Knowing the reasons why someone dumped you might break your heart, but it is an essential part of moving on.
The usual break-up lines that many people use can be narrowed down to some variations of the following lines:
- We simply grew apart from each other.
- I need some time for myself… without you.
- I’m really not ready to make a serious commitment.
Now if you take these lines hook line and sinker and actually believe them …then you probably are really not yet ready for a serious, committed relationship.
Because, the reality is that whether they do it consciously or unconsciously, most people LIE and do not actually tell the truth when they use break-up lines – that is to say, that they do not tell you the real, deeper reason behind the break-up.
And if you want to get your ex back, you MUST find out these deeper hidden reasons …PERIOD.
What do you mean by a deeper hidden reason?
When someone dumps their partner, they dump them essentially because of one thing –
THEY LOST HOPE IN YOU
They lost hope in you as a future life partner.
The keyword here is “hope,” because having hope is directly associated with having dreams for the future – something to look forward to far beyond the horizon.
Therefore, because hopes and dreams are so closely intertwined, having lost hope in you, your ex could no longer envision a future that involved being together with you…
…and this is how you found yourself dumped by your ex.
Why did they lie about the real reason for dumping me?
They probably had already made up their mind that you didn’t fit in with their dreams, and so rather than tell this to you (where you might then try and prove them wrong on the area where you weren’t fitting their dreams) …they simply decided to keep you in the dark.
This way, any attempt you’d make to try and get them back would fail because it wouldn’t address the REAL reason why they dumped you.
In order words, they lied to you about the real reason for the breakup in order to sabotage any attempt you’d make to try and win them back again after the breakup.
If you were to find out the REAL reason for the breakup (i.e. in what way they no longer considered you to be in tune with their dreams) …then you would know the exact steps to take to try and win them back again.
What do I need to do then?
The proper way to approach the problem of getting your ex back is to uncover their dreams – find out what they hope for and what their visions for the future are.
Because you were once together as a couple, this means that you did fit into their future plans at some point, but that you then simply fell out of them at some point.
So here’s what you need to do:
1. Reflect on your past relationship and try to be objective.
Try to learn exactly when the relationship problem or problems first occurred …and what has changed since the start of the relationship that might have led to the break-up.
For this reason, it is a good idea to objectively assess the beginning and the end of the relationship and to see what things have changed since your first began going out with your ex.
2. Find Out What Changed
In order to get your ex back (and get them back in a sustainable manner that ensures they want to stay with you long-term) …you need to find out what these exact things were that changed.
“So what changed?”
…you might ask.
It might be the case that something has changed in you …or in them.
For example, if your ex was initially attracted to you because of how you took care of yourself by going to the gym 3 times a week, and you now only go once a month, this may have negatively affected how they now perceive you …even if they didn’t outwardly state this.
They admired this about you …but now that you’ve taken this thing out of your life, you inadvertently took away that admiration they had for you because of it.
This of course is an obvious example.
What you need to do is think hard right now about the thing or things that caused your ex to become attracted you …that are now absent.
What from back then …is longer a part of you?
What dreams of theirs did you fit in with back then …that you longer fit in with now.
If you can find this thing (or things) and base your strategy for getting your ex back based on these …you will have a FAR higher chance of getting your ex back …than if you had based your strategy for getting your ex back based on the FAKE breakup reasons they gave you.