai.aur khud gayab ho jatey hai. Tab humko apni karni per he dookh hota hai Ki jiske liye humne sab kuch hastey hastey chod diya woh toh kabhi apna tha he nahi.aur Jo apna tha usko humne kabhi apna samza he nahi.actually God is the lord n beloved of every one.lekin jab yeh baatey samaz me aati hai tab tak hath ke totey toh udd chukey hotey hai na.

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