6 Simple Ways To Reconnect With Your Partner When Feeling Lonely In A Relationship

All relationships need to be nurtured else one or both partners might end up feeling lonely. As we are usually not perfect partners in our relationships, we need some strategies to fix and repair our relationships from time to time to reconnect with our partners and build a lasting relationship.

All relationships need to be nurtured else one or both partners might end up feeling lonely. As we are usually not perfect partners in our relationships, we need some strategies to fix and repair our relationships from time to time to reconnect with our partners and build a lasting relationship.

Don’t give up, just regroup.

Have you been in a relationship for some time now, yet feel confused because, lately, you’re plagued with loneliness? Do you spend time remembering those first early months (even years) together when you felt happily connected?

Now, it seems life got in the way. You’re constantly feeling alone. Sure, you’re under the same roof, but are you actually sharing conversation, much less quality time together? Has your intimacy suffered, too? Maybe you realize you didn’t tell your spouse about something important that happened, but you told your friend instead.

The reasons “why” are likely entirely legitimate. Maybe you’re working later than usual, or you and your spouse are on different schedules. Or maybe you are “dividing and conquering” child-rearing as you both tackle tag-team shepherding the kids to extracurriculars.

Day in, day out, marriage can get like this. And guess what? If you are a couple like this, you’re normal. It turns out, the disconnect happens in this non-stop life when you are busy building your dreams together. The disconnect is normal but it’s also solvable.

Here’s some relationship advice that will help you come back together and then keep that great connection.

6 Simple Ways To Reconnect With Your Partner When Feeling Lonely In A Relationship

1. Recognize that chasing your dreams has taken its toll.

Your feelings of loneliness didn’t happen suddenly, nor by accident. It’s not hard to lose site of putting your relationship first when you are busy building the life you dreamed of.

But now, take time to assess your daily routine and its impact on your relationship. You need a few tweaks, clearly. And that’s okay. Figure out what you can shift, move, or reschedule to create space for more time together. Then use that space to laugh together and rebuild the connection.

 

2. Thank your partner.

Even when your partner knows you appreciate them, they still need to hear it from you directly. Saying thank you is sometimes the first thing to slide when we get busy, and yet it is such a simple place to start: Thank you for making dinner; for working so hard at the office today; for folding the laundry; for paying the electric bill.

One easy way to keep the flow of thank you’s is to write a little note — one per day — and stick it in a place where your partner will find it. You’d be surprised how much these little messages increase relationship connection.

 

3. Don’t expect your partner to know what’s going on with you.

Dr. Keith Sanford, Associate Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience at Baylor University, warns against this common pitfall, noting that, “conflicts in which one partner expects the other to mind-read were more likely to lead to negative communication and anger.”

Learning a few tips on how to communicate more clearly — namely, using feeling statements and active listening — will ensure you truly understand each other without defaulting to misguided assumptions.

 

4. Ask curious questions.

They say love is in the details; the more we can picture our loved one’s experiences, the more we have to love about them. Skip with the unspecific “How was your day?” and replace it with curious questions like, “What was something you enjoyed about today? Tell me about that project; I’d love to hear the details.”

Likewise, don’t just be prepared to listen; be prepared to share, as well. If your partner doesn’t (yet!) ask pointed questions, take the initiative and discuss your own day in a detailed fashion.

 

5. Go to bed at the same time most nights of the week.

There’s something about ending the day together that bonds us like nothing else. That’s why parents make sure to kiss their young ones goodnight at bedtime. It’s the same for adults in a relationship. When we end the day together, we are together.

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YourTango is the leading online magazine dedicated to love and relationships.

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