When it comes to love, most of us are slightly mistaken in what it is and how we think we will find it. First and foremost, finding the right partner requires you to be the right person.
There are so many of my friends who complain about life and say if only they had a nice girlfriend everything would work out great for them. Well, that is a mistake no 1. There is nothing so magical about another human being that they will come into your life and with just one swipe of their hand make everything alright. If you think you need a girlfriend so that you can finally be happy, you are looking at it wrong.
It is nice to think that the right partner could be the solution to all your problems, but the truth is different, and unless you accept it, you are setting yourself for a very bad fall. Because if you get into a relationship with hopes of everything being perfect and whatnot, and then you see it is not as picture-perfect as you believed- you will be disappointed and disgruntled.
Many people might have an idea of what I am saying because they have experienced it firsthand. However, that does not necessarily mean that they remembered it for the next time. And they go about making the same presumption again and again.
Your State Of Mind Defines What Kind Of Relationship You Will Have With Your Partner
Stop looking for the right partner. Focus on your goals and rebuilding your life. The right person will eventually find their way to you.
Ever heard that if you want good in your life then you have to do good. The same applies to relationships as well. When you enter a relationship, completely happy and content with whom you are, and your life, the chances of that relationship being successful are much higher. Anytime a new girl spends time with you she notices the little things which tell a lot about your quality of life.
When you are happy and content with what you have, you come off as a genuine and happy person. And believe me, this is a very positive sign for any lady. Also how you live your life describes a lot about you.
There are so many guys that I know who don’t put even a little effort into keeping themselves healthy, their stuff is always messed up and they keep putting things off. They never have the energy to try new and exciting things. And then they say that they are unhappy. Well, no wonder brother, if you will live like that, doing the bare minimum how will you find happiness or contentment.
And even more shocking is that they genuinely believe that being in a relationship will help them conquer all of this. As if getting a boyfriend/girlfriend will turn on some magic switch inside their brain and they will turn themselves around with no effort at all. This is where you are wrong.
No Other Person Can Make You Happy If You Aren’t Happy Yourself.
Everyone says we need another person to make us whole. That is bullshit. You need to be complete in your own self. And when you are happy being with yourself, you will attract people who would add to your happiness. Expecting someone else to make you happy is wrong and unfair both towards you as well as your partner.
Another thing that most people miss is to actually attract someone long enough for them to stay; you need to get your life in order. Because when a person first meets you, they have no clue about how good a person you are or how golden your heart. They assess you from pointers that are visible to them.
What kind of life you have. How monotonous or exciting your day was and so on. If you have nothing to show for yourself, how are they expected to stay? They will see a monotonous future, with a guy who has no hobbies of his own and they will not stay to know what possibilities you two could have.
Now think about it, are they truly to be blamed to see who you are, instead of who you could be, just from a couple of dates? Another problem is, when we are not happy with our own lives when we don’t have hobbies and passion taking up our time and attention, we end up becoming too obsessed with this new person in our life. And don’t get me wrong, everyone loves to get attention, but too much too soon can scare anyone away.
And the thing is you cannot help yourself, after so much mundane and predictable stuff, you finally have a source of newness and excitement that you don’t realize when you start defining your own happiness, or even worse, your self-worth based on what this other person is thinking of you.
Their opinion becomes way too important to you because you have no other person or things to take your mind off. Not only is this wrong, but it will also cause a lot many problems for your sense of being when you give one person too much control over your own thoughts and emotions. That is why when they start ignoring you, you get much more affected than you should.
On the other hand, when you are happy living your own life, you will not think too much about someone’s one-date opinion of you or the right partner’s approval.
You will not seek their approval and it is a very liberating feeling indeed. Not just that, it is quite attractive too when you have hobbies of your own. Talking about something that you are passionate about is a very good way to impress someone. However, that is not the reason you should do it.
Just remember, if you are happy in your own self the quality of relationships that you forge will also be automatically better. When you learn to love yourself, you also learn how to love someone else. Being happy should come from within you. Together you can enhance that happiness but the source has to be both of you individually.
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